RANT!!!!!

[shaunie_louise]

I had a home visit from my two phychologists today. (yes, it takes 2!)
One of them, we shall call her No.1 I've been seeing three weeks.
No.2 I've only just met today!

Have a looksie at our conversation:

No.2: Maybe I'm being subjective, but why does a 17 year old with 15 gcse's want a baby?"
No.1: Yeah, what if you wanted to go to uni, it's such a waste of talent?

So I tell them: Having a child does not stop you achieivng if you work for it.
Age is a number, it does not reflect my capability as a mother.
My and oh want this very much, we did not rush into the decision.
They are very rude.

No.1: I haven't got any children. I had an etopic pregnancy. But I look on it as a positive experience as if I had a child, I might not have gone to university. You do realise a child is everyday for many years to come?"

I CANT BELIEVE SHE IS SAYING THIS TO ME!!

No.2: I don't have children and have no experience with them.

THEN WHY START THIS WHOLE THING!

After argueing my point over and over again, No.1 says " We will just have to agree to disagree!"

I'm so angry
Does anyone else think this is very rude?

xxx

 

[babyblonde]

I think that's INCREDIBLY rude!!!!!!

I'd be asking for a new psychologist if I were you.

I have worked with a lot of psychologists are there are some really nice ones out there - unfortunately there are some who are incapable of seeing your point of view because their heads are too far up their arses.

1) It's none of their business whether you want a baby or not
2) Not everyone wants to go to uni anyway
3) My best friend from uni had her children at 19 and 21 and came out of uni at 30 with a first class degree - so there!

 

[Jade89]

I may not have any gcse's or ever plan on going to uni but I had my daughter at 17 and I don't see what it's got to do with anyone else?

Next time they ask you ''why does a 17 year old with 15 gcse's want a baby?" ask them ''what do 2 physcologists want with a 17 year old with 15 gcse's?'' tell them with all that education you can be your own physcologist.

Is this the only reason you are seing them because your 17 and ttc? or other issues? if that sounds nosey just tell me to but out but just curious.

 

[xxsammyxx]

Shocking behavious from them both hun

 

[melissa5317]

Not only extremely rude, but very unprofessional. If they're going to start comparing their life experiences to yours, they better have a damn good basis to do so, and it doesn't sound like they do. Not only that, but they better have experienced EVERYTHING in the WORLD because otherwise they're not qualified to compare anyones life to theirs, let alone yours! Stupid twats.

 

[HannahD]

Tell them to get stuffed!! Bloody cheek, how dare they lecture you on how to live your life. Having a child does not stop your ability to do other things, I knew loads of people at uni who'd had children early in life and went on to get excellent degrees.
How incredibly patronising...

 

[roseanimal]

how rude!! I hate it when people think they're better than me and know more cause they're older! it's your life so tell them to get stuffed!! plenty time to go to uni IF YOU WANT TO later on!

 

[ShineyHappyPeople]

I can't believe that women said that about her etopic pregnancy.. I bet if she had her way she would have had the baby and its not fair assuming that you don't feel the need for a baby the same way as she did

 

[shaunie_louise]

I may not have any gcse's or ever plan on going to uni but I had my daughter at 17 and I don't see what it's got to do with anyone else?

Next time they ask you ''why does a 17 year old with 15 gcse's want a baby?" ask them ''what do 2 physcologists want with a 17 year old with 15 gcse's?'' tell them with all that education you can be your own physcologist.

Is this the only reason you are seing them because your 17 and ttc? or other issues? if that sounds nosey just tell me to but out but just curious.

No, I see them because I have panic attacks, depression and anxiety.

xxxx

 

[Storm.]

Age is a number, it does not reflect my capability as a mother.

No it dosent, but depression anxiety and panic attacks might.While depression, anxiety and panic attack dont make you a bad mother they can hinder you ability to cope with sleeplessnights and demands of a small baby. I know people who have had kids with your mental health issues by accident and things worked out ok but I would just think you might wanna work on your issues first before complicating things with a kid by choice? Sorry if that sounds rude.. its not intended just asking. People are probably wondering what Im doing in TTC

Im totally with Midna on this one, as she said you may have no probs handling and looking after a child and you may be an excellent mum, but what if you started to struggle and suddenly found it hard to cope with, please dont say that will never happen because you dont know whats around the corner

Im not critising, I have seen you round the forum and you seem an ace lady who clearly would make a great mum, but maybe you need to sort out how your feeling before commiting to a child, in 6 months you may be fine or it could take a few years

 

[jo jo]

How rude.

Ignore them hun. It's your and your partners choice to have a baby, no-one elses and they were wrong to try to talk you out of it.

 

[Lianatoot]

I work in social work...and you are taught to have a non-judgemental and inbiased approach in your care, so not only is it rude its unethical, and VERY JUDGEMENTAL! You may be, only 17, but you have your own mind and can make your own choices.

I was 17 when I fell pregnant with my son, who is now 11, and I have done very well for myself thank you very much!. I have a healthy son, a healthy happy relationship with my DH, and a very happy home life. I also have a good job, I went to college for 4 years after my son was born...I now have a good life, and give my son a good life...

I showed all the doubters wrong, who said to me when I was 17, and pregnant that I couldent be a good mum, and couldent give my child anything of worth..I replied " I can give him love"

So you do whatever makes you happy, and what your head and your heart tell you!

 

[shaunie_louise]

No it dosent, but depression anxiety and panic attacks might.While depression, anxiety and panic attack dont make you a bad mother they can hinder you ability to cope with sleeplessnights and demands of a small baby. I know people who have had kids with your mental health issues by accident and things worked out ok but I would just think you might wanna work on your issues first before complicating things with a kid by choice? Sorry if that sounds rude.. its not intended just asking. People are probably wondering what Im doing in TTC

No, it doesn't sound rude and you are completley within your rights to say that.
I understand your concern and would just like to say, both me and my partner thought long and hard about this and feel that I am able to do this, with his support of course.
I have been a big part with raising my baby sister and even since I've been ill this has not changed. She is the light of my life and when I'm with her all my problems seem to 'dissappear'. In those situations, my main concern is no longer myself as I have this beautiful little girl to put first.
If I did not think I would be able to cope, I would never go through with it.

I hope that doesn't sound rude either.
Just trying to give people an understanding. x

 

[sam27]

from what you have said my initial response would be to agree with the couple that have said about the stress it could cause. but we only have what you have said to go and there are many different degrees of anxiety depression and panic attacks so to be honest only you will know if you are in a good position to start a family.

i wish you the best of luck with both situations, be sure that you know what is right for you, your partner and the child

xxxxx

 

[zebrastripes]

oooh O/T but what did you do your GCSEs in? I did 11 and I'm at a grammar school, thought I was doing well to get those at 34 weeks pregnant

 

[shaunie_louise]

I got:

Double health and social care-AA
R.E-A
Double Award Science-BB
English Language-B
English Literature-C
English Media-C
Mathematics-C
BTEC First Cert. in Sports- PASS (2 C's)
GNVQ Intermediate ICT-PASS (4 C's)

Congratulations on your results zebrastripes! You did really well! What did you get?

xx

 

[zebrastripes]

your school had a lot more variety than mine, the most diverse we got was Latin

I got
English lit A*
English lang. A*
Geography- A
French A
RE A*
History B
Economics B
Double Award- CC
Maths C --on my THIRD try

and we did some weird PSE course which apparently counted as a GCSE, i got a B in that

Are you doing A levels at all? Or just concentrating on TTC?

 

[shaunie_louise]

I did do some college but found it wasn't what I expected.

So I went to work as an exports clerk for an airfreight firm, but had to leave after 4 months due to panic attacks so currently just trying to conceive.

It was a shame I had to leave my job because the offered training up to degree level.

xxx

 

[zebrastripes]

Aw that's a shame. Still,maybe they'd take you back eventually...

I'm still doing A levels at school can't wait to leave TBH,all I want is my grades then I'm outta there