RANT about OH again!!! **updated now in tears**

[JayK2387]

Oh my god I could seriously walk out..... (probably being a tad irrational but im getting so fed up of it)

This month has been a hard one for us... We get no help from the council so end up forking out nearly £1400 a month on bills. How we will cope when im on maternity wages i'll never know, however this month I ended up paying out more on rent cause OH didnt have enough (after giving his ex £400 for HALF of his sons presents - yes they spent £800 on a 3 yr old for xmas and wonder why he is so ungrateful - anyway not for me to get involved)

so... last night OH announces hes giving his ex £150 for his sons bouncy castle for his birthday.... thats before buying him a present!!!!

WE'RE SKINT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I laughed and said yeah cause we've got that sort of money... then I looked at my tummy and went dont worry baby Mummy and Nanna will make sure you have everything and I promise you will have a seat to come home in if I have to borrow Laurens - my best mate who is 24 weeks pregnant.

GRRR.. hes not serious about Megan

I was at Laurens new place yesterday and her oh has got soo much for that baby, the pram, the cot, the car seat, the bouncer, paid £25 for a changing mat that matched all the bedding that HE went out and bought on his own without being asked. Hes bought her loads of clothes.

Im so jealous

I really wish my oh was as excited and serious about our little girl xx


**Update**

Ok pretty much just tried to explain how im feeling, resulted in him putting the phone down on me and me in tears!!

Im sick of this.

I seriously am.

Hope he misses her birth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Right now I can honestly say I HATE HIM!! xx

 

[Mik]

Grrrr I wrote out a huge reply to this and the forum crashed and it disappeared

I think he is overcompensating hun. He has the guilt of not being with his boys mum, her making things hard, and worry about his son feeling pushed out by the baby.

Sit down and go through what you need to get and whether you need it straight away or not until bubs is 3 months/ 6 months etc. Check freecycle and charity shops you can get some great bargains. Every time you go do a shop add a baby item (wipes, baby toiletries, nappies etc) it will add a few pound on each time you shop but will give you a nice stock of essentials when bubs is born. ALso ask family/friends if they can get you vouchers for Boots/ Mothercare rather than baby clothes as she will grow out of the first clothes so quick.

I hope you can get through to him hun

 

[SoonToBeMrs]

Aww hun..

You have my total sympathy..

..I kind of understand how you feel.

He needs to put his foot down with his ex and demand that she stop spending money he doesn't have! If she wants to spend £800 on xmas presents, she is welcome to, but your OH can only afford to pay so much. If his ex wants a bouncy castle for the birthday party.. he can only chip in so much..

..have you thought about getting CSA involved? I know alot of people hate getting them involved but now that your OH has another baby on the way the payments will come right down because your baby is seen as an important factor in all of this.. even if your OH cant see it.

Something needs to be done because its just not fair that you are sat feeling very pushed aside and like you and baby are not important.

Tell him how you feel and that you want to sit and discuss how much money he hands over to her. You have a right to dispute it. You are bearing his child. A child he will be paying for and caring for aswell.

All the best of luck to you hun..

xxxxx

 

[JayK2387]

Thanks for the replys girls.

I have more wipes / nappy bags / nappys / lotions and potions than boots lol. Mum and dad have been stocking up for me haha.

Mum and dad bought me the cot and all the bedding.

We pretty much have everything apart from the stuff OH promised (pram, car seat, monitors).

CSA are already involved - OH pays out 15% of his salery to her, but still gives her more more more whenever she demands. I love his son and understand he is just as important but I feel Megan isnt important to him at all.. I know im probably being a little sensitive with all the hormones etc...

I just dont know how to deal with it anymore. I feel the only way OH will do stuff for his daughter is when I nag him... he wanted to have a baby a lot more than me and now I just feel like he is not pulling his weight. Dont get me wrong I love my baby, cant wait to meet her and wouldnt change this for the world.... i just sometimes feel we've done the wrong thing

xx

 

[hellie123]

Thanks for the replys girls.

I have more wipes / nappy bags / nappys / lotions and potions than boots lol. Mum and dad have been stocking up for me haha.

Mum and dad bought me the cot and all the bedding.

We pretty much have everything apart from the stuff OH promised (pram, car seat, monitors).

CSA are already involved - OH pays out 15% of his salery to her, but still gives her more more more whenever she demands. I love his son and understand he is just as important but I feel Megan isnt important to him at all.. I know im probably being a little sensitive with all the hormones etc...

I just dont know how to deal with it anymore. I feel the only way OH will do stuff for his daughter is when I nag him... he wanted to have a baby a lot more than me and now I just feel like he is not pulling his weight. Dont get me wrong I love my baby, cant wait to meet her and wouldnt change this for the world.... i just sometimes feel we've done the wrong thing

xx

Ah bless you!! lots of


I think once Megan is born he will realise and I think his priorities will change. That's a lot of money being paid to his Ex!!! x

 

[mummy_ov_2]

i think u shoudl sit your OH down for a serious chat..... £800 on a 3 year old? thats outrageous!!! we only spent £200 between both our boys for xmas and most of their toys they play with together any way.

if he insists on paying half or everything for his ex then demand that he puts the same amount away for megan, in a saving account or something so that when u want to buy her things, the oney is there for u to use.

im sure when shes here it will all change, at least i hope so.

good luck tho