Positivity needed..

Discussion in 'Trying to Conceive' started by elsa16, Sep 4, 2016.

  1. elsa16

    elsa16 Well-Known Member

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    Hi girls

    I'm feeling particularly down and fed up today. I'm in my TWW and not feeling positive at all. I am just feeling that after my m/c it's bad enough having to try again but also I am scared the same problems will happen all over again.

    Last time the growth stopped 6+2 and nothing could be seen in the sac. I'm just so scared that even if I do manage to get a bfp again I will have to face up to another negative ultrasound scan.

    Has anyone had the same sort of 'blighted ovum' miscarriage and had a healthy pregnancy the next time around?

    Sorry for such a miserable post. TTC is getting me down

    Xxxx
     
  2. CoolNoMore

    CoolNoMore Well-Known Member

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    Hi elsa16!

    Aw, you sound low. Just remember that you're allowed to be, that's the point of the forum :D

    I haven't got as far as you have, but it sounds completely horrible. My best friend has had two miscarriages this year, 2016 is rubbish. I'm really sorry you had to go through that. I've not had a bfp at all yet, but I'm terrified of mc as well.

    If I can offer any positivity, it's that all the research that I've seen (and I'm getting a bit obsessive with it!) suggests that the body learns from its mistakes and your chances of a healthy pregnancy after a miscarriage are high. I'll dig out the source of that study if it'll reassure you.

    The TTW is as frustrating as hell, so if I can't stop obsessing, I start forcing myself to think positively. Every vegetable I eat, every vitamin I take, every 20 mins of exercise or whatever, I think about how it's contributing to making me healthy and able to conceive better. It sounds a bit dorky now that I've written it down, but it does help :D

    I hope you feel better soon, but let yourself wallow if you want. xxx
     
  3. Papermoon

    Papermoon Well-Known Member

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    Well said CoolNoMore. Don't give up Elsa 16! Anything is possible!
     
  4. may_lin_tewin

    may_lin_tewin Well-Known Member

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    Hi elsa16

    Think something more positive... I just had my First IUI Today and now i am beginning of my TWW too.... God is creating something more beautiful for you so pls dont give up....
     
  5. elsa16

    elsa16 Well-Known Member

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    Thank you so much CoolNoMore! That really does lift my spirits. Everything I read yesterday was very negative so if you can dig out what you read I'd love to see it.

    I'm really trying hard to eat healthily as well. My sister and mum have seen somewhere that ladies with a good diet and plenty of fruit and veg are 70% more fertile - crazy!

    How long have you been TTC CoolNoMore?

    May that's great you had your first IUI - I have everything crossed for you and hope you get your bfp this month! Xxxx
     
  6. CoolNoMore

    CoolNoMore Well-Known Member

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    'Fortunately, you are very likely to have a successful pregnancy after one miscarriage (an 87 percent chance, which is barely different from the usual risk of miscarriage)[...]One study even showed higher chances for a successful conception in the next cycle after an early loss.'

    Twenge, Jean M.. The Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant (p. 162). Atria Books. Kindle Edition.

    Annoyingly she doesn't cite the study, but that seems pretty positive, right?

    I had no idea fruit and veg could make that much difference, that's amazing! Jaffa cakes count as fruit though, right?!

    We've been at it since the end of Jan, and I'm going a bit crazy now. I've been using opks and tracking everything, so I really thought I'd be well and truly on the baby train by now, ready to pull into the station...alas, there are leaves on the line and First Great Western apologises for delays to my journey...

    That metaphor might have gone too far. I did say I was going crazy :D
     
  7. elsa16

    elsa16 Well-Known Member

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    :yay:CoolNoMore I loved the metaphor :yay:

    Definitely really needed to read that and get back to feeling like this is all not completely pointless.

    You've definitely cheered me up and put me back on track xxxx
     
  8. elsa16

    elsa16 Well-Known Member

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    Since January.. So 8/9 months TTC so far. It will happen and will be worth the wait! I don't think any of us really believe it will take so bloody long, especially after spending so many years avoiding pregnancy! Xxx
     
  9. Papermoon

    Papermoon Well-Known Member

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    Yes Elsa, try to eat as healthy as possible! For 10 years I've been eating healthy, fruits & veggies, no processed food or fast food, few carbs, no sweets, no sugar, no soda etc and exercising every day at the gym, and I got pregnant naturally at 47. So it CAN happen and eating healthy does help. Don't give up! I originally did it to stay healthy so I could age gracefully and keep my health as long as possible. I don't know what they put in processed food and fast food, but your body is better without it.
     
    #9 Papermoon, Sep 5, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 5, 2016
  10. elsa16

    elsa16 Well-Known Member

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    I'm on a mission Papermoon! Lots of fruit and veggies and proper home cooked meals without much processed food or overloading on fat.

    Congratulations on being pregnant - that's lovely news!!!

    Xxx
     
  11. Papermoon

    Papermoon Well-Known Member

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    Thanks Elsa! :) Good luck to you! You're off to a good start, I know it will happen for you! :)
     
  12. Kitana

    Kitana Moderator

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    Hey Elsa! When are you testing?:)
     
  13. elsa16

    elsa16 Well-Known Member

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    I thiiink 13th if I can hold out as long as that!

    What about you? Xxx
     
  14. elsa16

    elsa16 Well-Known Member

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    Just seen your ticker thingy - think I am also CD21 and 6dpo xxxx
     
  15. CoolNoMore

    CoolNoMore Well-Known Member

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    Ha, I'm glad I could help!

    Papermoon, you're amazing! Ok, ok, I'm going to try a little bit harder from now on (she says, finishing the biscuits off).

    I keep thinking about the train metaphor - I think I'd feel happier about this whole business if I could send someone a strongly worded letter of complaint to someone. Maybe to the editor of Seventeen magazine, who once published a story about a girl who 'got pregnant from a toilet seat' and contributed to my thinking that getting pregnant was dangerously easy!
     
  16. elsa16

    elsa16 Well-Known Member

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    Yes definitely - I feel we've been fleeced into believing it will happen almost immediately which makes the disappointment even worse. Bloody magazines and bloody sensationalist journalism!

    xxxx
     
  17. Papermoon

    Papermoon Well-Known Member

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    Thanks CoolNoMore! And LOL about the 17 magazine! Hahaha :rofl:
     
  18. Kitana

    Kitana Moderator

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    I'm testing this Saturday first though :)
    My bf will be home then. If it's a BFN at least I'll have something to look forward to. Wait is E.N.D.L.E.S.S. :wall2:
     
  19. elsa16

    elsa16 Well-Known Member

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    I'm testing on Saturday too xxxx
     
  20. Kitana

    Kitana Moderator

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    Oh cool! I don't have any symptoms though...
    Except 4DPO, I had a sharp pain in mijn right pelvic area that woke me up. Been a bit moody and crampy but that happens too with my AF.....
    Not feeling very pregnant....
     

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