Please help! Advice Needed

[kirstiexxxlea]

I've been a single mum for the past 6 months.
My ex was such a useless dad and made me feel like a single mum so I decided I might as well go it alone. It was the best decision I have made in a long time
He has been coming round to see Drew when he hadn't been at work or doing something he deems more important! I haven't let him take drew to his on his own because he can't be trusted. Had problems in the past with him not changing his nappy, forgetting to feed him! And ignoring him while he smokes one fag after another!

Drew had been walking for a while now and is more independent so I thought the ex could start taking him for a few hours so I can have a break. I am 24/7 mum and while I love every moment with him it is starting to wear me down. It doesn't help that I am under serious stress from my neighbour and the constant noise from her little boy. It is safe to say I am teetering on the edge of sanity!

So it had been a week since he had seen drew, he came round and I told him if he wanted to take drew he needed stair gates, high chair etc. He started an argument saying he should be able to take my stuff. I told him no and he left screaming, swearing and shouting after only a hour of visiting drew. He eventually agreed to buy his own stuff. So now it has been 2 weeks pretty much since he has seen drew. Out of nowhere on Saturday I got a text saying that he was buying all the stuff today and did I want to bring drew round tomorrow to see the place.
I said yes just to avoid an argument. It's come to today and I have been so stressed, tired and overwhelmed I have been cry almost non stop! I text him to ask if we could make it another day, thinking he would say 'yeah sure come round on wednesday instead' how stupid was I! He phones me up and goes off on one saying ' I've worked my arse off to get all this done, we had an agreement! You said he would come round tomorrow' I hung up on him, I was already upset. He phones back demanding to know why I don't want to go round tomorrow, starts saying that I have got some new bloke and that I'm not going to stop him seeing his son that he will come round and take him! That's when I lost all control and started screaming, shouting and swearing at him then hung up. Next thing I know he is testing me telling me he is going to go see a lawyer and that he would be round on Tuesday to get drew. I told him if he comes anywhere near my house I'll phone the police!!,

I just don't understand why he is doing this. I know he is still bitter about me leaving him but I don't get why he is going out of his way to upset me, doesn't he understand the effect it is having on our son? Time and time again he has said he will comr round to see drew and hasn't turned up, hasnt even bothered to text or phone to say he's not coming. Is going on Wednesday and not Tuesday that much of a big deal?

Sorry I know I have written sn essay! What I want to know us does he actually have a chance of bring able to take drew if he actually follows through with this! We were never married, drew doesn't have the ex's last name?

 

[kirstiexxxlea]

Ooops that last but made no sense

He keeps on threatening to take me to court and getting lawyers involved etc
Would they actually let him take drew?
Drew has never spent a night away from me and he still like the occasional suckle on boo boos
I can't bare the thought if him bring upset and wanting me and the ex ignoring it because he is too proud to admit he isn't capable of watching the LO for a whole 24 hrs

 

[Maria1977]

Sorry to hear all what you're going through.

I really can't see any reason why they would take your son away from a happy, stable home and put him with his dad who he doesn't have the same kind of stability with.

For your ex to even threaten that is so low and obviously just a way to get at you, not because he actually wants to have the sole responsibility.

I know it's easy to say but try not to rise to it, we all have sh*t days and things get on top of us but don't bite when he's trying to rile you.

Deep breath and just focus on your son, you have done it alone so far and are doing a wonderful job.

Whenever you need to rant here is there perfect place.