One year old feeding more and more by the day!

[cosmicgirl]

Little man is one and still BF.
He has 3 meals per day, snacks and juice. I work mon-fri 9-5 and when my oh picks me up from work, as soon as baby hears my voice in the car he's hysterical for boob. He clings to me until bed time, he doesn't give me a minute. Then we go to bed, he's still co sleeping because he refuses (despite my efforts) to sleep in a cot. I feel like he feeds a lot through the night too, at least 3 hourly at times.
When I'm off work the little man feeds on and off almost constantly, he cries to be held and carried and follows me around crying.
I'm wanting to stop bf now and HV said to try to stop the milk by using cabbage leaves. If I was to do this though, wouldn't he just scream and scream?
I feel trapped by him, I don't feel like I can enjoy him because I just get the crying little boy when I try to do anything with him that doesn't include my boobs!
Any advise please?

 

[Muguboo]

He's not feeding 3 hourly through the night cos he's hungry. He's wanting comfort and he's too used to boob. You're gonna have to wean him off it as the bond he has with your boob will be very strong now. It's gonna take distraction and a lot of patience - he is just going to have to realise that that method of comfort is no longer available but others are.

 

[cosmicgirl]

You're right! A lot of the time he's not even drinking, he's just got the boob in his mouth. You think he's asleep and take it out then he cries! It's going to be really hard. My other 4 just naturally weaned from the boob themselves, they lost interest at around 10 months but this little man is more interested than ever!

 

[inky]

That must very hard it definitely sounds like a comfort thing, when he comes for boob you could try and engage him in a different way, maybe read a book to him? Or play a game? Anything that still gives him the one to one he seems to need, but shows him you can be close on other ways?

 

[cosmicgirl]

That must very hard it definitely sounds like a comfort thing, when he comes for boob you could try and engage him in a different way, maybe read a book to him? Or play a game? Anything that still gives him the one to one he seems to need, but shows him you can be close on other ways?

That's the thing though, I don't seem to be able to appease him at all, he screams if he doesn't get boob! I've tried books, toys, cuddling, singing - the lot! It's like he cannot take his attention from boob iykwim.
The HV said he can smell my milk and if it's not there anymore he will stop wanting it, is this true? Or would I just be left with a distressed little man and empty boobs?
I wish he'd just go off it by himself but he loves it!

 

[Heather85]

My boyfriends cousins baby is one on tues. She spoke to her health visitor because he has started doi ng exactly this. What the health visitor said its one of two things. Either a 1 year growth spurt. Orr he has started to see her as a milk source and the only way to combat this is to stop breastfeeding without weani ng, just make him go cold turkey. Which I think she feels is a bit harsh, her plan was to wean him off. Xx

 

[cosmicgirl]

I felt really torn by her advice to just cut off the milk, I want to stop but I don't want it to be distressing for him (and me!).
Please let me know how your relative gets on.

 

[Muguboo]

Thing is, because of the comfort thing, I do think it's going to be very upsetting for him. But - it shouldn't take too long. I think following your HV advice is a good plan - if there's no milk you are forced to do it even though it'll be rough - if you have milk you'll almost certainly cave cos we're hard wired to want to stop their distress.

I would pick a weekend (assuming OH has weekends off) - and sleep separately. When bubs cries OH is to do all he can do settle/comfort him. It won't be easy - I reckon you'll get a couple of days of nightmare but if you stick to it for that long I bet it'll be sorted. It's hard to do, but littlies can change what they're used to very quickly.

Good luck whatever method you decide on x

 

[cosmicgirl]

Thanks love
It's going to be very hard, this little man has his mummy wrapped right around his little finger!

 

[knopk@]

I guess it will stop if you wean or night wean. Up to you(if you are ready to stop, brace yourself and do it) x

Tapatalking so cant see signatures

 

[inky]

I probably wouldn't just stop to be honest. It doesn't sit right. Even if he is being completely unreasonable, he's still only a baby and clearly isn't ready. If you do decide to stop then I think you should do it slowly and gently. It's easy for the health visitor to say just stop then (although it surprises me a little if I'm honest, has she offered any other advice?). She's not the one who actually has to do it and doesn't know your baby, and how it would affect him emotionally, the same way you do. It's a tough one for sure. It would be easier if he was open to other activities bless him. Maybe now just isn't the right time? How would you feel about seeing how it goes for a few weeks?

 

[cosmicgirl]

I agree Inky, I did not feel comfortable with the HV advise to just cut him off at the source (out cabbage leaves in my bra and dry it up!), she felt that if he couldn't smell my milk that it would solve half the problem?
I'm not going to do it that way, I couldn't do it that way. I will give him more time and try to discourage it rather than deny him cold turkey. I just hope that that is the right thing to do.

 

[Heather85]

Its whats best for you too. Remember it wont just be him goi ng cold turkey it will be your boobs, plus its emotional enough stopping.

Health visitors and other mums can give advice, but at the ens of the day its you that needs to physically do it xx

 

[cosmicgirl]

Thanks Heather, it's such a hard decision

 

[Mum2betash]

My lo is almost one now and I would like to gradually stop afte her first birthday but my lo uses my boob for comfort at night time. I think I could pretty much stop the daytime as she isn't that interested but she gets up every night and will only settle for milk... Well comfort sucking anyway. I'm unsure how I will stop?! Xx good luck

 

[Muguboo]

Thanks Heather, it's such a hard decision

And remember, the cold turkey option is always there, whereas if you use it first it removes other options, so there's no harm in trying other methods first as you may find something that works without being as emotionally difficult

 

[cosmicgirl]

True, thank you

 

[Hope81]

I have a friend with this problem xx she let him him nurse until 2 year old then she went a weekend away with her oh and left the baby to her mum.
It worked but her baby was one year older.
I would personally work on sleeping in a cot/toddler bed as I am not so sure there is much you can do until that it's solved?
Once he sleeps there he may wake once per night and eventually not at all.

 

[cosmicgirl]

That's definitely a priority for me, thanks Hope

 

[Mrs Wibbily]

Little man is one and still BF.
He has 3 meals per day, snacks and juice. I work mon-fri 9-5 and when my oh picks me up from work, as soon as baby hears my voice in the car he's hysterical for boob. He clings to me until bed time, he doesn't give me a minute. Then we go to bed, he's still co sleeping because he refuses (despite my efforts) to sleep in a cot. I feel like he feeds a lot through the night too, at least 3 hourly at times.
When I'm off work the little man feeds on and off almost constantly, he cries to be held and carried and follows me around crying.
I'm wanting to stop bf now and HV said to try to stop the milk by using cabbage leaves. If I was to do this though, wouldn't he just scream and scream?
I feel trapped by him, I don't feel like I can enjoy him because I just get the crying little boy when I try to do anything with him that doesn't include my boobs!
Any advise please?

Are you me? This is me!!!!!!! Boob boob boob boob boob boob! x