OH's low sex drive

[dina.marie]

This is going to sound a bit weird, but my OH has a very low sex drive. For once in my life I'M the one having to ask for sex all the time not the other way around. and its frustrating me because obviously u need to have sex if ur ttc!

im not the most confident person in the bedroom so i struggle to initiate things as it is but im finding it really hard work now esp when i occasionally get the reply that hes too tired etc. its damaging what little confidence i have.

is anyone else in this boat? i thought maybe he didnt find me attractive anymore etc but hes admitted that he just has a really low sex drive. what can we do about it? HELP!


and this bit is a bit embarassing, he'll kill me if he found out im broadcasting it online!!!....but lets just say that it really doesnt last very long either...so quality and quantity is out the window....omg maybe i should speak to a sex therapist instead.

 

[Donna's here]

Hi Di. I can imagine how your feeling. Having to initiate sex all the time and be told he's too tired would knock me down too. But some men do have a low sex drive like some women do to. Does he have fits and starts with it, like every few months he's like a rabbit, then goes back to snail in shell, or is he just like it constantly?
I couldn't really think of anything for you to do and try apart from natural remedies like foods that boost sexual drive, so I googled it. I came across a web site that says that a man needs to eat brazil nuts & almonds and that theres sprays and patches you can buy to higher Testosterone. I'll PM you the link, might be worth a read.

 

[JPS]

Hey there, I am in exactly the same boat as you. Since I have been giving hubby Vit C + Zinc I am sure it has improved a bit. I get him the fizzy tablets from boots as he really likes them rather than a tablet. Before ttc we honestly dd once every two weeks. My drive is the opposite so it is so frustrating but try not to make too much of a thing of it.

I find something that has really helped that I never would have thought of using before ttc was bedroom toys. I went to Ann Summers and got some furry handcuffs, a 'clit kit' and a 'cock ring' I'm really sorry if this is tmi but I was desperate for something to get him going and it helps a lot. He gets really turned on if I use the 'clit kit' (Basically a small vibrator with different end attachments). As an added bonus for the first time in my life I have had a self induced 'O' from the kit so it helps with the frustration. (I promise I am not perverted.... maybe I should change my profile picture in case someone recognises me!)

I know it's really hard as men are portrayed as the ones who are supposed to want it all the time. You are not alone, I am 28 and OH is 31.

 

[shezza30]

Yes I can sympathise with you, my oh is up and down with his sex drive. I find that when I don't initiate it, he's more up for it very strange I know. And also, he doesn't like to think that we are doing it just to make a baby, so I try avoid that subject before hand if I wanna bd that night, it's very strange how men work and I don't think us girlies will ever suss it out, but don't worry, I know exactly what you mean about your confidence being knocked. My oh works out quite a lot and eats loads of zinc rich foods and I have noticed he is more up for it lately, maybe this is why? Who knows, but good luck anyway.