OH just really upset me

[Tangerinedream]

I was just telling him about what this small minded git at work said to me today (basically he asked me if I was showing yet because he couldnt tell. I deffo look pregnant but was a size 16 before geting pg and had a bit of a tummy so he was having a dig at that, which doesnt really bother me because hes a t**t and i dont care what he thinks.) I told my OH this and he said when ive had the baby i could make more of an effort to lose weight

Last May i decided to lose weight as i was inspired by a friend who had done so well and looked fantastic. I joined the gym and worked out/swam 3-4 times a week and joined slimming world. In in 4 months i only lost half a stone which was pretty demotivational after that. i carried on with slimming world but stopped going to the gym as much until december when i found out i was pg. By that point i had lost 10lb in total since may which wasnt very good really. (i admit i occasionally cheated on slimming world because i cannot live on salads all the time, i would give up really quickly otherwise). He says i give up too easily. I gave up on the gym because i was doing all the housework, all the shopping and all the cooking too and just couldnt sustain going to the gym too. He just sits in front of his F*****g pc playing bloody spaceship games which sometimes i think he cares about more than me as he certainly spends more time with it. He can eat anything he likes, as much of it too and will not put on an ounce. He is just so unssupportive and gets really nasty if i complain about my weight or shape. i know he loves me the way i am and doesnt care if i lose weight or not but saying i dont try hard enough....... he doesnt have a f*****g clue!!!

Sorry, rant over. im just soooooo upset.

 

[Riley's Mommy]

oh hun. that was a really mean comment for him to make

try not to listen to him, he doesnt realise how hard it is for some people to loose weight.

maby put some body builder powder in his food so he gets bigger then you can do the same to him only joking though, it may be dangerous.

i wouldnt say a size 16 is big anyway.

ignore the mindless comments. you dont need to take them on board

 

[Vicki83]

Aaaww hun, what a thing for him to say, hope you gave him a good whack!

Men can be so insensitive at times

 

[SarahH]

Grrr!! Don't worry about it!! Men tend not to think before they sepak!

Just say... well at least I can do something about my weight if I want.... but you'll always be an ugly, unthoughtful git!!

Usually makes them wake upi and pay attention!

 

[happy-chick]

Men definately think before they speak, u should have whacked him round the head!

Keep ur chin up hun, loosing weight is very hard ive been through it myself.

xxx

 

[mummykay]

men are stupid. end of.

 

[madam bully]

men are stupid. end of.

Totally agree.

They don't posses the part of the brain that controls tact or thoughts.

 

[glitzyglamgirl]

Absolutely agree with the above lol!

Ive realised something after years of arguments with my ex, men are fixers and women are talkers!

If we have a problem, we like to talk about it just for the sake of talking about it - it helps us understand it, we feel better for talking about it.

Men, however, think that if we are talking about a problem, its because we want them to fix it!!! Thats why they come out with stupid comments like that, in their minds they're giving you a solution and thats all thats needed! They dont think about it in terms of how you feel about it, or how what they say will make you feel, they think they are helping lol

Ive explained to my OH a few times now that if I talk about a problem its just because I want to talk about it, and if I want him to fix something or suggest a practical solution then I'll let him know, otherwise just let me talk and agree with everything I say

 

[Sabrina]

Absolutely agree with the above lol!

Ive realised something after years of arguments with my ex, men are fixers and women are talkers!

If we have a problem, we like to talk about it just for the sake of talking about it - it helps us understand it, we feel better for talking about it.

Men, however, think that if we are talking about a problem, its because we want them to fix it!!! Thats why they come out with stupid comments like that, in their minds they're giving you a solution and thats all thats needed! They dont think about it in terms of how you feel about it, or how what they say will make you feel, they think they are helping lol

Ive explained to my OH a few times now that if I talk about a problem its just because I want to talk about it, and if I want him to fix something or suggest a practical solution then I'll let him know, otherwise just let me talk and agree with everything I say

This is so true GGG!

They really think they are helping sometimes by saying stuff like this. TangerineDream try not to let it get to you. There will be plenty of time in the future to be thinking of dieting and exercise. Right now you need to cultivate a cosy warm home for your LO. That's all that matters.

 

[Tahlia85]

men are stupid. end of.

Definately!

Such an insensitive thing for him to say. If my ex ever said that to me I would have probably kicked him out the house, especially seeing as I am quite hormonal.

Glitzyglamgirl-lol at the end of your post! That's a good idea to inform him of that so that he knows for next time.

 

[Alfiesmummy]

Ignore him men say things without engaging their brains first,

In fact only this morning ian was eyeng up my still saggy belly (which ask me if i care about ... aswer is do i fluff) and suggested tha instead of sit ups wouldnt it be easier to do bench presses, i wasnt even doing sit ups, i smirked and said whydont you find my front bum sexy? he went all embarressed and started stuttering and mumbling that he was trying to help etc, so i just wound him up for half an hour laughing saying, "go on Ian dont i do it for you?" "do you not like a voluptuous woman" etc bless he got rather hot under the collar! Your Oh loves you and although men are incapable of thinking first, are insensitive pigs who hurt our feelings, reme,ber you have the power to take away something he cherishes

Also I would like to say I think its such a shame we live in a society that a size 0 is what our daughters grow up wanting to be. Tell me if im wrong but are we not as women supposed to have curves and bits where bits should be? I was a 8 before Alfie and tbh i loved my figure, i am now a 14 and guess what im still just as happy, because i eat what i like, i still wear clothes i like, i have a lovly home a wonderfull family and i may be 7 sizes bigger than the likes of victoria beckham but at least im happy, and least i laugh every single day and at least i feel alive, hun whilst the likes of her and kate moss tuck into their salads and mini fish crap pate things im eating real food, you are beautifull and whats more your how woman was intended to look, curvy, happy, not like a 7 year old little boy chomping on a celery stick!

Ask any man in the world who they would rather bang, Victoria Beckham or Charlotte Church, I know who my man would say! and i know who id rather look like!

 

[Tori]

well said alfiesmum, i think it totally outragous (sp) for 12 year old girls to start worryong about their size, their only children n should be having fun n not worrying bout staying skinny - what is this world coming too its really sad.

 

[glitzyglamgirl]

Absolutely agree AM

Im a size 14 and love my curves, when I was a size 10 I just looked ill and flat chested, now I got hips to sway and a cleavage to show off, I feel more confident and sexy then I ever did before!

 

[Tara & Liam]

i think it is impossible to loose weight when you are not getting motivated by your partner. when you are just put down all the time it just makes you want to eat and think f*** you. (in my experience).

i am lucky my DH is very supportive, says all the right things and it really does help.

never mind that you say that you lost 10lbs, thats a great achievement no matter how long it took.

 

[pip]

Well said Alfiesmummy, I worry (if)i have a little girl that she will be so obsessed with her weight and end up with some sort of eating disorder. Things like this really worry me...and magazines put so much pressure on young girls to look flawless...most of the images we see in media are so airbrushed, stretched and slimmed down it gives false messages for young girls to strive to achieve the impossible.
I put on loadsa weight with Alfie..i managed to lose most of it before falling pregnant again...but i still have a saggy wrinkly tummy...sometimes it gets me down but as cliched as this sounds..my tummy was my babies lifeline and that makes it worth it.
Men just don't think sometimes...my DH is good on the whole but sometimes puts his foot in it and then tries to desperately back track which makes it even worse. He know i'm quite sensitive about my weight.

My man definately prefers curvy women...i don't mean fat as some very overweight women class themselves as curvy...no i'm talking about proper curvy ladies such as Charlotte Church, and Nigella Lawson. We were made to be curvy to nurture...not stick thin...it's not healthy.

I've always said i want to get back to my size 12 figure...this country tends to go from one extreme to the other...either obese or stick thin...What happened to proper curves...shapley breasts and bottoms...bring em back i say!!