Nursery re-assurance please

[nikkif]

I go back to work 3 days a week in 2 weeks time

Charlotte has had 3 visits to nursery so far, the 1st one i left her for half an hour and she loved it and only cried when i got back and she realised i had gone. But, the 2nd and 3rd times when i left her for an hour, she was upset and it was as if she knew i was going to leave her. Its awful, i feel so bad and she did play a bit while she was there there but they said she was crying on and off the whole hour like she was angry cos i wasn't there. She is normally friendly and sociable and happy to play with other people.

DO you think its cos she recognizes it now and knows i am leaving her, and have any of you been through similar and it got much easier?

Deep down i know she will settle but i hate the thought of her being upset all day when i am back at work

 

[MissThing]

Hi hun

Giving you these We decided to take Daniel out of the nursery before it even started (but we had other issues)

You just have to be ready for some But I bet it will pass and in a while she's gonna love it

 

[Sage]

From my experience all new babies go through this in the nursery i work at. it takes a good few weeks for them to get use to it. Some children will always cry as they do associate it with seperate from mummy but i gainentee u 99% of the time they're fine and happily playing within the hour of being left. I no its hard but often its easier to hand them over give them a quick kiss and say mummys coming back soon then go. the longer you stay the more upset they get after you leave.

If you can work 3 days next to each other that will help to. the children that have a day in then a day out of nursery often find it harder to settle as one day they're in nursery then the next at home with mummy, think it confuses them a bit.

Im back to work tomorrow so my little boy is having his first day at the nursery i work at on wednesday so im so nervous to! stupid really because i no he'll be well taken care of but the nerves are all part of being a mummy i guess!

 

[KJ]

Hi Nikkif

Asher is like that. He's fine in the car going to nursery, fine when I'm carrying him in, but as soon as I hand him over to a member of staff, his little face crumples and he starts crying! It's heartbreaking but I know he has to be there cause I have to work.

One day, on my way out whilst you could still hear him crying in another room, I asked the nursery owner "is he like this for a long time when I leave?". He said "just stand here and wait a few seconds". So I did, and the crying stopped! The nursery owner said "see? It's just for your benefit that he's crying, he's fine within minutes of you leaving".

I think a lot of babies are like that. I do the, hand him over, give him a quick kiss and say mummy loves him and to have a nice day and then I walk straight out without looking back.

He's still getting used to it and is still a bit quiet and withdrawn, but they say he's gradually getting better.

K.xx

 

[nikkif]

Thanks for your replies
Sage i am going to be working Mon-wed so that should help. ow did your 1st day at work go?

 

[Sage]

knackering!! they totally wore me out!! I covered in the baby room which was nice as i got to meet the new staff and no the routine a bit better for when ky goes tomorrow. Im still nervous!! out of 129 children he is the youngest by 5 days! ha! my little mans all grown up! Im hoping he wont cry when i hand him over but if he does im just guna give him a kiss and walk away im positive he'll settle down when he sees the monster variety of toys he can play with and all the home cooked meals and yoghurts he can munch his way through.

Out of the 18 babies in the room yesterday over half of them had tears when their parent left but were fine in minutes. there was only one new little girl that was a bit sniffly but she was fine as she got to sit on a member of staff all day just for that security and she was fine once she new she could have a cuddle when needed.

Charlotte should have a key worker when she starts so if shes finding it a bit hard to settle she will be with her all the time to get use to her so if she gets upset she'll be there to comfort her. it works really well.

 

[Becky]

Lucy has been in nursery since she was 10 months old (she's now 3). Those first few times and then the first full week must have been the worst because even when she didn't cry I felt so guilty for leaving her and was always wondering if she was crying for me.

Luckily for me the nursery were fantastic and reassured me that its normal for children to cry at the leaving but most of the time they've stopped a minute after you've gone. They promised that if she didn't settle after a little while they would ring me to come back (which never happened) and after a while she stopped crying and started going off to her key worker without any problems.

Lucy now loves nursery and always has done. She still has days where she says she'd rather stay at home (but then don't we all!!)

The best advice I can give you is to give her a bit more time, she's probably also picking up on the fact that you're nervous about leaving her and going back to work so once that's settled things will get better.

Oh and one thing that I still do now sometimes but helped me loads was when I went to pick her up I would stand at the door quietly and watch her playing for a min to see what she was like when she didn't think I was there and it was reassuring to see her crawling about playing with the toys happy as anything. She'd only start to cry when she saw me! A bit of a relief "oh you're back" thing but it was nice to see she hadn't been crying her heart out the whole time I'd been away!

 

[Penstraze]

I used to work in a nursery settling new children in and its very common for them to be fine the first time when they don't really realise whats going on with your leaving them but then to get upset next time as they know whats coming it will take alittle while for her to settle in properly and be ok but she will get used to it and it will get easier for you! Some children do always cry when left even after going to the nursery for a long time usually this is just for Mums (or Dads) benefit they seem to know that it makes you feel bad and its harder to leave them then they're totally fine again once you've gone until you come back when they might cry as soon as they see you to make you feel like an awful parent cause of course they were crying whole time you were gone and not playing and having fun at all honest when I worked at nursery with the children like this we would try and sneak Mum (or Dad) in without the child seeing so they could observe them playing happily before child spotted them and started crying so they could be reasured they didn't cry all day and we weren't making it up that they had been happy!
I hope she settles in soon so leaving her isn't so hard on you both!

 

[KJ]

that's really interesting abotu babies crying when they get picked up at the end of the day.

I was getting worried because, as soon as Ash sees me he starts crying! It was making me think he didn't like me very much! I knew he'd cry when I left him, but I thought he'd be happy when I picked him up!

But if it's normal then that makes me feel better.

K.xx

 

[Krystal]

that's really interesting abotu babies crying when they get picked up at the end of the day.

I was getting worried because, as soon as Ash sees me he starts crying! It was making me think he didn't like me very much! I knew he'd cry when I left him, but I thought he'd be happy when I picked him up!

But if it's normal then that makes me feel better.

K.xx

completely normal hun! Jack does this everytime. I do the same as Becky and when I go in to pick him up I stand at the door watching him play and giggle, the moment he see's me or hears my voice WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! They know exactly how to work us

 

[Becky]

They know exactly how to work us

Yup, and they just get better at it. You've got to be about 5 steps ahead of them or they catch you out every time!

I recently had this conversation with Lucy:

Lucy: I don't want to go to nursery
Me: Why not?
Lucy: Because its not fair
Me: What isn't fair
Lucy: It just isn't fair
Me: Well I think if you go to nursery today you'll have a lovely time
Lucy: OK then.

At first I was worried and though she had a problem but then once she was in the car she was happy and didn't mention it again!

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

Bray has been going to nursery since he was 4 months and 5 days and is 3 in september, he goes wed - fri and loves it he always pushes me out the door lol