Not coping

[Eveadel]

Hi girls

I dont feel that I am coping at the moment. I was lucky to have my my DH off for one week, then my mum the next and then DH the next week and then my mum then week after. Last week should of been my first time on my own but my mum was off sick so I saw her most days. This week is my first week on my own.

I didnt have a good day Sunday as Isabella was very moany and when it came to my DH going to work Monday morning I was in a terrible state and begged him not to go to work - he stayed at home with me.

I phoned the HV and she came round that afternoon and she got me an emergency appt at the docs but he couldnt do anything for me as Im partly breastfeeding - I dont really want to take anti-depressants anyway. The HV has been coming everyday to check on me.

Im ok looking after Isabella but Im just very anxious if something happens to me she will be on her own.

I tried to go out yesterday and off we went in the car - I heard on the local radio that there was very bad traffic and that just set me off having a funny turn and I had to rush home as I was so worried we would be stuck and say she woke up for a feed, etc.



Im feeling very anxious and panicky alot of

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

awwww hunni hugs

every new mum is nervous hun and ur lucky ur HV is being supportive how about going for a 5 min walk and then slowely going out for longer??
hope u feel beter soon hun

 

[Urchin]

Aw you're right, it can be very nerve-wracking at first, it does get better though, I'm glad you are talking to your HV about it.....it's a good idea to get out, even if it's just for a walk....you'll feel much better.

 

[ToriElla]

awww i felt really overwhelmed some days too. its a huge change to get used to and you are doing great.

I used to worry when i went anywhere incase eva wanted a feed too and i would panick incase she was crying and i couldnt see to her straight away but it does get easier and you will start to feel more relaxed with time hun. they don't feed this much forever either so it will get better x

 

[Eveadel]

Thank you girls. I do hope it does get easier as I really couldnt go on like this. My mum has offered to take her overnight but my DH doesnt agree. Im not quite sure why he wont.

 

[lauramumof2]

Thank you girls. I do hope it does get easier as I really couldnt go on like this. My mum has offered to take her overnight but my DH doesnt agree. Im not quite sure why he wont.

He might think that the best way to deal with this is to face it head on but I disagree. Have your night off and enjoy it. You will feel better for it. I feel like this too, im scared on my own but I know that the first 6 weeks are the worst. I wondered before baby 2 if I would feel like this again and im surprised its snuck back up but I know that it will all fall into place.

 

[Eveadel]

To be quite honest Laura I think it is because he doesnt trust my mum - I think he is a little over anxious.

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

ur mu brought u up hun and ur ok ask if she can have izabella for a couple of hours

 

[Hypnorm]

Thank you girls. I do hope it does get easier as I really couldnt go on like this. My mum has offered to take her overnight but my DH doesnt agree. Im not quite sure why he wont.

He might think that the best way to deal with this is to face it head on but I disagree. Have your night off and enjoy it. You will feel better for it. I feel like this too, im scared on my own but I know that the first 6 weeks are the worst. I wondered before baby 2 if I would feel like this again and im surprised its snuck back up but I know that it will all fall into place.

It does get easier but it does take practice - i am a shy nervous person generally and the thought of going out with a newborn scared me, but i had to make my self - you are very lucky to have people close - i was only home 2 days before i was on my own completely.
My hubby is self employed so we couldn't afford to have him having too much time off - which he felt really bad about,
And my mum is 30 mins away but cannot drive and the bus services are crap.
So i made my self go out and do things only little things to start with - like driving to mums, or walking to the shop, i'd time it so that ewan had just been fed then go.

I knew i had to get out and do it then - otherwise i would never have had the confidence to go any where - i also made my self go to a local BF group and it was great - i was out and about on my own before ewan was 10 days old.

I think you have to grab the bull by the horns and just do it.
Speak to your MW tell her u r uneasy.

I can understand where your BF is coming from - he wants you to learn how to cope, he wants you to do welll without calling on family to help you.

Hope this makes sense - you can do it... belive in your self

 

[Dee1985]

awww babes i was like this with both of mine not so much harley though as i was more confident.

i used to worry of some thing going wrong. but just relax babe take it all as it comes and still to this day nothing has gone major wrong. i just used to be so worried about Dior having a crying fit and me not knowing what to do. but you will soon get to no your LO signs and crys ect and you will be fine x x

its just trail and error the first few months then u will feel so confident

 

[Tara & Liam]

hi hun

every mum feels like that at some point, whether its the same feelings that you have or whether they can cope with feeding, sleeping, sickness etc.

you are doing well by just talking about it.

how close is your nearest park, baby group, shop. maybe you can just walk around the block with isabella and see how you cope then. Are you nervous about bf in public.

 

[Eveadel]

Hi Davina

I dont like BF in public and when I go out with Isabella and my hubby I will take a carton of formula instead.

My HV has advised that my postnatal group will be starting end of September so I am looking foward to that.

 

[nicki]

Hugs to you hun.
Its hard trying to adjust to being a Mum & takes time to build up the confidence but it will come. It took me ages to pluck up the courage to go out on my own for the first time. I did it in stages & it got easier.

I want to go on holiday but keep making excuses not to because i'm worried about everything but I know deep down that it would be fine! so know how you are feeling.

The more you do things the better it will become. Be brave hun, you can do it.

 

[Freya]

Evadel please dont worry!! What you will find is that after a few more weeks your confidence will grow (as will baby) and there will come a time when you will wonder what you were worried about.

My advice is same as others really - try and get out, the more you do it the easier it gets.

 

[beanie]

hun. I have had PND since Seren was born but wasn't diagnosed with it for a few months. My HV thankfully picked it up and was amazing. I now have been referred to a mother and baby unit and see a psychiatrist there. I also am taking antidepressants as it was getting very bad and was originally put on prozac but they changed it as I was convinced I was harming Seren (even though I wasn't) so they have put me on paroxetine as it is one of the lowest amounts in milk. Today I had to do the questionnaire again and my score has decreased though is still over the limit but I have taken that as a step in the right direction. I am really glad my HV intervened as I don;t know where I would be. Talk to your HV they are trained to help with this.

 

[Tara & Liam]

i didnt know about that beanie, this is something that should be a sticky so that new mums can recognise the symptoms. there is an awful lot of ignorance re pnd, (take tom cruises comments to brooke shields) and a lot of times mums feel to ashamed and worried that they will loose thier babies if they ask for help.

can the mods think about this please i think you will help a lot of mums to recognise the symptoms.

 

[Eveadel]

Oh Beanie Im sorry you are suffering. I unfortunately have suffered with depression and my nerves for about 16 years but in the last 2 years I have felt my best that is why my DH and I decided I/we was ready. Ive got an appt with a psycologist a week Monday as I was getting depressed in pregnancy and the appt has only just come through.

 

[beanie]

am pleased to hear that your appointment has come through (even though it took a while). i hope they help you, pm me if you need to chat anytime

davina, its not something i really talk about as it is easier for me to pretend its not there though sometimes its not always possible. my friends know and have been amazing both on the forum and here. i will mention the possibility of a sticky to Laura. if anyone would like to help with the sticky please pm me. i agree with the ignorance, i just thought i was a really bad person and that i was a bad mum, now i know it is chemicals making me feel that not me. good idea hun

 

It is hard babe, and them baby blues can go on longer than couple of weeks sometimes. Try getting out just for walks round where you live instead of going out driving if you get nervous about her needing a feed.

I have PND like Beanie, and it's good some days but very bad another day. I've had depression since I was 14 and it's just not gone away really. There is alot of ignorance out there I agree, even now I sometimes think people are going to take Damien away from me.

Evadel, I think possibly the stress of the pregnancy is coming out on you aswell now. Mine has with Damien as I was so strong the whole time, then after I cracked as I finally didn't have to stay so strong.

 

[Tara & Liam]

these are the symptoms that i have.

i feel resentful that dh is at home with our boys.

sometimes i just want him to leave then he can have the boys every other weekend and i will get some sleep and peace and quiet. i feel that i am doing more than dh. i just feel like crying sometimes.

i think i just have the baby blues, plus i had the mirena coil put in at the end of March and i think that it might be those hormones. what do you think.