My mum was a single mum, I can't remember when they split up as I've blocked out a lot of my childhood. My mum did fantastically having me and my older brother to herself, she did send us off to or grandparents every weekend but we loved our grandparents (my "dad's" parents) so it never really felt like being palmed off. My brother has Aspergers so not having either of us from Friday evening to Sunday evening was her chance to unwind. Her parents lived 400 miles away so she was reliant on my paternal grandparents to help her.
I personally don't have contact with my father anymore but I was always allowed to see him until I made the choice not to see him when I was 13. He ruined my childhood and has tainted my adult life, hence referring to him as my "dad". Saying that, I think it was important to always give your children the option to see the other side of their family and only make a take away contact if it's dangerous for the child. I think it's important to not allow any personal upset of seeing each other or having to talk to each other get in the way, if he doesn't turn up and let's the child down I actually think it's better to let them make the decision to stop contact than it is to do it for them. Yes it's hard to see them upset when dad lets them down but it's better that than them hold a lack of relationship with their dad against you. I know that you haven't said anything about contact but eventually it's going to arise, I wanted to kind of put across what I would have wanted coming from a single parent home.
My mum managed and she's gone from having next to no qualifications and no physical or financial help from my "father" to being a senior care assistant in end of life care, she did her NVQ's from home while we were at school and she's qualified to do things like kidney dialysis too. She earns a lot of money for someone who didn't go to university and more so for someone with two children, one of who is disabled.
When I was about 4 she met someone who she ended up being with for 14 years. They have now split because they wanted different things but within a year of moving 500 miles away (towards her family) she's met someone knew and they get along great. Don't ever think that there's no way of coming back from it or that you'll never be happy with someone again or even feel guilty that you two aren't together for baby, it's better to have two happy parents in separate houses than it is to have one unhappy home and when LO is older they'll eventually see that you two broke up for all 3 of you.
I hope you start feeling better soon, eventually that initial shock will pass and everything will start looking brighter for you and your LO xx
