Needing to vent

[NightWolf18]

The only people to know about our pregnancy are people I've talked to online for years and become friends with as I was too excited to not tell at least someone. Feels like the biggest mistake I've made as in some way or another they've all made things feel very meh. This is the most exciting thing to happen to me and no one seems to really care at all and it's making me feel rather alone in this new chapter of my life. I can understand maybe kids aren't for them as they want their single lives etc still but I thought they'd be at least a little more responsive. This is part of a conversation after just one day of announcing and it's easy to see why I'm so miffed..

8:49 PM
lol
8:49 PM
how long is the baby stuff gonna go on for?
8:54 PM
Forever
I'm excited about my cells forming every day
94 PM
im excited about food but dont go on about it lol
9:11 PM
Baby > food
9:13 PM
in your opinion
9:15 PM
In most peoples opinion. Human life comes way before being excited about food, literally no competition
9:16 PM
ok but thats most people lol

The worst part of that is the fact they couldn't see how that was rude I'm excited and this is all so new and I wanna share it with everyone but I'm being careful not to go overboard. I wouldn't be surprised if I outgrow these people over the next 9 months which is a shame but if they can't express they're happy for me then what's the point in calling them friends. I've had a lovely day for the most part with Riley (girlfriend) sorting out money, looking at baby items to get a rough idea early and spent time at the park with my young niece and nephew. The last few hours though.. meh, and all because of people not giving the slightest toss.

Announced the pregnancy over Facebook and got 1 like and 1 comment, how can that not make me feel crappy?

Shall feel better once I get to cuddle up with Riles and we watch some Come Dine With Me before sleeping, just needed to vent away somewhere no one knows me before that happens. Roll on telling family who will care and make it all a good thing

 

[mylullaby]

Sorry to be blunt, but most people - online or offline - won't really care about your baby that much. Especially not before it arrives. I'm sure they'll wish you all the best when baby's here, but seriously, the arrival of a new bundle of joy is only really life-changing for close friends and family. Different on a pregnancy forum because the relationships are formed around getting pregnant, but for other friendships - work colleagues, online friends, your gym buddies or whatever - having a child is just a bit... well... meh. Seriously.

I often see pregnancy announcements on Facebook and while I'm happy for the person, I then hide anyone who has a weekly pregnancy countdown app thingy. They get on my nerves. And I hide anyone who posts loads of photos of kids I barely know. They get on my nerves too. Might seem harsh but they just don't interest me. I do like some of my former work colleagues and old school friends, etc but I'm just not that bothered about their children. LOVE seeing pics of nieces and nephews and family members but not anyone I don't see regularly.

So... my advice would be to surround yourself with people who DO care!! Share your feelings on this forum if it's too early to tell family yet. Then when the time is right, let your friends and family in the real world know and let them show as much or as little interest as they like. But don't expect anyone to be as excited about it as you and your OH. I'm sure even those who don't seem that interested will change as things become more real. And really as long as you and your other half are happy and excited, why does anyone else's opinion matter? You can just be excited together.

Friendships naturally come and go - in real life and online - so it's fine to find yourself drifting away from friendships that were built on a mutual desire for partying/gaming/hobbies to friendships with other parents - through forums or anti-natal groups/nursery/school etc. Nothing wrong with it - happens to loads of people - of course there are some friendships that stand the test of time, but in reality only other parents will ever really be able to relate to how you're feeling.

 

[hayln]

Unfortunately you will outgrow alot of ur friends when ur pregnant and have a baby. When I was pregnant with DD none of my friends really cared I just started getting excluded from things. But on the plus side this is a start to new friends who u can share ur pregnancy with especially if they are pregnant too! I was very lucky that one of my friends was due the same month as me, and our kids are born two days apart so weve always shared EVERYTHING no matter how TMI lol x

 

[JD.Deedee]

To be honest sounds like your online (gamer?) friends are more interested in porn and gaming than leaking boobs and dirty nappies.. Sorry to disappoint. Just because you developed a friendship online surrounding wherever you have met doesn't mean you are all at the same place in your life. And not even all my friends want babies or fancy talking about babies because they are 10-15 years away of being in the place in life you're at. And if you are bothered about only getting 1 like for your status I would seriously reconsider whether you told the right people first.

 

[NightWolf18]

Not gaming friends nah, all mostly female ones I've gotten to know through various things online. The one friend I did meet through gaming was more into it all than anyone else and male. What bothered me about getting just the one like was the fact these people know my history and a baby is beyond huge and they'll stick more likes on random crap that means nothing. Needless to say it's opened my eyes as to who means what they say and if they don't wanna know one thing, they won't be knowing anything else to do with it

 

[JD.Deedee]

Perhaps they're a bit shocked you're announcing at a tiny bit too early too... Most people tend to wait after the first scan... Facebook jokes and all that going round these days, perhaps your friend didn't see it coming or are not expecting such thing to happen at this time in your relationship god knows. People can be very pre judgemental when you throw any thing out in the open on facebook and the thing is they don't visibly have to react to it by liking or puposely not liking the post if you get my drift. Again if it's a very unspoken subject prior to your missus pregnancy you don't know how them people look towards this subject. Try again after the first scan and infuture try to keep your enthusiasm until the first scan

 

[PixiePie]

I had the same problem as you. I (used!) to have lots of online friends and not a single one of them gave a flying monkeys about my pregnancy. I soon learned that I had outgrown them and to be honest, once your baby is born you won't have time to be online and chat to people anyway! My son was born in February and I think I've spent a couple of hours online in that time lol.

A massive congrats to you and your girlfriend though! It's a fantastic time and by the sounds of it you are going to enjoy every minute of it, your first scan will melt your heart when you finally get to see the little bean for the first time!

My advice is just enjoy this time with your girlfriend and any close friends or family that are excited about it too, don't let the killjoys get to you it's your baby and you have the god given right to be excited about it!