My OHs ex is beating her son where do we go from here!!!!!!?

[Kas]

We have just recently found out that my step sons mum had been emotionally and physially abusing him, as her cousin came to me today and told me whats been happening, were kinda tied as we've just went through a 2 yr £3000 court battle to get to see him and after all that my SS, mum told daft storys at court and continously broke court actions there fore we had to cut our losses and decided not to pursue the case. My SS, mums cousin said she overheard an argument and heard him screamin i hate you mum i want to go live with my dad and im sick of you using me as a punch bag. She also told us that she keeps him in so nobody from my OHs side can see him out playing and that on 1 to 1 meetings hes told her about the beatings. Where do we go from here the Lawyers again? Police or Social work department, It would be so hard for him to have to stay with his mum til she went to court, as she is sick in the head and fulls his wee head with nonsense, saying his dad doesnt want him and that hes nothing and a nobody. What can I Do? XkelX

 

[lauramumof2]

You have got to get the person who heard him say it to go to the police. If you do it, it might backfire. Thats an awful situation to be in.

 

[Hypnorm]

If you’re concerned that a child you know may be experiencing abuse, or be in danger of harm, don't hesitate to act. Phone our free, 24-hour Child Protection Helpline on 0808 800 5000, or contact your local social services or police.

i got this from www.nspcc.org.uk

Hope this iss of use, he may be put in temporary care but then you would have a very strong case for custody.

Hope you get it sorted.

 

[beanie]

I would contact Social Services, there is usually an emergency phone line you can phone.

 

[cassi]

contact social services, get the person who heard what the child said to phone police too he needs to be taken away from her ASAP and she needs to be locked away!!!

what a sick person how could you do that to a child i swear to god i wish i could line up people that hurt children and shoot them one by one!!

 

[Kas]

Ivs had a word with my OHs side of the family, their concerned that it might be my step son whos telling lies, if not severely exaggerating things as hes done this before with us. I spoke with a judge, and asked him his opinion, he says get the person who told us to go to the police as we have had nothing but legal battles etc and her trying to threaten us and tried to get us done with breach of the peace when it was her who threw a brick at my car when i was pregnant, luckily we informed the police 12 hours before she did!! I have to wait 24 hours for my SS mums cousin to go to the poilce and if she doesnt we will, but the judge did say it will look to them as if were nit picking due to the previous court actions etc. so be prepared for a grilling, Im not sure if he stays with his mum if he would give evidence against her as shel start crying and tell him hel never see her again and shel get locked up and stuff.

 

[Kas]

Thanks for your advidr girls I managed to spaak to my Ohs ex cousin, basically shes gonna speak to her family and see it they will back her up with the court case as theres nothing my OH can do as we havent heard my SS say any of it, so shes gonna call the social services 2morra, and she told me they had a huge falling out and shes stopped her own cousin going near the wee guy, they almost fought about it in her house as she confronted her, shes always been a hothead she attack eveybody thats why she cant keep a job down, and ive heard that she had mental health problems when she was in her teens. My fingers and toes are crossed that the social services can help my SS. XkelX

 

[hannahbet20]

thats so awfull my oh went through similar things as a child with his dad and stepmum and it really does mess you up why would you do that to a child and even more so your own i just cant understand it when so many people cant have children and people are having children and dont deserve them, i hope you get somewhere with this because it sounds as if hed be better of with you guys.

 

[Kas]

Thanks Hannah ive just found out more disturbing news of the mental abuse this time she said to him the other week look at the size of you wee willy how you gonna have sex with that nobody will want you, my god hes only 9, why say somthing like that to your kid when all it does is give them a complex, she also said theres never any food cupboard of fridge/freezer, and when the OHs Exs cousin takes my SS out he can never eat even though he says hes always hungry, he asked his mum what was for tea and she said im having some salmon I dont know what your gonna have, and she ate infont of her starving son. Also she allows him to play in her garden 1 so we cant see him if we drive past a 2 because she can shout him and hel come in and make HER food and drink when hes told to. My mum said I should call his school and tell them what ive heard, theyl check his attendance, look out for the scratches and bruises and note if theres any change in his personality ie lack of concentration/agression/ then they would contact social services with what they think is happening XKelX

 

[Tara & Liam]

thats terrible. What a horrible position that you and your OH are in. not being able to just pull him out of this situ.

i do think that kids (a majority) wouldnt lie about something like this. that poor little man.

let us know how you get on.

 

[hannahbet20]

thats awfull i cant believe she would say that to her son hes going to have no confidence at all, my oh used to have a nervous stutter and when he gets upset or down he starts to stutter slightly, he really did have a similar mental abuse to that and its taken him a long time to get over it, do anything you can to get him out of there if she really is doing these things councellors or social workers could get him to speak up about it im sure, the school thing is a good idea too if theres a teacher he trusts he may be able to talk to them. again wishing you luck

 

[Kas]

Hey thanks for your support all, least i can chat to people who can give advise from the other side, I spoke to my OHs exs cousin shes saying she isnt gonna go to anyone as her family have advised her that it will cause an uproar in their family plus shes kinda scared of my SS mums abusive/sgressive nature, funny you say that about the stutter, hes started stuttering over the past year, showing lack of concentration, im sure the last time he was suffering from depression,as he was saying real negative things about himself and crying for hours at a time, his mums cousin did say he was crying coz he didnt want to leave us here and go back to his mums house, im gonna call social services, and tell them everything i know, if i dont do anything and wait and see what happen maybe he could end up badly hurt then id never forgive myself. Il tell them where i got the info from and theres been 3 people shes told about it in our family and pleanty of others close friends etc, I havent slept properly in days. XKelX

 

[Urchin]

That's good, I'm sure you'll feel better for it hun.
You are doing the right thing


Keep us posted.

 

[Jo]

Hi hun, i have just stumbled on this post and am feeling concerned for that poor boy.
Did you tell someone? how is the situ now?

all my love

 

[Kas]

hey i was wanting to call social services but when i had an hour long fone call with the girl who told us the story her stuff didnt match up, we asked her to go to the police and we would back her 100% but she refused to and her family said the wouldnt back her up with it. We wer advised that it would look like we were defo nit pickin and without gettin any chance to speak to my stepson we had no real proof, turns out his ex and her cousin are back on talking terms and she wont talk to us about it. So weve decided to wait til he goes back to school call his head teacher tell her of our concerns and if she sees anything different in my SS personality bruises and scratches can be monitored by the PE teacher and they will contact social services id love to help him more but my OH has asked me to back off as hes sure its a ploy to get him to fight with her at her address and for her to get a restraining order on him so we cant ever even talk to him in the street, i will keep you all informed of the progress though XkelX

 

[Jo]

Hmm does sound a bit odgy to me, maybe the Ex and cousin cooked it up to get a reaction

i deff contact school though, they will have already rcorded it if they have noticed anychanges in his behaviour and appearnce etc...

It must be so hard for you stuck in the middle

good luck

 

[Kas]

Thanks Jo, its such a hard decision but i suppose my OH knows his ex better than me and he defo thinks theres something fishy going on, she really would love an interdict out on him, shes already managed to get a no contact order but we can still chat to him in the street if we see him and it drives her nuts XkelX

 

[claireabell]

Aw hunnie, this is a really awful situation. How did she manage to get a no contact order? I would defo contact the school though and they can keep their eyes on your SS, that might help put your mind at rest a little. Does your OH have parental responsiblity order?
I have been in similar situation myself with my partners ex and SD and the whole situation was very messy.
I hope things get better for you in the future babe.
Love n
Claire
xxxxx

 

[Kas]

Hey Claire, we asked for a no contact order, you see she has a sick mind and was saying we had locked him an my son in a room and they were both crying while i hit OH with a hoover 3 weeks after giving birth i could hardly lift myself. At the end of it all we could have ended up with a social worker for our own son as she was making my SS lie too. After 4 months of no contact she though we had cut her and my SS out of our lifes and she kept gettin my SS to call his dad at work asking for money and clothes we already give her £200 a month and we dont even get to see him. On Thurs, we had planned a caravaning holiday for me my son and OH, but she caught wind of it and called to see if SS could come too, (so much for locking him in a room etc) so we decided we would take him so we could ask about his mum hitting him we couldnt find much out but we saw that he had obsessive eating disorder, and said his mum only hits him if he annoys her by asking for a CUDDLE!!!!! but we couldnt get any more for him as hes been well warned about what he says.....................next post LOL

 

[Kas]

In the meantime we had called our lawyer to send hers a letter stating when we were taking him and that she had contacted us etc. And its stated that we would be taking further action when we returned and wont be taking him until she signs half parental rights to us and agrees to the set days we had through mediation. IF she fails to obide by the agreement then we cant do anything about it, but once signed she can never take back the parental rights, so would give us more leway to go back to court and have a court action stating we have to get the days back, it also makes her look stupid as she was saying we were misstreatin her son only to allow us to have him when it suits her. When school goes back i will contact the school and meet with the guidance teacher and hopefully they can get more contact with him obviously their trained to deal with this situation. So fingers crossed XkelX