My Mother is driving me bonkers!!!!!!

[BellaRiven]

So I think my mum has always thought that when I fell pregnant I would need her there at the birth as she was for my sisters first, now when I was younger with that possibility I would have said yes but I now I am 31 and can cope, so the who ha came up over this the other day and I very firmly told her after talking to hubby that she wasn;t going to be at the birth, so she very stanchly said that she would be waiting in teh waiting room, which I said was fine but she would be more comfortable at home and she disagreed!!! and to be honest if hubby can't cope it might be nice to have her there to jump in lol

I do understand where she is coming from but her and hubby don;t get on that well and it would just be more stress!

The other day we got our scan date and I let mum know so I could go show her the pictures and again she very strongly advised that she would be coming to that and to let her know the time, this time I gave in and so did hubby.

He very much feels this is a private thing between me and him, we created it so we will do all the baby stuff together without help, I know she only wants to help and I love her for that but I just don;t know how to deal with her when she gets this stubborn!!

She also keeps doing the well it didn;t happen that way in my day, and 'you can eat that despite what the healthcare professionals say it didn;t do me any harm etc etc grrrrrr

Sorry for the whinge

 

[kanga86]

Oh hun it must be awful having ur mum pushing u to let her be there for everything. I unfortunately don't have my mum around as she passed away 7 yrs ago, but I don't think I would want her there interfering in everything. I just hope that my mil doesn't try and push herself on us with scans and the birth etc, I definitely will be putting my foot down.

I think letting ur mum be there in the waiting room is a good compromise, although u could not tell her til quite late on into the labour, a bit sneaky though xx

 

[BellaRiven]

I really do appreciate having my mum around still, and I feel awful for moaning about it, I have seen my friends suffer when their mum's aren't around any longer and I know it's hard.

I must sound really ungrateful :s

 

[kanga86]

No u don't hun, I don't think u sound ungrateful at all. I fully understand ur point of view. U have to do what is best for u, ur oh and ur bean xx

 

[beckyboo1]

I think your hubby is right it is a private thing between you two. Fortunately my mum hasn't been too interfering and I've loved being able to share things with her straight after!!

Maybe it is time to strongly but nicely tell her your grown up now and although you love her being involved it needs to be on yours and hubby's terms xxx

 

[hellywelly]

When I read things like this I realise what a fantastic mum and mum in law I have. She's your mum, and you love her, but your OH is right, your body, your baby and she needs to respect that. I think you are very nice to cave in over the scan!!! Unfortunately if my mum was like this we would fall out big time as when people tell me 'I am coming like it or not' I dig my heels in even more!! Be firm and she'll get the message. Good luck!

 

[masonowen]

Me and my oh feel the same, it,s just between us, i,m not against having anyone there as I was my friends birth partner and think having a female birth partner can be reassuring, and I belive it,s the mothers choice. So i,d just tell her thats it,s your decision, and you hope she respects that choice. I have a mil who really want,s to be there at the birth but she knows it won,t happen.

 

[Hope81]

last time i was pregnant (unfortunately i mc) my parents drove me crazy.....like now you have to eat right and did you eat spinach today? don't get out of the house without a hat and a scarf, wowwwww you shouldn't be lifting the grocery bags....that kind of thing, every day, all day, through Skype even as my parents live in a different country. so they would call me even 3 times per day and every conversation would start with are you ok?????

regardless to say that next time i am pregnant (prays to God it will happen soon) they will know about my pregnancy after the baby is born......i am not so sure if i will be able to actually do that, though because they are not in the same country it should be possible but yep call me a selfish beast but those are my intentions. they only meant good but God they drove me crazy last time....