My DS is being a right sod.

[mrs_tommo22]

And its all happened since we moved to his nans. I cant help but feel its cos were here and is sharing a room with me and his dad.And isnt going to nursery here like he was in macclesfield.
Hes being damn rude as well, ignoring me when i call him, telling me to shut up and hitting my bump! Have told him is naughty behavior but he doesnt listen! On top of that Im telling him no (ie stop touching the videos) and he smiles and carrys on doing it. I f i was in macclesfield still i woulkd smack his legs, but i feel i cant disaplinhe him here thew way i would because of his nanny.

Im a strict mum and have alwasy prided myself on that stephen is very well behaved, uses his manners and didnt give me much concern.

But since bein g here im feeling im loosing control and its annyoying the hell out of me.
Even my husband has told me to just let him get away with stuff cos were living at his mums.

Its depressing and Im fed up of having to bite my tongur.Any ideas before i kill someone

 

[annie4]

im not sure what age he is but he is obviously v. bright and clever - he has cottoned to to the fact that you are not going to disipline him in the same way - i dont know how long you are planning on staying there but i think you need to nip this in the bud - my dd is 4 and was being v. naughty/crying etc so we did a star chart for her - only 3 targets
1. be a happy girl (ie no crying etc - just a picture of a happy face)
2. sleep in own bed all night
3. eat up all dinner
- she is 4 and we have said she can choose a treat at the end of the week - if he is younger or maybe just to get started you could give him a treat at the end of the day - dont go overboad with the treat - maybe 2 stories in bed rather than 1 or a packet of crayons
the point is to keep reinforcing all day - how WELL he is doing (it really does work) - how proud you are of him etc - then if he goes to do someting naughty just say - how sad it would be if he couldnt get his sticker/star as he had done so well all day -
i would give him at least 2 targets
1. you KNOW he will easily achive
2. to be kind to people - tell him this means listening to mummy and showing love
- i would keep the chart in your bedroom - dont let others give or remove stars - it MUST be within your and your partners control

sorry this is so long but it really does work - i find that even if im going shopping etc i oly have to praise the kids 2/3 times on the way into the shop eg. how good they are holding my hand etc etc then they 'glow' with pride (most of the time anyway)

 

[mrs_tommo22]

oo thanks for replying!

He will be 3 at the end the month, and were there until the council move us.

 

[annie4]

hope it helps

 

[Babylicious]

I really feel for you going through this, my ex mil was the same (although we never lived there thank god) - paris would throw shoes around and basically raid the fridge. Half the time she would look at me when doing it

 

[MicheLou]

I feel for you! I too am I strict mummy who also prides myself on having a well behaved child. Recently I was beginning to struggle with DD's behaviour.. the more I was saying no or commenting on or losing my temper and shouting the more she would do it and try nautier things, and the worst - grinning at me while doing it. I regularly brooke down in tears in front of her and wondering what has happened to my good, lovely, little girl!. It was spiraling and I was in denial that it was my parenting.

I am a well educated person, with oodles of common sense, work with children with special needs, know all the text book strategies but couldn't quite see that I was effecting her behaviour.

I don't think my situation is what you are going through but I think the solution could be.

I sat down and gave myself a good talking too and I decided I was stuck in the 'no don't do that' route and needed to give her attention for the good things. Yes I know it's text book and easier said than done but it really does work.

I think you probably relise that your little boy is probably finding the change difficult too and although I doubt you need me to say it maybe to hear that it's hard from him too might help you regroup and have a think how you are going to deal with situations before they arise. Things like time out, confiscating his toy, unable to goto such and such if been particular naughty but think of oodles of treats for him when he has been good - and for the slightest lovely thing.

I am so sorry if I have preached or sounded 'upmyself' I just feel I needed to reply - also, grandparents are the devil when it comes to discipline.. my mum am mil in just don't help me keep my DD in order when we're together!