Im not quite sure where to begin with this one but some may remember my love hate relationship with my mother and sister.
Without sounding like "woe is me" ive always felt they are dissapointed in me due to my previous life choices despite getting myself back on track etc. Nothing remotely bad either. Never took drugs or been involved with the police, I was just stupid thinking I was in love so got married and had a child with the man. They hated this. After 2 years I left him and made a life for my and my son and without blowing my own trumpet have worked bloody hard for everything I have. I worked full time while being a single mum, everything I have is owned no tv couch car etc on finance and have my house. I met my OH and we got a bigger house together and had our miracle daughter....so not as if im sitting on a street corner every night!
Anyways. Theyve always just seemed to loom down their noses at me like im a bit of dirt cos I got off on wrong foot, even my gran agrees with this.
I am in no way perfect. Nor am I mother of the year. thankfully we are in the position that I can be a stay at home mum and yes its a struggle money wise but we feel worth it as I am at home for the kids etc.
This however is frowned upon, and in my sisters words "your a fuck up cos you dont work". Seriously not making that up!
Now my sister as much as I love her, is one of those people who needs others to think she is perfect and has the perfect life etc which is anything but....
Yes she has nice home car etc but she cannot stand to think of anyome being better. For instance my parents bought a new car, 4months later she bought the same one but a year newer. When we moved to our new home (4bedroom) we turned the 4th room into a toy room and by jings shes now trying everything to turn her study into a toy room, see the pattern?
I am the middle child, have older sister and younger brother. I gave my parents their 1st grandchild, my son. I dont see this as a big deal if im honest. When I announced inwas finally pregnant with my daughter, my sis then fell preg, theres 4 months between us. When I then announced our daughter was infact going to be a girl my sister then didnt speak to me telling me dad " I should be giving you the 1st granddaughter seeing as im the 1st born and SHE gave you the 1st grandson". Once her dummy was picked up and cleaned a few months later she spoke to me again.
She has a 5yr old and a near 2yr old, both boys which sge isnt happy about as she was certain 2nd one would be a girl. she is at a loss with them because the oldest we think has adhd. But then the things she says and does to him I think doesnt help, hits him on head in public, tells her husband if her son doesnt get out her face shes going to slit his throat, hes actually a bit of a bully. He has been caught smothering his little brother a few time, will push him etc etc. Now the little one is starting to be like him. He will play with my LO and randomly bite her or grab her face and dig his nails intonher cheeks....which she will let him do. Once we at mums house its as if the kids dont exist and expect everyone else to care for them. Its obvious to us shes struggling but on outside...all is perfect and merry. She is desperate on a girl but her husband doesnt want anymore children. She has told me numerous times shes gonna rape him till she gets what she wants which I have told her I think is wrong, but she hits back with if he doesn't give me one I will get one elsewhere.
Well on the 3rd of december after many tantrums and screams from the kids while she sat on her phone, she announces to me that her husband has agreed to another baby and shes monitoring her periods...I smile and think oh lord. My mum who has the boys a fair bit is a bit the same!
Now my dilema..... I found out on the 4th I am expecting. Not planned but not prevented but didnt think id catch as quick considering it took 16 months to conceive our daughter. And I just know shes going to kick off
. Saying ive done this on purpose etc. We arent telling anyone not even my parents until we get our 12 week scan, I wanna scream from the rooftops im so excited but I just know she will pop this little bubble me and my partner are in this is why we keeping it to ourselves till we know everything ok.
I am absolutely bricking it telling her cos its just not going to end well. She wont be happy. She thinks its her time which if thats what she wants then go for it but I just dont want to be made to feel like they made me feel when I was 17 telling them I was pregnant and them making me feel ashamed of having a child to the point I would hide my belly.
I just had to get this written down its all ive been thinking about since I got that positive pregnancy test, I shouldnt have to hide my excitement but I feel I have no option.
Any help or advice will be greatly appreciated.
Thanks for reading if you made it this far x
Without sounding like "woe is me" ive always felt they are dissapointed in me due to my previous life choices despite getting myself back on track etc. Nothing remotely bad either. Never took drugs or been involved with the police, I was just stupid thinking I was in love so got married and had a child with the man. They hated this. After 2 years I left him and made a life for my and my son and without blowing my own trumpet have worked bloody hard for everything I have. I worked full time while being a single mum, everything I have is owned no tv couch car etc on finance and have my house. I met my OH and we got a bigger house together and had our miracle daughter....so not as if im sitting on a street corner every night!
Anyways. Theyve always just seemed to loom down their noses at me like im a bit of dirt cos I got off on wrong foot, even my gran agrees with this.
I am in no way perfect. Nor am I mother of the year. thankfully we are in the position that I can be a stay at home mum and yes its a struggle money wise but we feel worth it as I am at home for the kids etc.
This however is frowned upon, and in my sisters words "your a fuck up cos you dont work". Seriously not making that up!
Now my sister as much as I love her, is one of those people who needs others to think she is perfect and has the perfect life etc which is anything but....
Yes she has nice home car etc but she cannot stand to think of anyome being better. For instance my parents bought a new car, 4months later she bought the same one but a year newer. When we moved to our new home (4bedroom) we turned the 4th room into a toy room and by jings shes now trying everything to turn her study into a toy room, see the pattern?
I am the middle child, have older sister and younger brother. I gave my parents their 1st grandchild, my son. I dont see this as a big deal if im honest. When I announced inwas finally pregnant with my daughter, my sis then fell preg, theres 4 months between us. When I then announced our daughter was infact going to be a girl my sister then didnt speak to me telling me dad " I should be giving you the 1st granddaughter seeing as im the 1st born and SHE gave you the 1st grandson". Once her dummy was picked up and cleaned a few months later she spoke to me again.
She has a 5yr old and a near 2yr old, both boys which sge isnt happy about as she was certain 2nd one would be a girl. she is at a loss with them because the oldest we think has adhd. But then the things she says and does to him I think doesnt help, hits him on head in public, tells her husband if her son doesnt get out her face shes going to slit his throat, hes actually a bit of a bully. He has been caught smothering his little brother a few time, will push him etc etc. Now the little one is starting to be like him. He will play with my LO and randomly bite her or grab her face and dig his nails intonher cheeks....which she will let him do. Once we at mums house its as if the kids dont exist and expect everyone else to care for them. Its obvious to us shes struggling but on outside...all is perfect and merry. She is desperate on a girl but her husband doesnt want anymore children. She has told me numerous times shes gonna rape him till she gets what she wants which I have told her I think is wrong, but she hits back with if he doesn't give me one I will get one elsewhere.
Well on the 3rd of december after many tantrums and screams from the kids while she sat on her phone, she announces to me that her husband has agreed to another baby and shes monitoring her periods...I smile and think oh lord. My mum who has the boys a fair bit is a bit the same!
Now my dilema..... I found out on the 4th I am expecting. Not planned but not prevented but didnt think id catch as quick considering it took 16 months to conceive our daughter. And I just know shes going to kick off
. Saying ive done this on purpose etc. We arent telling anyone not even my parents until we get our 12 week scan, I wanna scream from the rooftops im so excited but I just know she will pop this little bubble me and my partner are in this is why we keeping it to ourselves till we know everything ok. I am absolutely bricking it telling her cos its just not going to end well. She wont be happy. She thinks its her time which if thats what she wants then go for it but I just dont want to be made to feel like they made me feel when I was 17 telling them I was pregnant and them making me feel ashamed of having a child to the point I would hide my belly.
I just had to get this written down its all ive been thinking about since I got that positive pregnancy test, I shouldnt have to hide my excitement but I feel I have no option.
Any help or advice will be greatly appreciated.
Thanks for reading if you made it this far x
