Midwife Rant

[Mrs.s]

I just need to vent really I had my 16 week app last night which my DH and mum came to (mum wanted to hear heartbeat) and the midwife asked if we were going to find out what we were having?

I replied to say that I am letting my DH decide as he isnt sure but that I really want to know, this started off on a 20minute rant about how I am wrong to want to find out the sex of MY baby!!! I tried to be nice to her and say "well its a personal choice" but she kept on and on and on. I was really peed off I felt like I had to justify my actions!!!

I have already had all this crap with my OH family who also dont like the fact that I want to know! I dont see why I should have to justfiy my actions I havent ranted at anyone I know who doesnt find out as it is not my place to!!!!!

grrrrrrrrrrr sorry girls just needed to rant!!!!

 

[flexilexi394]

Ahh that's soooo annoying!! I hate my midwife with a passion. She doesn't tell me anything and is very judgemental. So I just don't speak to her about anything. As for OHs family, mine are a nightmare too and totally drive me mad about everything! I am on your wavelength with this sort of topic. Lol x

 

[Countrybumpkin]

Both OH and i wanted to know, more as we are nosy and also white and cream isn't practical when living on a farm and hubby being a agri engineer.

So many people when we said we were thinking about finding out, where "no", don't do that it spoils the surprise. Well as far as i am concerned it is a surprise if it is at 20 week scan or when they are born.

Anyhow we did find out as that is what we had decided, but we haven't told anyone except for my Mum, who also wanted to know, plus i couldn't keep something like that from her and would struggle when we went shopping, LOL.

So if you want to find out go for it, just tell everyone else that you have no idea.

 

[Countrybumpkin]

Just realise you meant the MW went on, what business is it off hers. Sometimes i do wonder why some people have gone in to such professions, amazes me.

 

[Mrs.s]

It just irritates me Flexi this is my body and so I will make whatever choices I want to it has nothing to do with anyone else! I understand that there are people who like the surprise but for me personally I am so impatient that I think it will drive me nuts! I think the next person who moans at me about it is going to get shouted at! My In laws just think I am a spoilt brat (probably right) and they hate they I will be setting up the nursery before the baby is here and all the other superstitions that I dont follow!!!! Im the black sheep!

 

[Mrs.s]

yea I know countrybumpkin I couldnt believe what she was saying! other people have said it to and these people have swayed my DH (he is very impressionable bless him) its very annoying!

 

[Mrs_B]

I know it is totally your choice hun and it is wrong for the midwife to go on at you.

My mum is friends with a MW and she said that when the parents know what the sex is before the birth it take a little bit of job satisfaction away. This MW said she loves being able to share the surprise of telling the parents what their baby is. Kinda sweet in a way.

 

[Mrs.s]

Yea im sure it does although even if we dont to find out I wouldnt want to MW to tell us I want my DH to be the one to say what the baby is so I will be taking job satisfaction away anyway!! lol ! she is a danson MW are you under danson care MrsB?

 

[Mrs_B]

Yea im sure it does although even if we dont to find out I wouldnt want to MW to tell us I want my DH to be the one to say what the baby is so I will be taking job satisfaction away anyway!! lol ! she is a danson MW are you under danson care MrsB?

Yeah I totally get you hun. I think they just like the excitement, still no reason to get arsey with you though.

I am under danson ward. I had my appointment the other day at the danson children's centre, did you go there? Who did you see? Feel free to PM if you dont want to post names here.

 

[Mrs.s]

I had mine at my doctors but for the life of me I cant remember her name now? was the one that you saw nice? so far I havent had contact with a nice one yet and its worrying me! lol

 

[Mrs_B]

Ah fair enough. The one I saw was nice, though she wasnt the one who did my booking in appointment and said she didnt normally work at the danson centre. I would be worried too if I hadnt seen a nice one. I am a little concerned that I havent seen the same midwife twice, I wonder what will be the case at my next appointment.

 

[Annie050408]

Some people are a right royal pain the butt when it comes to this subject and it really winds me up.

My line on this was simply this 'Well this is my baby and I wanted to find out and I'm utterly delighted I did - when it's your turn don't find out if that's how you feel!' -that soon shut them up.

Or if they are older and had kids years ago I said ' Well these days, what with modern technology, most people do find out (90% apparently) and I don't regret finding out for a second!'- I heard that is true from every sonographer I've seen (4 different ones so far)

 

[JJ Mum]

I bet your fuming !

Either are both lovely ways to find out, and I can't believe your oh's family would moan so much about you getting everything ready before baby is born! You can't do any smelly painting afterwards! and will have no energy for DIY or time to go shopping, it's soo the wrong way round!

That Midwife should not ask the question if she won't like the answer, she must think it's her personal task to change peoples minds before 20 week scans.

I didn't want to find out this time, just to savour it as my last baby, but we did see in the end, and sooo pleased. And now much easier to get organised and decide where baby will sleep etc as I have other kids.

The whole idea is it's your choice ! (get the sonographer to do what mine did and write the confirmation of sex down, in a envelope and hand to you, OH does not need to know, and you can shop etc get the bits ready for nursery to put up afterwards). Will be hard to not slip up tho on he/she etc ! (oh keep the coloured bits with your family or a mates house!)

 

[lelly]

Who is she to be so judgemental, as a midwife this is unacceptable behaviour. At the end of the day its your decision if you want to find out the sex of your baby, not hers. After all its your baby !! Stupid woman, next time you see her just ignore her if she goes off on one. Simply say, well thats your opinion isnt it! and change the subject cutting her dead. xxx

 

[xjdx]

Do what you want to do, so many people have opinions these days, she has know right. I would of complained at the doctors x

 

[Squeakz]

tell her to mind her own business and if she wants a suprise that much, have her own bloody baby and wait to see what it is!! i know its frustrating though! my OH's family didnt really want us to know, but they understood its our shoice. They didn't want to know, however when we found out they soon wanted to know lol!!

xx

 

[Mrs.s]

Thanks grils

I am so glad its not just me being over senistive! I think i have managed to twist DH arm to find out I feel guilty for doing that but I just have to know!!! lol