Maybe a bit early to start thinking about this but,.. (home birth)

[Alexandra84]

I'm only 6 weeks pregnant so it might be a bit too soon to start thinking about it, but as I am a great believer in advance planning : Is anyone else here thinking of having their baby at home?

It's something I've been thinking about ever since my husband and I decided that we would like to start a family after my PhD. The main reason is that I feel very uncomfortable in hospitals because I had such an awful time there when I was first diagnosed with SLE and later when I kept having chronic appendicitis (although obviously noone knew it was appendicitis at the time!). Last time I was in hospital I got very distressed just before an operation to clean out an infection after my appendicectomy and had what I can only describe as a nervous breakdown. I felt very out of control with all of the antibiotics that they were giving me, the nurses that wouldn't come, the food that I couldn't keep down, and I couldn't stand the thought of being cut open again in the same painfully infected place . It also didn't help that the woman in the bed next to mine started to have breathing difficulties in the middle of the night and was wheeled out saying that she was dying (!)

Sorry for rambling on a bit but the point is that now, hospitals don't have a good effect on me. I just can't relax and I really don't want to be there. Unless there is a very good reason why I should be in hospital (and the fact that I had an SLE flare 8 years ago doesn't count!) I want to be home, with my husband, when the baby comes. The thought of being surrounded by strangers in a strange place where I can hear other women shouting fills me with a deep feeling of foreboding. I'm also unhappy about the possibility of having to spend the first night with my new baby alone (I have read that most hospitals will not let your partner stay with you the night after delivery).

So, is anyone here planning to have their baby at home? How would you go about organising this?

 

[amandapanda]

Hi hun - sorry to say I don't think they let you have your first baby at home! You'll have to ask your midwife if it's possible but I've heard people on here say it's only possible if you've had one normal delivery already with no complications. If it helps a labour ward would be very different from a normal ward, people aren't sick and dying and things are generally very happy and positive - not sure about partner staying, some hospitals are pretty relaxed about it and others more strict xxx

 

[Alexandra84]

Well, I know that they can't force me to go to hospital. The NHS site also doesn't say anything about it being a problem if it's you first baby, they just say to talk to your midwife. I guess I'll just have to talk about it with the people at the Antenatal clinic tomorrow and see what can be done.

 

[cosmicgirl]

My local health trust do not allow home births for first babies. They can't force anyone to go to hospital but they also wouldn't provide a midwife for a home birth if it was against policy. You'd have to check with your local nhs trust hunnie xx

 

[MammaBear]

I don't know for sure, but I don't think they can NOT allow you to have your baby at home. I was born at home (but I'm my Mum's third child) and my Mum was really glad she did it.

Also, one of my best friends is a Dr of chiropractic, so obviously has a very good medical knowledge but doesn't specialise in babies, and she is all for home births, she thinks everyone should do.

On the other hand, my sister is a student midwife in her second year of uni, and she says she personally wouldn't choose a home birth with her first, but if you don't have any complications during pregnancy, there's no reason why not. Of course you'd need to think about the (hopefully unlikely) chance of there being problems during labour, and having to be rushed in anyway, but in a more stressful situation and there not being doctors/consultants/surgeons on and straight away.

I know this doesn't really help you decide one way or the other, but hopefully it'll just give you a bit more info. In my personal opinion, I think labour will be a time when you don't want to be in a situation that makes you feel stressed and more nervous than you might already be, and if hospital does that for you, I understand you not wanting to be there.

 

[treeze]

i don't know about what the nhs will let you do or not but i thought that more recently they were trying to encourage home / natural deliveries.

If it turns out not to be available on the nhs it might be worth looking into a doula? again i don't know too much about this but i know they are there all the way through the labour with you and i think they are midwives too aren't they? I think they cost between £300 and £1000 which i think i would happily try to find the money if it meant i got the birth i wanted -seems well worth it.

If not, what about a brirthing centre rather than a hospital... they have nice cosy rooms with birthing pools, music etc and really promote natural deliveries.

They asked me at my very first booking appoinment where i wanted to give birth (hospital, birthing centre or home) so you are definately right to be thinking about your options now.

My only advice would be to stay completely open-minded about what could happen when the time comes...

all the way through my first pregnancy i wanted a water-birth, NO epidural or pethedine, and i paid for hypno-birthing sessions and cds.... when it came to it i went 7 days over, was induced (which took 3 days to actually get me dilated to 1 cm), had to have my waters broken and go on the syntocin drip in order to actually get the baby out. I had pethedine, gas and air and an epidural!!! It couldn't have been further from my birthplan - the exact opposite actually! Funnily enough this time around my brithplan is to have gas and air and an epidural ASAP and anything else they offer along the way!!! My attitude this time around is be prepared for the worst and for it to take ages and anything else will be a positive.

i don't want to put you off or tell you scare-stories but i just think anyone who is planning a particular birthplan should try to stay open-minded as otherwise it can be very dissapointing if your plan cannot be followed for one reason or another. Even minor complications like raised blood pressure, baby in the wrong position etc might put a stop to particular plans you have and are completely out of your control. On the other hand, stay positive about it because there are plenty plenty of ladies who succeed in the exact labour and delivery they want and are overjoyed when they achieve it.

Good look and let us know what you find out about the home birth. I really hope you find a way to have the birth that you want - i'm sure there must be a way somehow and have a good chat to your midwife when you meet her. Ask about doulas and birthing centres too.. some hospitals now even have a deprtment of the labour ward which they class as a "birthing centre".

take care and good for you for planning ahead and thinking about your options now. let us know what you find out x x x

 

[EmmBee123]

Have read up a lot on this, if you can justify it with a midwife, then there's no reason that they shouldn't allow it. With the problems I had with my local hospital and the fears I have about going there, my midwife suggested the option of a home birth if all goes well through pregnancy.

If you want to have a home birth and have the funds for it, a private independent midwife costs about £3000. Might be an option if your NHS trust won't fund it, but there are websites you can look at with really convincing arguments you can use with your NHS trust if they "won't let" (although they can't stop you) having a home birth, look at http://www.aims.org.uk for advice if needed.

The problem with first time births is that they are so unpredictable, and midwifes need to have far more experience than other areas. Nobody can force you to have a baby in a hospital, they just can't guarantee that a midwife will be available, however, after reading up on this, you can pretty much calmly demand that a midwife comes to you if a home birth is what you really want.

There's evidence that planned home births are less complicated and cheaper than planned hospital births, the problem is that the NHS have dramatically underfunded maternity services for so long. Hospitals are meant to provide one to one care, but they tend to end up one to ten or twenty at times, a planned home birth means you have the same midwife all the way through.

 

[EmmBee123]

treeze, most doulas are not trained midwives and their code of conduct would not allow them to participate in the medical side of labour.

 

[Alexandra84]

Thanks everyone. EmmBee123, that's pretty much my impression of the situation as well. I have my first appointment at the antenatal clinic in an hour so maybe we'll get to talk about it.

The good news is that both my husband and my consultant (who looks after my SLE) are really supportive of the idea and, if anything, whe do have the savings to hire an independent midwife. I'm also not completely rigid about my plans: if there are complications and my pregnancy is not straight forward (ie. there is something wrong that will need mdical intervention) then I'm more than happy to go to hospital and make the best of it, but not if everything looks fine. We also live 20, traffic free minutes away from a large maternity unit, which is nice to know for emergencies.

So finger crossed. I'll let everyone know how it went.

 

[Alexandra84]

Well, that went very well. I had a booking appointment at the hospital and they took blood for tests and scheduled a scan at 8 weeks to check that everything's there and developing nicely. I mentioned to the midwife doing the booking that if all is well I would like to have a home birth (and that my consultant supports this) and she seemed really pleased for me and said that she thought that it was lovely .

The hospital is going to write to my GP and local midwife and organise for me to see and get to know her as she will still be doing my standard blood pressure checks etc. So let's see how she reacts...

PS - I found out that my blood pressure is 100/60! Probably one of my lowest measurements yet (I do exercise regularly though) .

 

[Cazza]

Hey Alexandra!!

I have SLE too, diagnosed about 15 years ago, with an RA/Raynauds overlap!

When I saw the MW recently (MMC) she was horrified that I'd consider a home birth and insisted that I consider C section or epidural, but then again I'm probably much older than you !!!

So pleased you have supportive medical people around you!

 

[EmmBee123]

Glad it all went well Alexandra! Fx for a trouble free pregnancy and a nice relaxed home birth!

 

[Alexandra84]

Hey Alexandra!!

I have SLE too, diagnosed about 15 years ago, with an RA/Raynauds overlap!

When I saw the MW recently (MMC) she was horrified that I'd consider a home birth and insisted that I consider C section or epidural, but then again I'm probably much older than you !!!

So pleased you have supportive medical people around you!

You know, that really sounds a bit strange to me. My consultant team have always said that since lupus is partly a connective tissue disorder, SLE patients are at a higher risk of post-operative complications such as blood clots, adhesions and chronic pain. So I have always been told to avoid unnecessary surgery. Even when I had appendicitis they decided to try treating it with antibiotics first (rather than just going in and removing it). When it turned out that I would need an operation after all, I was given a CAT scan first(!) to make absolutely sure that it was my appendix they were after and that they knew where it was, to avoid any unnecessary incisions.

So, given that history of advice I think that they would never recommend that I go for a cesarian section unless there was a really good medical reason for it. I wonder whether the MW has much experience with pregnancy and birth in SLE patients? There's not that many of us...

I still haven't seen the Comminity MW but I think they'll be in touch soon (the hospital will write to my GP asking them to arrange an appointment) so I'll see what her reaction will be. If she's against it though she may find that I'm quite a stubborn character . I have the perfect place for birthing as well, my study, with it's comfy sofa, en suite, lots of floor space, and surrounded by my stuff .

 

[Bella2]

hey hon no personal experience of home births but a family friend had a home birth with her first baby, bought one of those birthing pools and had it in the living room! She said it was a lovely experience so best of luck with your planning x x

 

[EmmBee123]

At my Booking Appintment, midwife asked where I wanted to have baby, was honest and said home, but only if I can guarantee that if complications arrise, I shan't be sent to the hospital I'm petrified of. She said they wouldn't, and I could go to whichever hospital I wanted. So, am booked for a home birth if I still want one, although she is arranging a tour of the Midwife led unit for me so I can make an informed decision!

She didn't bat an eyelid when I said I wanted a home birth, even though I'm a first timer.