Maternity Leave

[MissKW]

How much maternity leave is reasonable, especially when breastfeeding?
I teach gymnastics and it involves supporting children from 4-16years old, lifting them and throwing them around apparatus etc. There is also a lot of bending down, sitting and getting up involved when teaching the younger children.
I am 30weeks now and starting to struggle so have been given permission to take it easy and just work on basics with them so I dont have to do much, which is fine.
I have decided to stay at work as long as I can, mainly because I need to for the extra money. However I am having issues on deciding when to go back. My older sister is one of the top dogs along side my boss, she wants an exact day as to when I will be back and I simply don't know. This is my first baby, I have no idea what to expect or how long its going to take to recover, I also don't know when I will be happy leaving him with somebody else whilst I am working.
I have spoken to a few people including my mum as she is the most experienced mother I know and she was telling me I should go back at 6 weeks pp if I wanted to keep my job...... I think that is extremely short time and simply not fair to myself or my baby! I know most women around me including friends (2 of which are currently pregnant) are having a full year off!! I don't expect to have a year as I wont be able to afford it and I will most likely get bored of being in the house etc.
I was thinking a minimum of 12 weeks, maybe up to 6months if I am lucky but I am being pressured by family and work into going back as soon as possible and don't want to piss people off or potentially loose my job and I'm stressing as I just want what's best for my little boy and really don't want to miss the early stages. I want to breastfeed for the first 6 months if I'm able to and going back to work early will most likely mean I have to stop early as I'm pretty sure i wont have the time to express the amount he will need whilst in somebody else's care. My work hours are supposed to be increasing when I go back also, which will leave very little time with everything else that needs tending to during the day.
What would you recommend as a reasonable time to have off? Should I just put my foot down and give them a date I am happy with or rush going back in fear of loosing my job or the hours I need?
Thanks ladies

 

[Shepherdess]

you are entitled to take a year off! that doesn't always work for everyone as SMP stops at 39 weeks

are you entitled to SMP?

for some people breastfeeding isn't entirely established by 6 weeks so it might be tough for you. ignore your sister, you're entitled to take time off an enjoy your baby. no way I'd be returning to work at 6 weeks. they can't sack you for taking the time off

 

[Loula]

What if you had to have a c section that's up to 6 week recovery time.

Take off whatever you feel is right for you. If you want a few months off then so be it do it. It's such a precious time, enjoy it x

 

[HS1985]

That's shocking pressure, especially from family members. I'm really annoyed on your behalf. Like Loula says, a C-section is a 6 week recovery anyway so it sounds like if that happens you wouldn't be able to do your job anyway!
This is your baby and your life. Work can't pressure you like that or penalise regarding hours or loss of job for you wanting to take your (perfectly legal) entitled maternity leave - maternity pay is obviously slightly different. Talk about this with your partner, figure out what is best you and your family. Especially if this is your first. My dream is to take the full year but reality tells me we may not be able to cope with 3 months unpaid at the end but I'm working with my company regarding flexibility on return dates and paid contact days to get the best result.
Family or not, please take professional advice on the pressure you are feeling. Your employer just can't do that. Good luck xx

 

[KHTW]

wow wow wow and once again WOW! Are you sure you guys are related?! Shocking pressure.

6 weeks is nothing... it will fly by before you know it. I'd say 6 months is a minimum you want to take. But what about your SMP, are you not entitled? Or is the money simply not enough (we all know SMP is rubbish). If it is about the money than I guess you have little choice but to leave your baby and go back to work but if this is not about the money than STAY with your baby as long as you want, they are little only once and not for long!! x

 

[GBLiz]

wow i'm amazed they have let you continue to coach pregnant. I was coaching gym when i last fell pregnant and as soon as i told them they said i musnt support anymore as you can easily get kicked in the stomach! Most maternity leave is 6 months to a year. I've never heard of anyone going back to work at 6 weeks!!

 

[MissKW]

Thankyou for all your input so far!
I unfortunately am not entitled to SMP as I work 2 part time jobs, both of which don't pay enough to be entitled. I only started coaching there early last year and was promised more hours as soon as I did my qualifications. However I fell pregnant before I finished them (I did finish and do have them) so they decided there was no point in giving me the hours if I was going to be off on maternity soon, so I still have little hours until I go back afterwards. My plan was to quit my other job and just do as many hours as I could here, but because that hasn't happened yet I'm not entitled to anything from either job.
Luckily my husband has a decent career and earns enough for us both but we are in very tight circumstances now as we have had to finance a new car recently and with that and a new baby as well as other unexpected expenses minus my wages we will be really struggling.

I have tried looking into rights etc but I don't really understand everything, and my dad has been telling me how there's always a way around these things for employers if they have replaced you or don't want you back because of unreliability due to new children etc. And to be honest everything he said made sense.
I'm not sure if my mum is so eager for me to go back to work as it will mean she gets a lot more time to babysit as it will most likely end up being her looking after him whilst im working, as she's always been completely obsessed with babies and bugs me a lot as it is. But I'm not going to be happy as it would actually mean that she gets more time with him than myself or my husband do!
I keep thinking maybe I should put my foot down and if they replace me then they replace me, and I will just have to find other work but it would be really inconvenient.
My sister is all work and has no concept or liking for babies so she doesn't really care or understand I don't think, she's simply thinking of me as a person that's not going to be there doing a job that I should be doing.
I am very annoyed by the whole situation as I would really like to be a 'proper' mum and be there with him as long as I can, but I also need to help my partner support us financially now.
I will have another talk with my hubby and see if we can come up with anything. As mentioned before if I go back too early I may not be able to do my job anyway, so I will mention that to my sister as its a good point I didn't think of before!
Thanks again

 

[kanga86]

I'm sure you should be able to apply for maternity allowance from the job centre, worth looking into.

I have had 3 babies and the earliest I went back was 7 months. I think your family are unreasonable to expect you to go back after 6 weeks. Childbirth and caring for a newborn is a major thing to do without rushing back into a physical job xx

Sent from my SM-G920F using Tapatalk

 

[GBLiz]

you may be entitled to Maternity Allowance if not SMP from your employer

 

[ruby2015]

I’m a freelancer (mixture of PAYE and self-employed) and I had maternity allowance, which I’m pretty sure you would also be entitled to. They are incredibly helpful on the phone if you’re not sure- I was surprised at how good the customer service was! Like you I thought I’d go back to work very early (for me it was about maintaining my contacts so I didn’t lose all my work) and planned to do a job after 4 weeks. However it really didn’t work out that way and I ended up cancelling loads of stuff or really struggling with each job and wishing I was at home. Look up the 4th trimester- basically your baby really needs you for the first few months, and you will resent anything that takes you away unless it’s something you really want to do. I’m sorry you’re under so much pressure- it sounds very unfair. Put your own and your baby’s welfare first and only go back to work when you’re ready- definitely don’t be pinned down to a certain date. Best of luck!

 

[JemRose]

Definitely go to citizen's advice. You have rights as a pregnant employee and you still have rights even if you don't qualify for maternity leave. They can't discriminate against you because you are pregnant and they can't sack you for not going back after 6 weeks. You're entitled to 52 weeks off without discrimination.

Try this calculator on the government website to calculate how much leave you're entitled to and what pay you're entitled to: https://www.gov.uk/pay-leave-for-parents

Hope you manage to sort it, what a horrible situation for you. Just remember to think of you and baby, that's what is most important. Jobs can come and go but your health and your baby is for life xx