Long-term breastfeeding, help! reaching breaking point

[clarey]

Eva is 8 1/2 months and still having about 5/6 breastfeeds a day, including 2 in the night.
The last few days I have been feeling rubbish and wondering if I am reaching a point where I should stop breastfeeding before I start resenting it
I am fed up of expressing , breast pads, horrid nursing bra, having no sleep cos I am the one she needs, flashing my nips cos she wont stay on while feeding in public (too blimmin nosey) the whole thing really, which makes me feel terribly guilty because I know its best for her, convenient, free, and so many people would love to be in my position
In my heart I dont want to stop but I am feeling really down about it at the moment...

Is it normal to feel so fed up and run down, should I be taking a vitamin supplement or something? Can I just take a normal multivit? I eat healthily but not a huge amount and wonder if I can do anything to help myself? Or is this just how you feel after growing a baby for the last 17 months??? She is sapping my life force I am just soooooo tired!

HELP!

 

[maybebaby]

First of all HUGE congratulations for getting so far! It's a fantastic achievement and you should feel really proud of yourself

Have you tried to drop the night feeds at all? I started giving ds water in a beaker when he woke in the night from about 8-9 months and after a few nights he just stopped asking for milk. That'll take some of the pressure off and if you're sleeping better you may find it easier during the day.

I stopped expressing at 6 months and supplemented with formula when I was at work (had been exclusively BM up to then) because I was starting to feel really resentful about expressing so much and it was affecting my attitude to breastfeeding.

Also maybe try swapping one of her daytime feeds to a food snack like a rice cake or fruit and some water instead? Again it may take some of the pressure off and make you feel a bit more positive about feeding.

Treat yourself to a new bra if you can, it sounds silly but it may be a little boost that makes you feel better and a bit more feminine?

Lastly, don't feel guilty for feeling like you do. It is really hard work and takes a lot of effort so of course you're tired Hope you're feeling better soon

 

[charlie84]

This breastfeeding malarky is so hard isnt it hun, and you are doing so great especially feeding twice in the night too. Does she have huge feeds in the night or do you think it may be more of a comfort thing?
I can understand you completely when it comes to getting sick and tired of constantly wearing nursing bras and pads, i am absolutely itching to get back into a lovely pretty underwired bra that gives me the support i miss.

Dont feel guilty hun its normal to feel like this. I have certainly had many ups and downs when it comes to breastfeeding.
As for the tiredness I take a multivitamin just to make sure i am getting what i need to keep me going, so maybe look into taking something like that.

Can i ask why you express? And if its not essential then maybe stop and give yourself a break.

 

[purple13]

hope those helped a bit

sorry you're struggling so much hon... i'm not really sure what to recommend, other than it sounds like you need a bit of 'you' time. you've done amazingly to bf for so long - noone would blink if you decided you didn't want to continue... but i don't know if your life would be made any easier by stopping bf-ing? will you sleep through her eva's crying at night whilst your OH gives her a bottle? i only ask cos i know my OH is so used to me dealing with everything at night time, connor could scream and he wouldn't wake up...

what feeds are you expressing for? i've stopped that now - i don't leave connor very often, but when i do he just drinks water and eats solids. i always leave emergency formula, but he won't take it and is happy to wait until i get home (i was out from 9am-5pm on saturday, then from 9pm-1.30am on saturday night). would eva do something similar to give you some time out to do your own thing, without the expressing hassle?

do you still leak? i've found that i barely leak at all these days so have ditched the breast pads and just carry a tiny cardi in the bottom of my change bag or in the car in case i leak by accident (i haven't yet...!). i'm with you on nursing bras though but i've bought a wonderbra in my new 36D size to wear on the occasional night out, and that makes up for it - you should have seen OH's face when he saw me in it, he hadn't realised what i'd been hiding in those ikky nursing bras 8)

i take pregnancy vitamins still... and you definitely need to eat more. it could well be the reason you're feeling so tired - bfing takes a lot (nutritionally) from us, and you need to ensure that you're getting enough to sustain you too. i recommend flapjacks in large quantities

it sounds to me like you really need a 'you' day. can you leave eva with your OH/parents/in-laws/friends and go and do something relaxing? go swimming, for a walk, or even go to bed on your own for a few hours? maybe if you had a day off, you could decide then with a clear head whether to give up bf-ing?

do what feels right for you honey xx

 

[clarey]

Thanks girls, Im just feeling sorry for myself!

I think I have just got in a bit of a rut, I will start with getting some multivits today and see about a new bra, it actually would make a huge difference I think Lol Purple at your OH and the wonderbra
Unfortunately I do still get the occasional leak especially on days when Eva eats well so I guess takes less milk so I dont quite want to give up on the breast pads yet
I have been expressing for one bottle a day since week 4 as Eva was reflux-y and I found it easier to give her a good dose of gaviscon in her bedtime bottle and I guess its just become habit, also it allows me to get on with something else or go out in the evening if there is a bottle to hand - LOl actually I usually end up giving her that as well anyway so maybe I could drop that and just express in advance when I know I will need to leave her. Or get some emergency formula in. Dont reckon I would sleep through if OH got up for her in the night anyway, would probably lay there listening to what he was doing! She does have what I would consider a full feed in the night but, yes its probably partly down to habit, mine as well as hers - disiplined thoughts go out the window at 3 am when I just want to get back to bed so give in and give her boob!

I think I will book a hair cut for Saturday when OH can have Eva, you are right I probably just need a bit of non-baby related time, thanks for your kindness ladies

 

[valentine]

Hey Clarey,

I can't add anything to the fantastic advice you have received above, but I just wanted to say a personal well done on your achievement to date - you really are an amazing lady and have given your daughter a wonderful special start in life.

It sounds like you do need some time to yourself and to reflect and some money to spend on yourself too!

Keep us updated with your decision, we'll support you all the way.

Valentine Xxx

 

[mum's the word]

I felt like giving up regularly, I kept going for 13 months tho, maybe would have gone longer if I wasn't p/g.
Dropping the night feeds and stopping your milk being used as comfort unless absolutely necessary would be a huge help and solve the leaking issue too.
From 6 months Ricky had 3 feeds at the same time every day, I never expressed as I didn't master getting him to take a bottle.
It seems like you're not quite ready to stop breastfeeding, and you do miss it when you stop before you're ready.
perhaps it's time to regain control over the feeds, 3 meals and 3 feeds will be plenty enough and dropping the night feeding brings huge relief and a much-needed break.

 

[Squiglet]

I felt the same around 8 months... It was just so draining... Then all of a sudden at 9 months lil miss started going longer during the night and it became easier. Its still hard... like I worked the 12 - 5 shift today had to drive for an hour either side but lil miss had gotten up at 11, 12, 1am, 3 and then fussed until 7:30 when I had to get up so I was truly knackered all day

DH doesn't do the night shifts ... never has so its extra hard because then I'm expressing all day too.. for when I'm working. You have to keep on top of yourself in terms of food and drink

Tbh I really am not ready to give up yet... although I would LOVE to have maybe an evening to myself. But for now... I just keep going because I know that 2 years in a baby's life just zips by... so this time I am making the most of it..

 

[clarey]

Hi, thanks for your replies, i really appreciate the encouragment, my OH is great but he doesnt really know!
I am feeling a bit better about it all today, I am getting my hair cut tomorrow (OH paying ) so have a few hours to myself which will probably make all the difference. I love Eva to bits and cant imagine life without her but it is hard work and I dont think either of us are quite ready to give up the booby feeding yet so i won rush into anything.
Thanks ladies

 

[charlie84]

Aww glad you are feeling more positive today hun

 

[Clydesdaleclopper]

Get yourself one of these girl http://www.hotmilklingerie.co.nz/europe no more saggy nursing bras

 

[clarey]

Oooooohhh pretty! Might see if Santa can help me out there....