Leaving her for the first time

[abcd1234]

I'm being a total over protective mummy!!!

I have to leave Tally next monday and friday whilst i do my exams and i'm actually having mini panicing sessions about it!! I've contemplated not taking the exams but i know i have to face it, i'm worried i'm not going to manage to go to uni next year as i dont trust any nurseries and i think by the time i know what i want only the rubbish ones will be available.

It's silly and irrational, i know that, i'll be leaving her with her nan and with Dave so i know i can trust them but i hate the thought that she might be crying and i wont be able to sort her and not knowing how she is.

How the hell do i get over this?? Dave doesnt seem to understand at all, it's not a minor thing it's a genuine fear to the point where if i do leave her i may just spent the entire exam worrying about her. I know it sounds almost cocky but because i've spent 24/7 with her since she was born i dont believe that anyone else can look after her like i do, they wont instinctively know why shes upset and how to settle her!

Please tell me i'm not alone in this. And when did everyone leave their LO's for the first time?? It's really bothering me now

 

[LisaJ1986]

You're not alone. I haven't left Angel yet just for the reason that i don't think she'll settle for anyone else. I was invited out last weekend and OH told me to express and get my dad to look after her for a couple of hours but i refused. She won't take bottles anyway!

 

[BabyMagic]

You're definitely not alone! I do leave LO with my OH occassionally though but everytime I am rushing back from my appointment, only to find that she is having great time with her daddy...

 

[laracomps]

I only left Phoebe for the first time 2 weeks ago - I went to Asda for 1 hour lol.

I couldn't bear to leave her for longer than that. I have no idea how I'm gonna go back to work

 

[charlie84]

The only time i have ever left Calleigh is to quickly pop to the shops and to wash the car. Never longer than an hour and have only ever left her with OH with strict instructions to call me if she needs me.
I dont think i could trust anyone else with her well maybe my mum but couldnt anyway as she will only take boobie milk from the source

 

[Sherlock]

I left Galen with my mother a while back and had an evening out. 5.5 hours I was gone. My way of dealing with it as I was like you and feeling it was to do the following

1) Talked through all the little things. Galen's habits, his toy likes, feeding, bedtime and so on. Even though my Mum has looked after him plenty of times I'd not left him for longer than a couple of hours till this point. Other times she has been here and spent time with him, I've been here also. I told her to let me say it all as if I didn't I'd worry the whole time I was gone. Getting it all out of my system to her made me feel better. I also knew she would do as I do in her care for him. She took it all on board and said she knew I was worried and that if she had any concerns for him health wise she would not hesitate to call 999 and so on. Knowing that I was reassured.

2) I gave her my mobile number and told her I would turn the sound down but leave it on vibrate. If there was a problem to call me and then hang up and I would call her back as soon as I had snuck out of the cinema. I know you may not be able to do the same for your exam but as there will be two of them looking after her perhaps they can send texts so that as soon as you are done with your exam you can check and see that things are fine. Remember if its a real emergency they can call and have someone come get you from your exam. Know those things are in place and if you don't hear anything then its ok

3) Work in small chunks of time for yourself. Don't keep clock watching. Just let time pass and try to relax about things and focus on what is in front of you. I told myself that he was happy and content when I left and would be when I got home. And he was. And I got huge smiles the next morning when he woke

 

[clarey]

It is hard and pretty weird going out without them...I go to my pilates class once a week for an hour or so and she is always fine even though I am looking in the back of the car for her all the way there and back! Even though noone else will look after her exactly the way you would, they WILL manage and she will be fine. I kinda think Eva enjoys being with her Daddy or Granny, she must get a bit bored with me all day every day, they probably do different things with her so it broadens her experiences a bit too. Good luck for your exams, think how proud she will be of her Mummy once you get them.

 

[CoreysMummy]

I always felt that no one would do as good a job as me!! You know what its like, Mummys best!

I am only happy leaving him with my mum, as I know she sticks to routine, and sees him so much she knows what he likes etc, and she can gennerally feed him, she knows he screams through it sometimes (reflux) and she knows he needs the food in him. Where as OH parents just go... oh well he wasnt hungry, I coudnt get him to take it etc etc - so I WONT leave him with either of them anymore as my child would not eat!! My mum actually had Corey for the weekend, I called what seemed like every hour, and he had a whale of a time, eat all of his bottles, played, slept and even poop'd when he should do!!

Leaving him has been made easyer by the fact he screamed and cryed for the 1st 8 weeks of his life - I had to get away,I couldnt take him to tesco, I couldnt do ANYTHING so if I needed bread, I had to get my mum to sit with him.. so I got used to it. Its still not easy, and now hes a happy bunny 99% of the time (Thank god for reflux medicaion), i really HATE leaving him, as it seems like iv missed out on the 1st 2 months anyway, and I dont want to miss anything!! I dont know how im going to be able to go to work...

Your not alone hun, im sure none of us would leave our LO's unless we needed to!

 

[annaespana1]

me too, I had to leave Rafa when he was 2 weeks old to go back to Scotland for my dads funeral- the plane journey was awful I kept on visioning a horrible crash and never seeing him again! Now I never leave him but he starts nursery in September so I need to get over it!
Good luck in your exams- try to remember doing your exams is for your wee one's future- leaving them is hard but I am sure it will work out

 

[Suzie and Faith]

I left Fi with my mum for half hour when she was a couple of weeks old (so i could pop to boots) I HATED it and called her 3 times! (Fi slept the whole time!).

Then my MIL looked after her for 2 hours one morning and the on a different day for 5.5 hours in the evening. I had an essay due in and hadn't had enough time to do it. I hated having her gone but at the same time it was a slight relief - made me able to cope better!

Now though, now my PND is a bit better i couldn't leave her! I won't now as i know how to make her ok! So i know exactly how you feel

sorry, just realised my post was no use!

but good luck hun xxxxxx

 

[keli]

I feel excatly the same good luck for your exam xx

 

[muppetmummy]

I still haven't left Logan, I even take him across the road to the shops with me
MIL keeps offering to babysit but I'm not ready to leave him, even though the idea of a night out is starting to sound appealing.

 

[sparky]

I had to leave Isla when she was only 9 days old to go to the hospital for a quick check up on me as the /MW had some concerns, I didnt want to take her in as the hospital was filthy and she was prem and thought we could nip in between feeds....it was horrible all i could hear were the other babies crying and after being kept waiting for 2 hours i collected all my notes from them and left...just couldnt be apart from her any longer. MIL told me i was being stupid

 

[mrs_tommo22]

I was scared the first time i left Imogen and in the whole year have only left her once. Its human to feel like that.