The only stress in our lives is his soddin' family. I hate them!! I've finally got to accepting my little boy not being here isn't my fault and his bloody sister phoned me this morning making me feel pathetic and that it was my fault again. Not to mention the long standing 'who gives a sh!t if it never really happened though!' (they're all standing by the because my Billie wasn't medically classed as a birth but a miscarriage, he doesn't matter) I just want to go and live on the moon. I'm not allowed to grieve my boy and I'm definately not allowed to get excited about any children I might be lucky enough to have until their born or they'll make my life hell.
Hate the age of technology making it constantly possible to harass people =/
I had a friend say about a month after my second miscarriage, "It's not like it was really a baby any way ." WTF! I almost punched her. I also had a lot of people say just remember you have the other two so you know you can have kids just make focus on looking after them. I felt like screaming "yes I could 5 years ago but now I'm not so sure and it scares the shit out of me!" then that makes me feel bad because it looks like I neglecting my other two so I'm hit again.
The problem is MC is one of those things. Until you have experienced it yourself you can't possibly understand the pain, the sadness or the fear that you never may experience that which you long for so much.