Noor~ul~Usman
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- Jun 10, 2007
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I wasn't sure where to put this but seeing as how I'm only in the first trimester I thought the other ladies in here would be sharing the same high hormone levels and emotions as me
We'll to start with I'd just like to point out that I'm not cussing my beliefs I just feel a bit stretched and apprehensive at the moment cause I'm always feeling down lately.
Me and my husband are actually muslim, but I've been a normal western girl nearly all my life I only changed around 2years ago.... so sometimes I feel it's helpful to just chat to other people who only have their own moral values to guide them.
We'll I've been reading about all you poor ladies who's fellas have left you or asked for abortions...and man am I pleased that this kind of thing isn't allowed to happen to us and is something I'll never have to worry about When you get married that's it...it's for life! Divorce is a very serious business so you only do it if you can honestly say you'd rather be dead than with them. And there's no "boom-boom" allowed before marriage so all kids are garunteed a family to be part of.
But then the rest of what you've been saying...about partners doing 50/50 has been getting to me lately. I was already feeling down it's just extra...
You see the deal is the guy deals with providing the house and all the household finances, so the woman can stay at home and look after everything to do with the inside of the house. The men often do 2 jobs back to back over here to pay the extorionate costs of living, so they are really tired and need to know their wives have a nice clean house and some good food to go home to when they finally get off work. The woman is perfetly capble of working herself too but this is on the grounds that she can still find time to do the work at home. (There's multiple reasons for this but turst me it's about protecting their wives and if everyones wife in an area doesn't work then they pretty much chill out together all day long with friends lol)
But when it comes to child raising it's all the womans responsability...
And that'd be fine in a normal family situation, cause when they get married the woman moves in with the guy and his family, so grandma and grandpa are living with you already while hubbies out at work and you might have other brother and sister in laws as well (that'll explain to a few of you why the houses are so full! LOL!! ) so basically all the women living with you will give you a hand.
But in our case it's just the two of us in laws are all abroad and neither of us can stand my mum to go and live next to her down south.
So what's dounting me at the moment is that I'm gona have to cook and clean and raise a baby practically all by myself while my husbands out working double shifts to look after us and i only have one best mate in the area who was recently in the same situation as me but now her in laws have made friends and offer to take the kids every now and then so she can get stuff done.
Personally I feel she's a stronger person than me as well and I just have no idea how I'm going to be 'superwoman' and do all this. I'm only in my 1st trimester and I'm dying from back ache and tiredness as it is.
We'll to start with I'd just like to point out that I'm not cussing my beliefs I just feel a bit stretched and apprehensive at the moment cause I'm always feeling down lately.
Me and my husband are actually muslim, but I've been a normal western girl nearly all my life I only changed around 2years ago.... so sometimes I feel it's helpful to just chat to other people who only have their own moral values to guide them.
We'll I've been reading about all you poor ladies who's fellas have left you or asked for abortions...and man am I pleased that this kind of thing isn't allowed to happen to us and is something I'll never have to worry about When you get married that's it...it's for life! Divorce is a very serious business so you only do it if you can honestly say you'd rather be dead than with them. And there's no "boom-boom" allowed before marriage so all kids are garunteed a family to be part of.
But then the rest of what you've been saying...about partners doing 50/50 has been getting to me lately. I was already feeling down it's just extra...
You see the deal is the guy deals with providing the house and all the household finances, so the woman can stay at home and look after everything to do with the inside of the house. The men often do 2 jobs back to back over here to pay the extorionate costs of living, so they are really tired and need to know their wives have a nice clean house and some good food to go home to when they finally get off work. The woman is perfetly capble of working herself too but this is on the grounds that she can still find time to do the work at home. (There's multiple reasons for this but turst me it's about protecting their wives and if everyones wife in an area doesn't work then they pretty much chill out together all day long with friends lol)
But when it comes to child raising it's all the womans responsability...
And that'd be fine in a normal family situation, cause when they get married the woman moves in with the guy and his family, so grandma and grandpa are living with you already while hubbies out at work and you might have other brother and sister in laws as well (that'll explain to a few of you why the houses are so full! LOL!! ) so basically all the women living with you will give you a hand.
But in our case it's just the two of us in laws are all abroad and neither of us can stand my mum to go and live next to her down south.
So what's dounting me at the moment is that I'm gona have to cook and clean and raise a baby practically all by myself while my husbands out working double shifts to look after us and i only have one best mate in the area who was recently in the same situation as me but now her in laws have made friends and offer to take the kids every now and then so she can get stuff done.
Personally I feel she's a stronger person than me as well and I just have no idea how I'm going to be 'superwoman' and do all this. I'm only in my 1st trimester and I'm dying from back ache and tiredness as it is.