Just saying goodbye for now (long one)

[jenna]

Hello,
Just thought id let people know that I think I had a m/c. Tested the other day because id lost my symptoms and it was negative. I’m really upset but I’ll be ok. Probably wont be posting much on here anymore. I’ll still check on every one from time to time though. I just don’t think it’s a good time for me and DH to try for a baby anymore. We don’t have anywhere to live and its becoming closer and closer to our contract running out. We cant really afford the rent anyway but only going along with it to get our £500 deposit back.
Had a really big argument last night about tattoo’s (I know its really petty). DH had his ex’s name tattooed on his leg and took him years to get it covered up even when he’d met me and married me!!! We were basically messing about and he promised he would get something done that id drawn then said last night that he wouldn’t. He said that he was going to do it to make me happy but he “ just didn’t think about it”. It seems to be his excuse for everything. I really wanted a tattoo but he didn’t like it and I just felt like he was telling me I couldn’t have it rather than him just sharing his view on it, I don’t like his but I know he does so its his choice, but he doesn’t seem to understand that?!!? I know its petty but its other stuff too…we were married for about 6months before I got a bank account with him…I was never given any money or bought anything for myself (I didn’t have a job at the time but he was working) I had to borrow money off my mum to buy him an Xmas present, but this year when I was working and he wasn’t he took loads of money out and spent it and didn’t seem to care that id worked my arse off to get it. I’m not bothered about sharing I just felt like he should have treat me like that the year before.
His family just do my head in, I feel like if we had a kid they’d “take over” if we visited. They just make everything so complicated! He just tries to please them all the time and they just look down there noses at us. Just got really angry last night and let it all out. His dad employs strangers and pays them a LOT and sits back and watches his own son struggle to make ends meet? I’m sorry but there’s no way id EVER be able to do that. GRR they make me so angry, the worst thing is DH is always upset that he hardly sees them, they never call him, there really well off and txt him and ask him to call them. There’s no reason for it other than we have to pay for the call. I know its his parents and id probably be the same if mine were like that but it seems to be affecting everything. His dad said something about me when DH went for a few drinks with him, then when they got home his dad asked to look at my piercings and said “see I told you”…I know he said something nasty but DH keeps saying “I don’t remember so it cant have been anything bad”.
I know it was a long time ago, but it just keeps playing on my mind.
Everything seems so unstable and scary all of a sudden and I don’t think it’s a good situation to bring a kid into, it’d just add to the stress and worry of everything.


Good luck, i hope you all get your BFP's

 

[smurf]

Aw Jenna I am so very sorry for your loss. I really hope things with your DH settle down soon and you can get back to ttcing. Take care of yourself hun x

 

[tots hope]

Sorry to hear all that is going on - really wish you all the best

Big hugs to you

 

[susie]

Jenna i'm so sorry to hear of your miscarriage hope things can start to get back on track with dh but all the stress of the m/c and the last week or so can't be helping, good luck and take care

sue xx

 

[Valley Girl]

I'm so so sorry to hear your horrible news.

Sometimes the strain and stress of difficult times make living with someone really hard; try not to lose sight of the good things and keep a realistic approach to why these things flare up between you. It must be hell for both of you and I know that my partner and I always take it out on each other, not intentionally.

I hope you get some time to clear your head and start to feel better soon.



( I was jandvhunt previously but decided to change my name)

 

[Lyn_no3]

i'm really sorry about your loss Jenna

me n OH went thru a similar patch in our marriage not so long ago, not really sure where it came from or how or where it went but we're really great again now, i hope you and OH are ok too i think its pretty normal to have ups n downs.

take some time out for yourself and rest and relax as much as poss

 

[happy-chick]

Aww Jenna im so sorry for your loss, I hope that you and DH get things sorted soon.

Your hormones and emotions will be all over the place hun, you will be feeling totally out of control at the moment but you will get through this.

Lots of love and hugs, if u wanna talk im here hun xxxxxx

 

[mrsT]

Aww hunny
Massive hugs for you. Hope it all works out - we are all here if you need to have a good rant.
I reckon men are pre-disposed to being A-holes sometimes (ok most of the time)
Fingers crossed you make it through ok.

Load of love to you hunny.
xx

 

[Minxy]

I don't visit TTC much but have been following your journey. I hope life gets better for you and things happen when you're feeling stronger. Take care xxxxx

 

[Valley Girl]

Is it me or do they get worse when you really need them?? When I'm down and out my other half can't really cope and gets all stressy! He doesn't mean to, but I think they don't know how to deal with us being so down.

 

[jenna]

Is it me or do they get worse when you really need them?? When I'm down and out my other half can't really cope and gets all stressy! He doesn't mean to, but I think they don't know how to deal with us being so down.

Yeah lol, i think they are worse when we need help/support. But i also think when im down i tend to think about the bad stuff more than the good too. I was ok at first then we started talking the damn tattoo i was getting then he just said he wasnt going to go along with the promise anymore and it got me really angry, especially when he got his ex's name done as a suprise for her and then wont even give me a chance to draw one for him. I was up all night going on and on about it. I feel bad but at the end of the day he shouldnt have promised!!
He said he finds it hard to be strong for me when im upset because he gets upset too... He's a star deep down but just says things with out thinking and its really upsetting some of the things he says and does some times.

 

[happy-chick]

Is it me or do they get worse when you really need them?? When I'm down and out my other half can't really cope and gets all stressy! He doesn't mean to, but I think they don't know how to deal with us being so down.

Yeah lol, i think they are worse when we need help/support. But i also think when im down i tend to think about the bad stuff more than the good too. I was ok at first then we started talking the damn tattoo i was getting then he just said he wasnt going to go along with the promise anymore and it got me really angry, especially when he got his ex's name done as a suprise for her and then wont even give me a chance to draw one for him. I was up all night going on and on about it. I feel bad but at the end of the day he shouldnt have promised!!
He said he finds it hard to be strong for me when im upset because he gets upset too... He's a star deep down but just says things with out thinking and its really upsetting some of the things he says and does some times.

My DF is exactly the same, his hearts in the right place but doesnt know how to handle it when im down/depressed. Its usually partly because without even realising it I make it hard for him to do anything right!

Im sure he doesnt like u hurt because of the m/c and cant see how to support you.

The tattoo thing i'd be p*ssed off too hun, men!!

 

[xJodieLoux]

Aww hun

Really hope you and DH sort things out soon, everything will be ok

Men just dont know how to cope. When I had my m/c my OH said he was leaving me and he was shouting at me because I was crying, things were quite bad for a couple of months TBH but we were still TTCing. I think we both knew it was just stress and emotions flying about the place.

 

[Snuggle]

Very sorry for your loss Jenna

Hope everything works out for you

 

[SarahB]

I'm so sorry for your loss Jenna
I really hope things work out for you and your DH

 

[Little miss pink]

Jenna i don't know what to say apart from i'm so so sorry your going through all this crap right now.

If you ever fancy just blowing off some steam by writing about it etc or just getting it all of your chest then just PM me anytime!!!!!!!!

Whenever you feel up to it please come back and let us all know how your getting on because like me, i know everyone on here will be thinking about you!!!!!

Take care of yourself!

 

[jenna]

If you ever fancy just blowing off some steam by writing about it etc or just getting it all of your chest then just PM me anytime!!!!!!!!

Thanks hun.

Your all really great and im very grateful for the support iv got from every one. Hopefully i'll be back in a few months. I'll be readin through all the post while im at work but wont have the internet at home for much longer. Kinda felt really releved and happier when i got my BFP not only because i was pregnant (which is what i wanted) but because i felt like i could think about something else for a change rather than been wrapped up in TTC for every minute of every day. Hopefully being more relaxed and not really trying might bring a little suprise We'll see.

 

[fothers]

sorry for your loss and everything you are going through, I hope everything works out well soon

 

[Valley Girl]

 

[mummykay]

so sorry jenna, please look after urself and come back soon!!