Just feel cr*p

[dannih94]

Hey ladies. I don't ever come on here, or really use forums at all but I need to reach out to somebody!!
I have two daughters, aged 4 and 2. My eldest starts first school this September and I feel like I will lose a piece of her I'll never get back, she also won't be around the home as much. As of September my youngest is also going to be attending pre school 5 afternoons a week instead of her usual 3 to prepare her for proper nursery in January. My youngest has always been my little baby, her mannerisms and the way she clings to me but even I have noticed her separating from me somewhat, and that's a great thing for her but not so much for me I became a mum at a very young age, I had my first when I was 16, my second when I was 18. I'm now 21 and the longing for another baby is back. I've spoken to my OH of 5 years and he said he would be happy to start TTC September next year. I was originally okay with that but I'm sure you ladies can relate when I say the more time goes on, the more I am finding myself not okay with it and want to bring it forward. I don't want to push him on it, it's his decision too. More so mine, as he works full time and isn't really around the children. Doesn't help that all three of my closest friends are either pregnant or starting to TTC very soon. Not sure what I'm looking for really, maybe just some understanding and support
Thanks for reading x

 

[Lander]

It's good to write out your feeling like this sometimes though. Can help you gain a bit of clarity, hope you feel better soon.

Lxx

 

[xxSparklesxx]

Hi danni

I think it's totally understandable how you feel with the children growing up. Have you talked to ur oh about how you feel?

What's his reason for wanting to wait another year?

 

[dannih94]

Thanks ladies.
His reasons so far is that next September he starts a management course for his job but it's in London, which is about 4 hours away from where we live. He will have to start commuting to and from, leaving at about 4am and not returning until about 11pm 4 or 5 days a week. He says if we try now he thinks it will be too much for me to cope with alone when he has to go. But he will be on the course for the best part of two years, so I don't see that it makes a difference and if his only concern is how I will cope, surely that's for me to decide? Maybe I'm being selfish :/