it can only get better surely

[bowmanzoo]

Well here I am banging my head with social services about my unborn child, nothing major but need them to do whatever they need to do and on top of that facing homelessness as you all know but hopefully council will sort something out tommorow. Then to hit me even harder got a phonecall from my sister today to say my mums been trying to phone me as her husband gone back into hospital and is on his death bed but I didnt really take much notice as my mum has always been a hypocondriac and her husband has been dying for 2 years. Mum phoned me a bit l8er and I told her if things turn for the worse to phone me and ill be there for her. Got a phonecall about an hour later to say he was about to go and could I go to hospital. Got to hospital and 10 mins later her husband was dead. I'm now feeling quite guilty as i'm not sad that he's passed away, I didnt have that type of relationship with him and i'm not close to my mum due to physical, emotinal and sexual abuse as a child but I'm sad because its more stress that I really don't need. I know my mum is going to want me there for her now and although she's never been there for me I can't seem to be the cow and turn my back on her at a time like this but I also don't know what I can do. I want to curl up and sleep forever right now and this stress can't be too good on bump.

 

[lulu]

oh you poor thing. I know what you mean about your mum as I have the same kind of relationship.

You need to think about you and harsh as it may sound, why should you be there for her when she hasn't been there for you.

Believe it or not you will feel so much better if you do what you want, do what you feel is best - even if that is to put yourself first and maybe distance yourself from her to ease the stress. You don't need this on top of everything else.

Put your little family first.

I was there for my mum when my dad died but never really felt she was there for me, it made me resent her even more and I really wish I had put myself and my feelings first!

have some

 

[dannii87]

I can't help with great advice as I haven't been through this, but I would like to offer my support to you and try to help best I can. I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through right now, but try and take one step at a time and just think, your problems are individual problems, even if they do seem as though they are one BIG thing at the moment...

Firstly, the house situation - The government/council will NOT see you homeless. Even if you are put into temperary accommodation for a short while, you will be housed eventually.

Secondly, social services... Try to look at it that they are doing their job by checking up on things, (if there weren't people like them around the world would be a nasty place in certain situations) and you are doing yours by being a great mum to Joanna. I am sure they will see that you are doing just brilliantly and perhaps this time they will offer the support you've so desperately needed (previously, and now).

Thirdly, your mum - Just try and be there as much as you can for her - If you can't do it, you can't do it - but then she can never throw it back in your face that you didn't try. We all need our Mums, some more than others. It sounds as though you are bitter about your childhood (and going by what you said, you bloody should be!) That's a normal feeling. However, this might be the turning point for your relationship.

I should follow my own advice!

 

[millylillyrose]

awww hun, im so sorry you have so much crappy stuff going on, try to stay positive and relax.

 

[Miss.Monroe]

i know exactly how you feel hun. im in the same position as you, facing homlesness and chasing the council at every given opportuinty to get a home.

my relationship with my mum sounds as good as yours, my mother is very intimidating an alcholic and thinks she will be at the birth, i havent told her she wont be for fear of her hurting me! i really am afraid of her.

i understand that you feel you have to be there for her now, even though she has never done anything for you. i have this problem with my mum too.

we just keep going back for more of the same crap dont we! its because they are our mums and we want them to change! they wont. all you can do is be there for her physically, but try to distance yourself mentally.

have you got someone to talk to about all this? even if its just one person who is 100% behind you and doesnt want anything in return thats all you need.

i have a person like that here for me and shes been amazing, its been hard for me to understand that she doesnt want anything in return for all that shes doing for me.

remeber whenever you feel low come on here and type out your frustrations, dont feel guilty for how you feel. this forum has helped me so much over the past few months.

feel free to PM me whenever you want, im always on this site!