I wish I could make him understand

[Kiki0210]

I had a few drinks tonight and ended up getting really upset in front of my oh but then couldn't talk to him about it. All he does when I do talk to him is say everything will be fine but what if it's not? He doesn't seem to want to consider what might happen. I haven't been upset for ages and tonight I just lost it. I wish he seemed as bothered as I am. Sorry for the rant x

 

[Babybushie28]

Hey Kiki,

I think men don't deal with probs all that well and rather hide under the sand instead of dealing with them. When I have a prob I struggle to talk to my oh because he always thinks I want him to come up with an answer and doesn't understand that I just want him to listen and understand where I'm coming from! Maybe just make it clear as to how you need to him to react when you want to get something off your chest? He may be more likely to take it in if you just want him to listen.

Bug hugs

Xx

 

[rea2012]

i think we're different creatures hun... Men think that the way to show love and help is to fix it. It's very hard for men to feel that they're showing love and care by just listening.. They're practical.. if it happens they'll deal with it and think about what the best options are. Try not to take it to heart... though I don't know your OH it's likely that he is doing their best to show you the love he'd need... reassurance.. He probably feels just as bothered hun, just shows it differently x

 

[Kiki0210]

Thanks ladies, I know you are both right! My oh is amazing, just one of those days where this ttc lark gets on top of you! It didn't help that while I was at our work drinks thing I was chatting to one of the girls in my office who is pregnant and she came out with line "when u start trying don't listen to everyone who say its takes a year. It just took us 2 months" It's not her fault and she doesn't know but that just set me off in time for oh picking me up and he got the brunt of it!! X

 

[hayes]

My OH is the same he gets the brunt of my bad days and sometimes i dont want to tell him how i feel coz he does feel bad too and wants it as much as me he just keeps it to himself easier than me!! My doc told me it is perfectly normal to take up to 2yrs so im trying to remember that wen af show up!!

Michelle. x

 

[KMG]

Hi Kiki here is a big for you!

My oh is the same - the other night we were watching tv and i just started crying saying how unfair it is that we have been trying so long and nothing.

He tried to be supportive and say the right things but just ended up saying it will happen - I did say what if it does not he just dont worry BUT I DO in fact that is all i do!

I dont thing he understands because he does not have to deal with the period!

Oh well he does have to deal with the random floods of tears!

xx

 

[Clairabella]

Hope you are ok! I don't think men know how to deal with us when we feel awful during TTC I have bad days and I know there is nothing my oh can do or say to make me feel better. It's tough when us ladies are so in tune with our cycles and we put so much hope on getting a BFP every month.
I'm sorry that you had to listen to your colleague telling you that it only took her 2 months to conceive..... Why is it so easy for some couples? But i wouldnt wish these ttc feelings of disappointment on my worst enemy.Let's stay positive and we have got to believe it will happen for us all soon.
Hope you are having a hood weekend xx

 

[Kiki0210]

Your lovely responses are what makes this forum so great! Much better now just a wobble! x

 

[flisstebbs]

Glad you feel better. I totally agree with the ladies above.

My DH is exactly the same as well. We've agreed now that if I'm upset he will say nothing (as invariably its he says the wrong thing!) but give me a cuddle. I try to minimize the "deep talks" with him and tend to talk to close girlfriends and my sis (who is also struggling ttc). Poor boys really struggle with all this stuff too underneath it all.

 

[3Beloved]

I think that men feel the emotions different to us.

With me it's a case fo not feeling like/or being a proper woman if i can't conceive, by that i mean i've failed as woman etc...

I don't think men see it like that..

BUT it is deffinately hard when you have a down day about it as everything just piles on top.

I hope you get to talk talk to your OH and that he realises you were jsut upset.

xx

 

[yangzhen76]

Hey Kiki,

I think men don't deal with probs all that well and rather hide under the sand instead of dealing with them. When I have a prob I struggle to talk to my oh because he always thinks I want him to come up with an answer and doesn't understand that I just want him to listen and understand where I'm coming from! Maybe just make it clear as to how you need to him to react when you want to get something off your chest? He may be more likely to take it in if you just want him to listen.

Bug hugs

Xx

Good job!