I need to make a decision

[pinkymum]

As some of you know,I'm gay and had my first AI donations last month. I'm on my own, I don't have a OH. I'm no where near finacially secure. Its only my second time trying. I'm wondering if I should wait a little longer. If I don't get a BFP this month (AF is due in 2 days) I think I'm going to say to my donor that I want to leave it, till next year. He's away working the next two months anyway. Part of me thinks I should wait. The other part of me really wants to be a mum, I'll be 30 next year. And I know that isn't old at all,I also know the older you get the harder it can be to concieve. There is a history of ovarian cancer on my mums side of the family, mum had me at 24,she had a mc at 42 with her new husband. When she was 50 they took her ovaries and fallopian tubes out as prevention. With me getting the cysts, then having the dysfunctional uterine bleeding last year,I worry incase things might get more complicated as I get older. And those are the health reasons why I want to keep trying. And there are lots of other reasons why I want to keep trying. So I'm a bit torn,should I wait or not.

Sorry for rambling on, I'm not asking for any major life advice lol. Just dunno where else to say this. I know my best friend (we've been friends since we were toddlers) is totally behind me and will support me as much as she can if I do fall pregnant.

Yeah, so I need to make a decision, maybe one I don't really want to make

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

tbh, i dont think unless you're financially stable you should be ttc. its got nothing to do with you being single, i'm a single mum myself, but babies cost A LOT! and if you're having doubts, then i dont think its the right time for you

 

[Esoames]

tbh, i dont think unless you're financially stable you should be ttc. its got nothing to do with you being single, i'm a single mum myself, but babies cost A LOT! and if you're having doubts, then i dont think its the right time for you

I don't think anytime is the right time, in Jan when we started ttc I was in a secure job I'm now up for redundancy. All that within 8 months.

You do what is right for you and if health issues are a worry an that your only chance of having a child taken away from you then you need to keep trying.

Hth
Emma x

 

[Laura_C]

I agree with both of the above posts to a degree, but Esoames is right there never does seem to be a 'right' time iykwim. Things change so quickly, so it's a difficult one. We thought in January we were the most financially secure we would be for a while so we thought it's now or never, things changed several months later and extra work my husband had then has since disappeared. We will manage, you just do - is there something in particular financially that is worrying you?

Lots can happen in 9 months, I have learnt that recently! Although I do feel that to have a family you do need a level of stability, it's only fair to your child. We are married, have our own house, both working so regardless I felt even if we struggle month to month that stability is there. If you have a good support network you will always get by, my family have been there through rough times.

 

[flexilexi394]

i didnt plan on having a baby, i potentially am not financially secure realistically, but i believe i can do it and people manage. unemployed people have children and stuff, it is completely doable in my eyes.
I can see both your reasons for wanting and waiting, but seriously girl, go for it! its up to you at the end of the day but i think you can do it. x

 

[ceciliab01]

It does make it much easier to be financially secure so that you aren't worrying about how you are going to afford the next pack of nappies or unexpected medical expense, etc. I say follow your instincts.

 

[xshauna_bazx]

I'm only 20 and i got like this, it was when i first starting trying. It doesn't matter if you haven't got that much money plenty of people survive so i'm sure you can. It is never the right time...i had second thoughts a few month ago but now i have realised i've never wanted something so much and the second thoughts i was having was me just being scared, scared of labour, scared of everything thats going to change. Only you can make this decision and i'm sure deep down you know which is the right one. Good luck to whatever choice you make xx

 

[pinkymum]

Thank you all for your replies Its not just finances, its other things too. My best friend is a fulltime mum, and doesn't have much money and she manages pretty well. And I also agree with "there's never a right time" or an ideal time. Things do change very quickly. I talked with someone today and I think I'm going to wait for about another year (if I can lol) because I do have that little voice niggling at me saying "not yet" ah those damn voices hahaha! Nah but in all seriousness, I think I'll be alot more settled in a years time. Its hard because obviously a huge part of me still wants to keep trying, but my gut instinct is saying wait. Although AF is due tomorrow,there's still a chance I could be pregnant lol. I don't think I am

Thanks again ladies

x x x x

 

[Naomi D]

Good luck for the future pinkymum - and for what it's worth I think you would make a great mum

 

[pinkymum]

Thanks Naomi

I'll be sticking around though

x x x x