I need some advice please :)

[Happybunny]

Hello
My God this parenting this is HARD work! I love my little girl so much it hurts, but I am beginning to reach a pit of despair because I really don't know what to do with her.
I hate to see her cry, I really want to soothe her and make everything ok, but I don't know what she wants.
She often feeds and then falls asleep after about 25/30 mins, but if you move her her, she wakes and goes crazy. I stick her back on the boob and she can suck and suck and suck and suck (I think there is no milk, she just wants comfort). I wait until she falls asleep to mover her, but then she wakes and cries again. (If hold on to her, she will wake up in a little while too)
Daddy makes sure her nappy is clean and he swaddles her and rocks her. She can settle, but then you put her down and she wakes and cries again, often doing the lip smacking thing. I will offer her the other boob, but the same cycle ensues.
We spend all our evenings in this feed/settle/feed/settle cycle. I am not sure that she is hungry all the time, maybe she needs the comfort of a dummy to suck on or something - but then I am worried about ruining the breastfeeding.
I really don't know what to do - it breaks my heart to see her so upset and I feel powerless to help her.
Sorry for rambling, but any help or advice would be really gratefully appreciated.

 

[jodie_honey]

hi hun, try not to panic it happens. abigail used to use my booby for comfort and she wont have a dummy, refuses lol.
try her with a dummy. it wont ruin the breast feedin lots of people do it, if u dont hun u will get rly down and tired thats what happend with me.
if she wont take a dummy like my lil one, try a bottle of cool boiled water hope things settle for u xx

 

[Redshoes]

She's still tiny, she needs to learn the routine, ie feed, sleep, Mummy or Daddy are still there if you need them Isaac would only ever settle on us when he was little, we'd let him sleep in the room with us until we went to bed, then co-slept, he wouldn't take a dummy until 5months so it went on for that long with us, but I wouldn't do controlled crying.

If Daddy does the putting to bed that might help, as she'll smell your milk anyways. Wish I could help but wanted to say very best wishes, its very hard when they are upset and you feel powerless, but you aren't, just holding her is everything to her, you're doing great

 

[lauramumof2]

what about getting a sling, a pouch sling maybe? It would let you get on with things when she is fractious.

 

[muppetmummy]

logan is exactly the same! he falls asleep on the boob but the minute i move him he wakes up and wants to suck. i can tell from the way he sucks that he's not eating, ive ordered a pouch sling off ebay so hopefully i can carry him around the house and get something done! i tried a ringsling but found it too hard to use, logan would go to sleep in it though

at the moment when he sleeps for 5 mins away from me im rushing off to go to the loo or fix some food before he wakes up again. i often have to get OH to hold him but even then he often cries for my boobs! i hope the sling works, maybe you could try that too?

im trying to avoid giving a dummy as james had one till he was 2 0r 3 and it was a nightmare getting it away from him! there were times when we'd be at the bus stop waiting for a bus, and james would scream his head off cos he'd lost the dummy, we'd end up going back to the shops to buy him another for the sake of my sanity and everyone else on the bus!

 

[debecca]

what about getting a sling, a pouch sling maybe? It would let you get on with things when she is fractious.

Pouch slings are DEFINITELY the way forward. It works a treat for Connie. I got the Coorie pouch sling because people on here recommended it on Urchin's "which sling?" thread, and I found it at a £6 (!!!) discount at treehuggermums (I think that's the address). Also because we were desperate we paid extra (£4.50) to have our slings sent next day delivery - which given that I ordered them in the afternoon was great!

I have the pink one with daisies on. Jim has plain blue. But she loves being carried by either of us and I even took her round the supermarket in it the other day - it gives you such freedom!!!! And really seems to soothe the baby!

 

[charlie84]

Calleigh went through exactly what your little one is going through. She was definately using my booby as a dummy. I tried her with a dummy but she didnt like it at all, so i just let suck away on me.

It really knackered me out but after a week or so she stopped fussing and went back to feeding then sleeping fine

I agree with that parenting is so hard, i dont think anyone can prepare you for it. But it does get better hun, i have started to notice that it is starting to get easier. I am now more in tune as to what LO wants and know what soothes her. Plus i am alot more confident with her now.
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[Happybunny]

Thank you so much for all your replies. We have a freedom sling, but we hadn't tried it out yet. I got it out today and will give her a try when she wakes up.
We had a better evening last night because we put her to sleep in a darkened room after her 7pm feed. She slept until I woke her at 10pm - I ususally feed on demand, but thought she may need a feed before a long night. It was a great evening, but unfortunately a bad night. She woke every two hours for food (which is unusual for her - she usually does 4/5/6 hour stretches) I think the new routine threw her a bit. I am going to persevere though and see what happens tonight.

I did try her with a dummy this afternoon when I got really upset with her constant crying. It really soothed her quickly, but it made me cry and cry. I felt like a failure and that I should not really deny her the comfort of my breast. I took the dummy out and let her suckle. After feeding/suckling, she did not want the dummy at all (made me feel a little relieved) So we spent about 3 hours on my bed this afternoon doing nothing but feeding/suckling. Not very practical, but nice non-the less.

 

[MissThing]

Hun, dont feel bad about giving a dummy! For us it was a godsent. babies LOOOVEEEE to suck, and if you dont give them dummy, they will suck you non stop. I would say, dummy is the answer if you want to get some rest.

Hope it will get better for you soon!

 

[BabyMagic]

I know what you mean!!!

I have one little high maintanance, yet ever so gorgeous, madam here! She doesn't like to be put down and even knows when I've sat down (even though I still try to rock her) and tells me off

In fact it has taken me a looong time to read and respond to this thread! Plus I am an expert with typing using one hand only.

I am a first time mum so how should I know but I keep telling myself that this is temporary and that I will remember this time fondly later on.

As the others have said a sling should help. I have akari me which LO loves but it takes too long to put on and has been getting LO pretty hot in the past few days. I am waiting for a baba sling to be delivered - hope it will be easier to use...

Good luck