I need advice im losing my mind!!!!!!

[Melanie]

I swear my nice, polite, smiley daughter has been stolen and replaced with a little girl who looks like Thea and sounds like Thea but is actually some type of demonic nightmare!!
Where did my good little girl go??? I really thought all this stuff id heard about the terrible twos had to be an exaggeration but no its true! We now have screaming, throwing things, hitting, biting and just generally being a pain in the backside on a daily basis. Thank god so far its rarely outside the house apart from one day when we went for a meal and her behaviour was just so appalling i picked her up and left without finishing our food because i was so embarrassed.
This is all since we moved, she wont go to bed, she wont nap, she basically wont do anything she hasn't thought of herself. I'm on my last nerve here!
How do you deal with the tantrums? I admit I've been spoilt, she was just so good that i have no idea how to deal with her now that she isn't!
She met the health visitor for the first time today, she was all sweetness and light then! The HV interacted with her for a while and told me that she thinks a lot of it is because Thea is above average intelligence and she isn't being stimulated enough. She goes to toddler gymnastics, art class, playgroup, visits to the local farm, play dates etc. We do something almost everyday of the week including the weekend, what the hell else am i supposed to do with her to stimulate her!!! We read stories, we draw and paint, bake, we sing songs - please someone give me some ideas!
I was really proud of her though, the HV asked if she knew her name and she said "Yes i am Thea Louise Carr" and then she said i know numbers and counted perfectly from 1 to 14!!! Everything she was asked she answered and when the HV asked her if she could draw somethings for her she followed her all her instructions well. She isnt two until October.
The only advice the HV gave me was well be grateful your girl is gifted! I am honestly i am but how does that help me with everything else! I want to help her be the best she can be but that bloody woman just made me feel inadequate, like i'm not doing enough to be good parent.

ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

 

[maria1976]

It may take her a while to settle down after your move honey, im not sure about the terrible twos tbh, ive got that all to come!!
It sounds like your very busy doing stuff with her so it cant be Thea being bored. Hopefully she will settle soon back into a routine for you.
Sorry cant be much help

 

[monster_munch]

Run far far away and come back when she's 30??


Know how you're feeling as I am going through the same thing (although DD can't enunciate well so she gets very frustrated that I don't understand her. She's getting there but can't do S's, Th's F's G's C's K's P's H's J's Q's R's V's W'x X's and can only sporadically do L's so it's blumming hard to suss out what she's saying )

TBH I have found some of Supernanny's techniques really helped. I get down on her level, make her look at me (by tell her, not grabbing her head ) and get her to calm down and give her a warning. if she continues she goes to her room for a couple of minutes. I've found it a Godsend to be honest, plus when she goes to her room she quite likes to stay there and play so I get about half an hour of peace!

 

[SarahH]

The terrible twos are all a big fat lie.....













They actually start anytime between 18mths and 24mths!
Arianna had hers at 18mth and was a nightmare child for about 2mths, I put it down to coming back from the states, but looking back... she was just doing her "I want to be in control" thing.
I too do something with Arianna everyday and was told the same that she wasnt stimulated enough, but to be honest I think that was rubbish. I just said no, picked her up sat her on the couch and if she came running for hugs I just ignored her for a few minutes until she realised "oh hang on, if I annoy Mammy, I dont get any hugs"

 

[~*Leanne*~]

My OH's neice turned two in May and she is going through the 'terrible twos' now! she was such a quiet, lovely little girl, hitting two has made her into a nightmare

sorry not any help i know

 

[lauramumof2]

Would you put her into nursery for a few half days. Joe goes for 2 , 2and a half hour sessions and he loves it. I did the same with jess as she was a clever bunny and I am so glad I did. It was when they were 2-3 so I paid for it myself but it was money well spent.

 

[Gem & Leland]

ive got no advice as abviously ive not been there but all i can say is when the toddler moved in upstairs it was a nightmere , all we could hear was screaming and tantrums ! but i can safely say it settled down, so it must of been the stress of moving etc cos altho we hear him sometimes , and when his ill its not like the constant thing it was !

just wanted to give you hope really

 

[Daggers]

Hi Melanie,

I know what you mean regards the terrible 2's ! Otis also seems to have been affected by this split personality. If he doesn't get his way he tends to go a bit nuts (to put it mildly sometimes), however I find that when he starts to behave this way I threaten to put him to bed. We converted his cotbed awhile back so now when he miss behaves we simply put him in his room where he can chill out in his bed for a few minutes. It seems to work, either the threat of taking him up stairs or actually leaving him in his room on his own for awhile. It might be worth a try, if anything at least it will give you a minute or two to compose yourself.
Guess it's just one of these phase they go through, all fun and games!!!
Dx

 

[minxie]

I haven't got any advice to offer as I have the terrible twos all yet to come. Just wanted to wish you & Thea well

 

[Redshoes]

Is she like that with anyone else Melanie? I ask because Isaac is almost like a split personality sometimes, but he's 15months, he is having serious tantrums, he gets very frustrated with things and at his worst, he gets down on all fours and headbutts the floor, hard, and screams and screams, its horrible, but he only does it with me, rarely with his Daddy but not with anyone else! In his case I do think its partly his inability yet to talk, so with Thea I would agree she is probably quite advanced and seeking more than what she gets, which is A LOT from what you've told us about, so maybe like others have said, some time away from you in day nursery would be a positive thing for her? Really hope she calms somewhat soon for you, but don't, wel try not to, take it personally, she loves you and you're a fantastic Mummy, very, very best wishes

 

[Melanie]

Oh yes its just with me! Very rarely does she behave badly with her dad. Im starting to think maybe a half day in a nursery would be good for her but she just seems so little to go to nursery on her own.

 

[Xena]

I know how you feel. For the past year or so Lydia has been a little pain in the backside.

I look at photos of her as a baby, and think "awww she was so little and gorgeous and I NEVER thought I'd have to tell her off for anything", but these days literally not one day goes past that I'm not telling her off for something.
I feel really guilty for it sometimes - I feel as though she's only little, and I don't WANT to be telling her off all the time. I hate having to do it.
But then she goes and does something naughty five minutes later and I end up shouting at her again.

I just want it to stop so that I can have a nicer relationship with my daughter!

 

[lfc_sarah]

 

[lauramumof2]

Oh yes its just with me! Very rarely does she behave badly with her dad. Im starting to think maybe a half day in a nursery would be good for her but she just seems so little to go to nursery on her own.

I know what you mean and I had reservations about doing it with Joe , not Jess though as she was ready. Joe has taken to it so well, he just turned 2 before he went.

 

[Daggers]

hi Melanie,

Not that it will make a difference I'm sure but Otis has been in nursery now since last... (hmmm) November. Even though he still cries on occassions when I drop him of I do believe he enjoys it and it gives him time away from me, allowing him to develop his social skills - which I think has made a difference. He only goes for 2 mornings a week so on average 3 to 4 hours a morning lgiving me time to do some house work ( )!
So I do think that it's worth thinking about as I'm sure there is nothing better sometimes then hanging out with other kids.
Dx

 

[Tina & Gabs]

Hi Hun

Gabs goes to nursery for one day a week and has done for over a year now and I really think it helps too.
It gives her a chance to be away from me and to mix with other kids and do different things.

Hope your doing ok and I would say that our girls are getting to that age where they are independent and know what they want. It's frustrating sometimes but my advice would be to be as consistent as you can with her. You are a fab mummy and Thea is one amazing little girl