I just don't know what to do.

[timsmom]

We sold our house back in March for many reasons and since then have been living with my sister who is single. We are living in a two bedroom house and she is a bit of a control freak. She is going to Australia at some point and we had said we would rent her house (pay the mortgage whilst she was away). In August I found out I was pregnant and feel this has really moved the goal posts.

She is no nearer saving the money to go to OZ and we have been paying a large proportion of her bills, food etc. I discussed it with Mart and decided that we should start looking for something of our own. I need to put down some roots before the baby comes and there won't be room for all of us. She did say whe was going to move out before the baby arrives and move back to mopms but Martin hates the area and wants something of our own. She has really taken it badly and said whilst we needed her it suited fine but now we are crapping on her cos she'll never get the money together to go to Oz without us there to help her with the bills. I am so grateful to her for putting us up but I can't be grateful forever and with a baby on the away my feelings have changed.

She is so mad she won't speak to me or Mart and we're trying to live in the same house. Its terrible and is making me ill. What do you think I should do, I don't want to end up destroying our relationship but I won't be bullied into staying there to please her.

 

[Sophie1102]

I think that is very selfish of her to say that she needs help with the bills so she can go away, if she needs the money so much then she should get a lodger. It is really that she has helped you out when you needed it but it's not as if she has done it for free, You need to think of what is best for your own family.

I hope things work out for you x x

 

[Urchin]

Ask her how much exactly she has managed to save while you have been staying there and paying the bills.
She sounds like she's been having and easy ride and relying on you too much and not planning ahead at all.

 

[Tegala-7thMarch08]

if my sister would have dare said something like that to me i would of told her exacally how selfish she was being.

im sorry but it does sound like your sister hasnt planned ahead and has just been reliying on you.

i would just sit her down and say to her this is silly and she cant expect you to stay in a two bedroom house with 3 adults an a new baby thats not fair.

 

[Sammystar]

You are NOT being selfish, you are being completely logical and practical. It doesn't make sense to have to share such a small place when there's a baby on the way.

Your sister has been relying on you too much, but you now have a baby to consider so you have to put yourselves first. She needs to understand that.

It's her problem not yours. I hope you can make her understand......

 

[Miss M]

I agree with these very wise ladies above. You are not being selfish at all, it sounds very much like she's feeling hard done by. You have to think about yourself right now

 

[**C**]

She's just being a cowbag! You do what you need to and tell her she can get a lodger.

 

[Slinky Sarah]

if you have been paying like you have i think it is really mean of her to say things like that! I doubt she would like living in a 2 bedroom house with a new baby anyway when there will be sleepless nights!
Just sit her down and ask her really what she would have planned to do if you hadnt have moved in and started paying

 

[Babylicious]

I think you are doing the right thing, a 2 bed house with 2 kids is just not big enough with your sister there. She should understand, she's definately being selfish.

 

[timsmom]

Thanks for the replies girls. I am going to take a late lunch and go home and have a face to face with her. I don't want to involve my oh as he is overly protective at the moment cos I'm preggers and the less people who are involved, the more likely we are to resolve this whole sorry mess without falling out permanently.

 

[enn]

hope u get it sorted

 

[jools221181]

How did it go?

 

[timsmom]

Terrible. Things got said that can't be taken back (on her part not mine) and I fel absolutely sick to the stomach. She's told me she wants us out and sooner rather than later and then she wants nothing more to do with me after that.

I've tried to reason and even offered to help her with her savings but now she can take a running jump. She has been my best friend and we've been through a lot together. To think she can be so vile after everything thats happened and considering I'm pregnant leaves me speechless. If someone had told me this could happen I'd have told them they were wrong. I feel absolutley bereft and the atmosphere is terrible. My son was sick this morning and I think its only because he's picking up on the vibes. I've left him in nanny's capable hands today.

 

[Babylicious]

I hope you find somewhere soon

 

[jenna]