I feel like ive let Finley down

[Sassyminx]

the past few days hes been really screaming when im trying to feed him, wont latch on and just had a suck and then screamed again, was really struggling as when he did eventually latch on fell asleep after 5 mins then wanted feeding again 20mins later, doing this for 2-3hour stretches.
I was getting a bit worn out and was sat permanently with my boobs out not being able to go anywhere or do anything as he was feeding this way, and getting very agitated.

After being knackered yesterday i decided to try him on some formula to see if he was still the same, was expecting him to not want me to feed him and him refuse the bottle, but he simply started sucking straight away and had 4oz without any problems, went to sleep and slept 4hrs without stirring once

I gave him some more formula last night and he has been much more settled, sleeping for longer stretches and not screaming like when i was trying to feed him

I feel like ive let him down though having only breastfed him for 2wks, i managed to get to 12 wks with the other 2 and feel awful for giving up so easily, but i feel a lot more relaxed now,and feel as if im able to go out without worrying about him wanting a feed every 20mins



I didnt realise how much work it would be having another 2 to look after while trying to constantly breasfeed a newborn

 

[SarahB]

aww hun, don't be so hard on yourself, this is obviously the best way for both of you. Breastfeeding IS really hard and you should be proud that you gave it a go. I really struggled at the beginning and I didn't have two other kids to look after, I can't even imagine being able to do that. At least he has had the colostrum which is the best bit. I doubt that he will feel you have let him down

 

[Sassyminx]

he was putting weight on really well while i was breasfeeding, and hes had 2 wks of my milk,but obviously something was wrong, i get a bit paranoid as i had infected milk ducts last time i breastfed and didnt know, and Josh used to scream the house down, i think with me having such big breasts anyway its very hard for me to empty them properly, makes me wonder if my milk had started to go off which was the reason he was screaming.

I just feel awful for giving up so soon

 

[Melly+2]

you did the best you could hun and he will benifit from the two weeks you fed him, i had to stop at 6 weeks and i felt bad but if he is sleeping better and you are less stressed dont worry, your doing what you feel is right for him and that is the best thing you can do, u sound like a great mummy to me

 

[Urchin]

You haven't let him down, you are using formula becuase it suits him better.

Good for you for trying something new to help you son. That's being a good mom, not a bad one.

 

[Sassyminx]

i feel a lot more relaxed knowing that if i need him to his daddy can feed him if i am knackered, and knowing that he is content instead of worrying about him

i feel really calm now

 

[Melanie]

A calm mammy is a good mammy to have. You havent let him down at all hun, you have nothing to feel guilty about.

 

[Tina & Gabs]

Just want to echo what the others have said. You are not a bad mummy and you have not let Finley down. Happy Mum = Happy Baby

 

[Hypnorm]

you've done well so dont worry, if formula suits him then so be it.
Hes has 2 weeks so you've done fine.

 

[babyjay1]

Ah, i know how awful this feels as my little boy was exactly like that as soon as he was born. They wouldn't let me go home coz he wasn't feeding. All he did was cry, i knew he was hungry but he just wouldn't latch on.

All i did was persevere, i just think he was lazy and wanted it all done for him. I think your LO is only taking the bottle because you don't have to suck that much to milk out where as the breast is alot more work.

Have you tried squeezing some milk out yourself and just letting it drip in between his lips. He might get the taste for it then and open his mouth. If he does open his mouth (i know it sounds harsh) just put your nipple inside.

Not only this but after all he is a new born baby and has never had to do this before, you are both learning. I know it's both upsetting and distressing but maybe see your midwife/ health visitor and ask for some more advise.

However, if it does mean you have to formula feed then so be it. As long as your baby is getting fed then you are doing the job your meant to be doiing. Don't beat yourself up, you tried your very best and that proves your a good mum.

p.s I sit there with my boobs out all day too, and this is 2 months on!!!!!!!!!

 

[Sassyminx]

he was latching on fine before hand, just started being really awkward and not sucking properly, tbh my milk seems to flow really fast as soon as he started sucking, hes been much more settled on formula and doesnt even seem remotely interested in my breast

i feel a bit better about it now, i want him to be happy and relaxed, and i need to be able to do stuff with the other 2 kids as well

 

[babyjay1]

Yeh as long as he is happy, thats all that matters isn't it hun. Anyway at least he'll probably get into more of a routine now. Glad you feel fine now

 

[Jaidy]

Hun dont feel bad, like others have said if your calm and relaxed then your baby will be too.

And at the end of the day there is nothing wrong with formula so dont beat yourself up about it, you did great to do it for 2 weeks its more than some people can do so well done

 

[Alfiesmummy]

a relaxed happy mummy makes a more content baby and if he is content how can you be letting him down? your fantastic for seieng his needs and helping him and making him happy, dont be down on yourself you are great

 

[rusks]

i sympathise sassy but like the others have said don't beat yourself up about it. happy mummy happy baby. i'm in a similar position as i have been expressing 3 hourly as luke can't latch on and i'm getting fed up with it, my milk just hasn't increased in over a week and i'm not meeting his demands and when i express OH does all his cares and feeds and i feel lik im missing out on my son. i'm ready to go for formula 100% as i'm not finding it enjoyable and its exhausting.

big hugs and don't feel bad xx