I am just so sad :(

[Cixes]

I don't know if many of you have read my post about my Mil in the adult bit but basically her ex husband has returned home to her, they live next door but one to us and he makes me feel physically sick i dislike him that much!

He came back totally out of the blue on wednesday, and is obviously still settling his feet back under the table. A lot has gone on over the past 5 years and i really don't like him in general, regardless of what he has done to the family in the past. Everyone seems to think the sun shines out of his arse, and have forgotten all the hurt he has caused.

I am a very strong minded person and i told my mil that if she ever took him back i wanted nothing to do with him and he was not welcome in my home. Now its like i am the bad guy because i won't accept this total creep into my life.

I wasn't feeling well earlier and my hubby asked whilst i was having a lie down if he could take our youngest in to his mums, i could hardley kick up a fuss so i said yeah and then a bit later he took our other son in, i just couldn't take it, i started to sob because i was so uncomfortble that my children were in there. Hubby was really sorry and brought them home and said he didn't realise i felt that strongly.

I just feel like a total bitch, i think that all the family feel i should be forgiving and accept him but i just can't - the problem is that its eating away at me as a person because i am normally so forgiving. His mum hasn't even popped in to see me or phone since wednesday (she text me a few times just to keep telling me he was going to stay this time and to trust him, that she wants a happy family christmas) before she barely gave me space to breathe and its as if she has forgotten everything i have done for her over the years now he is back.

I just hate feeling like this

 

[sam08]

Bless your heart babe, he obvisouly did something very bad to make you feel this way. I dont know what advice to give but hope things get better for you very soon. Im sure if your MIL wants to see her GK's she'll accept that you dont want him there as well for whatever reason it is and you can come to some sort of arrangement. xxxxxx

 

[Charlotte_faeriemad]

Oh Cixes, I don't know what to suggest really but, looking at it from an outsiders point of view, if your MIL does accept him back there is nothing you can do. I am a very strong minded person too and once someone has crossed me or a friend/family I find it very difficult to trust them again. I understand how your feeling. Ask your MIL to come round to yours to see your children, things may settle over time, time is a great healer but I don't know what this man has done so my comments may not help. Big anyway x

 

[Cixes]

Thanks Girls.

I don't think it helps that my hubby has sort of forgiven and forgotten and here i am moaning and being stubon about it all. It's sort of making me feel like i just want to run away from all of them and let them get on with being a happy family.

I spoke to my mum about it today and she said that i didn't have to back down and accept him if i felt uncomfortable.

That just how i feel though, he has never made any effort to sort things out and hubby went in to see him today and said that he should phone me and try to sort things out before they get worse, he didn't want to and said "she will get over it all with time". I just don't feel that will happen though, i don't trust him and i he is just one of those people i can't find anything positive about and i feel repulsed by.

I know that i need to put me and my baby first, and stop stressing out over all this.

My Mil said she will come and see me after 3pm tomorrow so hopefully i can explain where i stand and it will be respected.
Whilst i am glad she is happy and no longer lonely, i really don't want to have anything to do with him. I know that i am going to make myself the total black sheep who ends up being resented and looked upon as a bitch, but i would rather be true to myself than be a fake so that they all feel good about each other.

I just feel so bitter and i don't like it, but can you imagine having to hand you new baby to be held by someone who made you feel physically sick.....thats how i feel and i know that the time is drawing closer that it will become a reality.