Hygiene problems with 11 year old

[Charlotte_faeriemad]

Hi folks

I've not posted in this forum yet, I'm usually in Tri 2, so hello to everyone

Well I'll get to the point. have concerns about my 11 year old son regarding hygiene. He rarely brushed his teeth and if I didn't check his tooth brush too see if it was wet or not I believe he wouldn't do them at all. He complains about showering and lies about washing his hair when he hasn't. He comes up with all kinds of excuses not to wash his hair, sorry if this is tmi but when he walks past me I can smell his hair and it isn't pleasant. He rarely washes when we ask him too before bedtime and in the morning. He spends his time messing about in the bathroom, including gouging holes into the soap, making toilet paper balls and soaking them with water and throwing them at the wall (he does remove them but I can see the evidence they leave behind) and when asked about it he just lies ans says it wasn't him.

I'm hoping this is just a stage he is going through due to the raging hormones as he turns slowly but surely into a moody teen, but just wanted to see if anyone else has experienced similar or if anyone had any advice?

 

[Emma58]

It all sounds very familiar to me!

George is almost 13 and about a year ago he was a pain for not getting showered properly, brushing his teeth etc. He would lie and say he had but I could always tell he hadn't. A year down the line though and he is a different boy, he spends ages in the bathroom in the shower, he is forever brushing his teeth, he has an interest in toiletries now and has started wanting aftershave I am quite sure girls are the reason for this turnaround and not my nagging.

I am sure your son will do the same, it's seems to be a phase they go through.

I now just have the moody sulks to contend with and the attitude that is starting to emerge.

 

[mamichuli]

Hun, I know how horrible this is...I had the same sort of trouble with washing with my eldest girl They soon change when they start to get interested in the "opposite sex"! In any case, warn him that the other kids at school have a sense of smell too, and he will get himself a reputation for being smelly, and you never live it down. (my daughter went through this, and it followed her around for the four years she was at the school)

It is a sad consolation, but my daughter is now sixteen and when she is in the bathroom....she stays there for years



Lisa

 

[chickadee1976]

Had the same with Cameron for a bit hes 10.

I just took on his personal hygene myself for a bit
He improved fairly quickly and i dont get any moans about showering now. Still have to tell him to brush his teeth every day but thats just cos hes lazy.

 

[Charlotte_faeriemad]

Oh ladies, thats reassuring to hear, not that it is a great thing but to know my son is displaying semi normal behaviour for his age. It's driving me insane!

He is very absent minded too and when you challenge him over the chores he hasn't done for several weeks, his attitude stinks . It's driving my BF insane and I keep telling him (my BF) I'm sure it's just his age but my Bf is a very logical person and can't understand why he still forgets the recycling when there is a huge pile falling off the kitchen worktop because there is so much of it and my son just walks past and doesn't notice it . I've asked my BF to talk to HIS mum so she can tell him what he was like as a pre-teen or tween as they are referred to now because I am sure he must have been just as bad if not worse

/takes big deep breath

God dont kids give you so much to worry about? But so much to smile about too

 

[HollyHobby]

bear in mind my brother is 46 or something my mum will still talk about how she would often catch him fully clothed sitting on the floor slooshing the bath water round with his hand to sound as if he was in the bath!
So its just a normal thing - and hey in your first post i thought you were talking about my husband NOW

 

[Squiglet]

Hun, I know how horrible this is...I had the same sort of trouble with washing with my eldest girl They soon change when they start to get interested in the "opposite sex"! In any case, warn him that the other kids at school have a sense of smell too, and he will get himself a reputation for being smelly, and you never live it down. (my daughter went through this, and it followed her around for the four years she was at the school)

It is a sad consolation, but my daughter is now sixteen and when she is in the bathroom....she stays there for years



Lisa

Tia tends to be the same.. I have to constantly goad and berate her into showering and changing her knickers. She would do the whole not brushing her teeth thing... but I refuse to read her a story unless she comes to me before bed and burns my eyes out with her minty breath

I'm not worried because it really is the transition point between still being a kid to pubescent teenager, where all of a sudden attracting a mate becomes a high priority and the best way to improve your chances is to look good and smell good.

As for the absent minded thing Tia has a seive for a brain. We have a chore list placed on the wall in the hallway that details exactly what she has to do from when she gets up and goes to school...to when she comes home till bed. Tbh if we didn't it would all fall apart and at 9am, she'd be still sitting in her PJ's messing around with some silly bit of paper. I think its definitely a Tweenie thing. The age between teenagers and children. The attitude I've come to the conclusion is hormone based. We have the fits of tears atm, for no reason what so ever.... its like a switch, then shes aggressive then shes loving.. I don't hold out much change of change for another 10 years or so ..

 

[Charlotte_faeriemad]

LMAO HollyHobby thats funny, I do hope your joking re hubby tho because that aint good

Thanks again, your experiences have helped me relax about it and laugh somewhat too

 

[Sephs]

I'm 15, I can say I went through the stage too at about 9/10. Hormones raging it becomes such a chore and effort! I was worse when I was little, mum watched me once and she said I rubbed the soap with one finger and would then rub my cheek and claim I'd been washed!
Hated brushing my teeth, would kick a fuss when mum got shampoo in my eyes so in the end dad had to wash my hair!

I think the best approach is for your boyfriend to maybe sit down with him (depending how close they are, I'm not sure) and speak about things that men have to do to keep clean and smell good. Maybe suggest a small shopping trip to Boots in which BF and DS can go together and pick a few things for your son specifically. I.e, simple soap, simple roll on deodorant, a body spray, etc.
Make sure your bf tells him how important it is to keep clean and make sure we take care of ourselves. I have only mentioned your boyfriend doing it because of the 'man' thing, but of course I'm sure he'd respond just as well to you.

Personally, mum used the scare tactic with me: "DO YOU WANT TO BE KNOWN AS THE SMELLY KID?!" Needless to say I didn't, and now she has to bang the door down to get me out of the bathroom!

 

[Charlotte_faeriemad]

Thanks Sephs thats some good advice

 

[Sephs]

Glad to be of use!