hubbys gone....

[Manda&Thomas]

hes gone to stay at his dads for the night.
we have done nothing but argue since ive had thomas, he promised he would help and for the first couple weeks he was the doting dad but then the novelty wore off and ive been left to do it all myself.
tbh i dont even think il miss him im looking forward to having a bath in peace being able to watch what i want on tv and not being harrassed all night for hugs and kisses.
thing have really come to blows with us and somedays i question my love for him.
to make matters worse the place we are living is being sold in sep (we found out today) the counsil wont house us say we aint needy enough even though we have nowhere else to go.
we have been offered a morgage but do i realy wanna buy a place with him when im not sure we will be together for much longer.
i just dont no what to do about everything i cant talk t him he just ends up winding me up the worst thing is he aint a bad bloke he gave up smoking drugs and hardly drinks now he doesnt go pubbing/clubbing and he loves me so i dont really no whats wrong.
think i just resent getting married so young and feel trapped as apart from family who dont live close i have no-one else and i think deep down i blame him for that

writting it down makes me feel bad as relise its all me
xx

 

[Jade&Evie]

Hun, I hope you are ok- are you sure it's not just tiredness causing you to be a bit ratty?

As mid said I'd love for my OH to shower me with cuddles and kisses but it just doesn't happen!

The council won't house you if you can afford to buy somewhere but you don't want to waste your deposit on renting so if you are going to buy you need to do it. When you made your vows you said 'for better, for worse'- maybe give each other a bit of space. You might realise how much you miss him

 

[Krystal]

aww hun, you really need to think hard about this. Having a baby is so hard on couples. A marriage is something that needs working on. Too many people walk away too easy. Every relationship needs a lot of work and commitment even if things are going good.

 

[Manda&Thomas]

thanks girls i just hate to be touched at the moment my body repulses me so much ive lost 3st but still look huge and hate every inch of myself, s dnt really want him near me
i no i should be gratefull for what i have things could be alot worse i do so much for him though i d everything not just the normal cook/clean and do everything for thomas but whatever he needs i get for him to the point were i will go out 3/4 times a day to retch things that he wants pencils for work/a new t-shirt just random things but i dont like him to wait for anything i no i should just not do it but then he looks at me pitifully and makes me feel guilty.
a great example of what its like is on thursday my mum asked me if wanted to go shopping with her on sat (today) i said ok that night hubby says he doesnt want me to go as hes been working late he wants us to spend some family time together ok i said and i txt my mum and told her i couldnt go.
friday night he comes in from work and says oh by the way if its dry tomorrow i said id go into work, well that caused an arguement as i was annoyed that i had cancelled my plans and he had gone and made some of his own,
he says he wont go into work in that case after i called him a few names
just before going to bed friday night he says il get up with thomas tomorrow morning you can have a lie in.
sat morning 5:30 thomas gets up i feed him and at 6 i wake hubby (normaly he will get up at 6 watch thomas for an hour then get me up and he will go back to bed for a couple hours )
and i get from him oh instead of getting up with him and coming bac to bed im just not going to bother getting up i want to sleep!!!
well i was so annoyed by then after he promised me he would get up i rang me mum and said infact i will be going shopping with her so i get myself and homas ready 8:45 hubby gets up looks at me and says where you going to which i reply out into town you couldnt be bothered to help me this morning so i cant be bothered to sit around here al day while you take 2 hours to get ready for us to do nothing but watch rubbish war stuff/time team on tv while i do everything in the house again

i dunno maybe i am being unreasonable just dont see why i should do everything i can to make him happy when i dont get anything in return

sorry im just having a good moan to myself ignore me just wanted to get it al out
xx

 

[nori]

It sounds like the hard work and lack of sleep is probably getting to you (understandably) It also sounds like you both maybe giving mixed signals and neither of you really know whats going on. You've got to remember that a lot of men just need clear and concise instructions whereas us woman tend to make suggestions etc.. which really they just dont get! You mention that you get nothing in return yet in your first post you mention he keeps trying to shower you with hugs and kisses.

From your second post it sounds like you have quite low sef esteem since the pregnancy? could this be why you are pushing him away? I do agree with some of the other posts.. far to many people walk away from marriages when the going gets tough and dont try and work through their problems.

I think you need to sit down and have a calm chat.. both say what you need from the relationship to see if you can work it out. I also think that having some time out apart (like going shopping wth your mum) will do you both good.

Good luck with it,

Claire x

 

[Babylicious]

Sounds the same as me and Sean after I had Harrison, can you sit down and have a good chat? Maybe if you get it out in the open and draw up a kind of rota so he knows what he needs to do (men are not great thinkers and they don't do housework off their own backs - well Sean doesn't!) He does need to help as it's knackering having a baby and still having to do everything around the house as well. Seriously sounds like you need some "me time"

 

[Manda&Thomas]

well i thought things would be ok he came home we talked over breakfast sorted a few things out then he went back to his usual self winding me up by moaning about how tired he was after he had done sod all all day he hadnt feed thomas or changed him once just sat on the laptop oh sorry he did walk up the shops that toke all of 30 mins.
hes gone back to his dads tonight and is coming home 6am tomorrow morning before work
dont no what to do if im honest just fed up with the shouting its not good for my baby to be hearing it and its wearing me down aswell.
ive tried to stay calm and have tried not to get annoyed but he does my head in i wouldnt of minded him going for a nap if he had done something in the day
anyways will stop moaning again
xx

 

[debecca]

Poor you Manda

Hope things get better between you soon

 

[dannii87]

Hope you're ok hun

As you are mainly dealing with Thomas, you're happiness is paramount at the moment, and if you're a happier Mummy when he's staying at his Dad's, maybe it's best to do that until your hormones are back on track?

You have to do what's best for you hun. Sometimes in life there isn't a real 'reason', but we just trail off in different directions from our partners and sometimes parenthood can give us different outlooks and feelings etc. So don't feel guilty about how you are feeling, there is a reason, could be hormones, could just be that you no longer feel the way you did about him, or like you said, it could just be that you feel trapped.

I wouldn't do anything drastic just yet. Is there any way you could have a few weeks of living separately and then seeing how you feel? Sounds like you're not having enough time to see how you truly feel deep down.

Must be a horrible situation to be in though sweetie, I really do feel for you. xx

 

[Babylicious]

I think he needs to realise what you have to do during the day, I had the same with sean and what I did was went out for the day leaving him with the kids. Not only did I get some much needed me time but he got to see how much I actually did