How to respond to well meaning people

[gemloulau]

Hi all

Now that I am back at work, I am constantly being faced with colleagues / clients etc who knew I was pregnant but who all know now what happened.

Several people when seeing me for the first time have been saying things like "sorry to hear your sad news" or words to that effect. I am struggling to know how to respond!

The first couple of time it threw me completely and opened the flood gates, I am now finder it easier to hear but just don't know what to say in return, I kind of freeze up a bit, feel a lump in my throat and mumble something like it just being one of those things.

What do I say? I'm not going to go into detail about the whole situation but feel like I need to have some sort of response prepared to stop me looking like gibbering idiot.

Any ideas?

xx

 

[mistyblue]

So sorry for your loss. A few people guessed I was pregnant at work and so have asked the same things. I have just said that it is really sad and thank you for their kind words. I know they mean well but would rather they didn't ask at all. No one knows what to say and it makes it awkward.

I would say something like thanks for thinking of me and leave it at that. I'm sure they would understand if you didn't want to discuss it because it might upset you. Thinking of you - it's hard x x

 

[gemloulau]

Thanks Misty, there has been a couple of people that have wanted to have a chat about it and ask questions etc which has been so hard, fortunately they've stopped when they've seen me getting upset.

I know it will get easier but it seems to be a daily thing when I am just trying to get on with being back at work and getting back into a routine, it feels like I keep hitting a bump in the road every time a different person says something.

How are you getting on, I saw that you have just started back at work. Hope you are doing ok xx

 

[mistyblue]

I'm ok thanks gem. First week back went ok in the end. Just taking it one day at a time. Take care x x

 

[twixi]

Hi I'm sorry for your loss, I had a MMC in may but everyone knew so I had a lot of these well meaning comments to deal with too. Like you I didn't know how to respond and just awkwardly thanked them and changed the subject. I found the easiest ones to chat to we're those who had been through it themselves xx

 

[flisstebbs]

Hi all

Now that I am back at work, I am constantly being faced with colleagues / clients etc who knew I was pregnant but who all know now what happened.

Several people when seeing me for the first time have been saying things like "sorry to hear your sad news" or words to that effect. I am struggling to know how to respond!

The first couple of time it threw me completely and opened the flood gates, I am now finder it easier to hear but just don't know what to say in return, I kind of freeze up a bit, feel a lump in my throat and mumble something like it just being one of those things.

What do I say? I'm not going to go into detail about the whole situation but feel like I need to have some sort of response prepared to stop me looking like gibbering idiot.

Any ideas?

xx

I used to get the opposite problem, particularly after my 4th mc. No one knew what to say, so some people avoided talking to me completely. This got me so upset there have been some people I just can't forgive for this. However hard it is to deal with sympathetic comments (why is it when someone is nice you fall apart??) its better that there is a comment at all. I think my stock phrase used to along the lines of "thank you, but please don't be too nice to me"

Your loss wasso devastating though, I'm not surprised its hard for you. X