Just found this interesting article on the BBC website and how true it is;
Everybody knows best
You can often be bombarded with advice from all sides.
"Don't pick that baby up - you'll be making a rod for your own back."
"You can't go to him every time he cries - he'll be completely spoiled."
"You have to show him right away who's in charge."
"We had you out of nappies by now."
"We didn't do it like that in my day."
New parents can be forgiven for feeling they're suffering from information and advice overload. And so it goes on!
Many parents complain they also receive conflicting advice from health professionals. On matters like feeding you may hear different opinions from the midwife, the health visitor, your doctor as well as the mum next door and your own parents. Then there are the dozens of articles and books that have the shelves groaning with advice overload!
You're the expert on your baby
There's one really important point to remember - you're the expert on your baby. Nobody knows more about what your baby is like and how he prefers things than you.
* Listen - don't automatically ignore advice just because it's been offered by someone you don't necessarily like or get on with. Think about whether some of it might be useful.
* Understand - try to realise that some relatives (your parents perhaps) might find it hard to accept that you're a 'grown-up' adult who can make decisions for yourself.
* Be sensitive - it can be hard to keep your cool when bombarded with unwanted advice but it's important to try and handle possible conflict sensitively.
* Use diversion - sometimes changing the subject can save you from having to listen to advice you don't want to hear. Try asking for advice on something else: "I'm working out the feeding in my own way, but I wanted to ask if you remembered what toys were good for this age?" instead of "I really don't want your views on feeding."
* Be firm - you're the expert on your child (even if you sometimes don't feel it!) so let it be known. Say: "I really appreciate that you're trying to help, but I definitely want to do this my own way."
* Update your advisors - you might try quoting 'experts' such as your doctor, health visitor or even information from an article you've read to show how times - and the advice to parents - have changed.
* Communicate - if your parents or close relatives are over-zealously handing out advice, you might like to 'admit' to them that you know you might make mistakes sometimes, but you want to learn with your baby the way they must have done with their children.
It can be particularly hard to deal with conflicting advice - however well-meant - when it comes from close friends or relatives. The last thing you want is a rift at a time when everyone should be pulling together. The most important thing is that new parents should feel they have enough support without it becoming unwelcome.
Not all the advice you receive will be to your liking, so listen and sift through all the advice and act on that which best suits you and your family.
There is no doubt this can be a difficult, delicate time. Most people will want to give you advice - the trick is to try and accept this while still making it clear that you're in charge of final decisions when it comes to your baby.
Here is the link;
http://www.bbc.co.uk/parenting/your_kid ... ping.shtml[/b]
Everybody knows best
You can often be bombarded with advice from all sides.
"Don't pick that baby up - you'll be making a rod for your own back."
"You can't go to him every time he cries - he'll be completely spoiled."
"You have to show him right away who's in charge."
"We had you out of nappies by now."
"We didn't do it like that in my day."
New parents can be forgiven for feeling they're suffering from information and advice overload. And so it goes on!
Many parents complain they also receive conflicting advice from health professionals. On matters like feeding you may hear different opinions from the midwife, the health visitor, your doctor as well as the mum next door and your own parents. Then there are the dozens of articles and books that have the shelves groaning with advice overload!
You're the expert on your baby
There's one really important point to remember - you're the expert on your baby. Nobody knows more about what your baby is like and how he prefers things than you.
* Listen - don't automatically ignore advice just because it's been offered by someone you don't necessarily like or get on with. Think about whether some of it might be useful.
* Understand - try to realise that some relatives (your parents perhaps) might find it hard to accept that you're a 'grown-up' adult who can make decisions for yourself.
* Be sensitive - it can be hard to keep your cool when bombarded with unwanted advice but it's important to try and handle possible conflict sensitively.
* Use diversion - sometimes changing the subject can save you from having to listen to advice you don't want to hear. Try asking for advice on something else: "I'm working out the feeding in my own way, but I wanted to ask if you remembered what toys were good for this age?" instead of "I really don't want your views on feeding."
* Be firm - you're the expert on your child (even if you sometimes don't feel it!) so let it be known. Say: "I really appreciate that you're trying to help, but I definitely want to do this my own way."
* Update your advisors - you might try quoting 'experts' such as your doctor, health visitor or even information from an article you've read to show how times - and the advice to parents - have changed.
* Communicate - if your parents or close relatives are over-zealously handing out advice, you might like to 'admit' to them that you know you might make mistakes sometimes, but you want to learn with your baby the way they must have done with their children.
It can be particularly hard to deal with conflicting advice - however well-meant - when it comes from close friends or relatives. The last thing you want is a rift at a time when everyone should be pulling together. The most important thing is that new parents should feel they have enough support without it becoming unwelcome.
Not all the advice you receive will be to your liking, so listen and sift through all the advice and act on that which best suits you and your family.
There is no doubt this can be a difficult, delicate time. Most people will want to give you advice - the trick is to try and accept this while still making it clear that you're in charge of final decisions when it comes to your baby.
Here is the link;
http://www.bbc.co.uk/parenting/your_kid ... ping.shtml[/b]
