I'm not sure if this should go in Relationships
I have two friends, 'A' and 'S'. They are lesbians (just to avoid confusion lol! ) and have lived together about 10 weeks.
'A' has been my friend since school and I met 'S' through her.
'S' is registered disabled. She has nerve damage and on a bad day she couldn't get out of bed if she tried. When they first started seeing each other A was registered as S's carer and therefore gets paid a carers allowance.
Now here's the problem. A does NOTHING for S. Last week S had an operation and 2 days later A told her she didn't love her and didn't want to be with her. She then buggered off for a weekend and had a great time while S was stuck at home immobile and on her own. A went back to her parents who basically told her she'd made her bed and now she had to lay in it. So A has gone back to the flat that her and S share. I went round yesterday and A was conked out in bed at 4 in the afternoon after another night of drinking and I know she is out tonight and all over the weekend too. I watched S change her own dressings and then offer to make me a cup of tea The way I see it; if A is being PAID to be her carer she should be caring for her.
I also feel like she's taking the piss moneywise. She doesn't work and hasn't made any effort to since she's left school- she just wants to stay a home, sleep and claim benefits. She worked in the pub for a few weeks until when someone complained about her attitude (which is horrendous at times!) she accused them of being homophobic I lent her £150 two weeks ago because she said she was in the shit and would be able to pay me back at the end of the month- TBH it seems like she's just pissing my money down the drain.
I have had a word with S and we've both agreed that someone needs to say something to her. I think that if she cant handle the responsibilty of being S's carer then she should get off her arse and find a job. I know she's my friend but as her friend I feel like I should tell her- a true friend is honest even if you don't want to hear it.
How Do I Approach It without seeming too aggressive!? It makes me so angry that even sitting here typing it is making my blood boil
I have two friends, 'A' and 'S'. They are lesbians (just to avoid confusion lol! ) and have lived together about 10 weeks.
'A' has been my friend since school and I met 'S' through her.
'S' is registered disabled. She has nerve damage and on a bad day she couldn't get out of bed if she tried. When they first started seeing each other A was registered as S's carer and therefore gets paid a carers allowance.
Now here's the problem. A does NOTHING for S. Last week S had an operation and 2 days later A told her she didn't love her and didn't want to be with her. She then buggered off for a weekend and had a great time while S was stuck at home immobile and on her own. A went back to her parents who basically told her she'd made her bed and now she had to lay in it. So A has gone back to the flat that her and S share. I went round yesterday and A was conked out in bed at 4 in the afternoon after another night of drinking and I know she is out tonight and all over the weekend too. I watched S change her own dressings and then offer to make me a cup of tea The way I see it; if A is being PAID to be her carer she should be caring for her.
I also feel like she's taking the piss moneywise. She doesn't work and hasn't made any effort to since she's left school- she just wants to stay a home, sleep and claim benefits. She worked in the pub for a few weeks until when someone complained about her attitude (which is horrendous at times!) she accused them of being homophobic I lent her £150 two weeks ago because she said she was in the shit and would be able to pay me back at the end of the month- TBH it seems like she's just pissing my money down the drain.
I have had a word with S and we've both agreed that someone needs to say something to her. I think that if she cant handle the responsibilty of being S's carer then she should get off her arse and find a job. I know she's my friend but as her friend I feel like I should tell her- a true friend is honest even if you don't want to hear it.
How Do I Approach It without seeming too aggressive!? It makes me so angry that even sitting here typing it is making my blood boil