How independent is your 9+ y/old?

[mum's the word]

HI!

Liam, my 9 year old is a little clumsy (like me) and his co-ordination can be poor. I obviously wash and iron his clothes for him and put them away but I would like to encourage him to be a little more independent now he'll have 2 younger brothers who will be taking up lots of my time .
I asked Liam to fold his towel and bathers last week and put them in a bag-he just couldn't do it and I've shown him loads of times how to, if he makes himself a drink he usually tips some of it, struggles to pull the plug out of the bath etc.
Liam has been assessed and does not have dyspraxia, but the Ed psych did make a note of his poor co-ordination, handwriting and things like that-all she could give me was some info on encouraging better motor skills.
Just wondering how much YOUR 9 year olds do for themselves?!

Thanks

 

[Squiglet]

Repetition, repetition, repetition.... thats all I can say.

Tia was diagnosed with dyspraxia at the age of 2... She is very clumsy and still puts her shoes on the wrong feet I've told her and we have shown her a million times, but she struggles with it.

Tia doesn't do much around the house... I fold her laundry and put it in her room for her to put away. She struggles with that. She also is responsible for cleaning her room. I make her do a lot with the baby too. Changing her, playing with her, running a bath. Its something that she likes and she gets paid for it occasionally if she does it really well when we are in desperate need.

She can make toast and pour her own drinks, and I have just taught her to clean up the mess when she's done, instead of chastise her for it. She has dropped whole cartons of milk on the floor so she's been taught how to clean it up. She has to take her plates/bowls/cups into the kitchen after use. Mainly really simple chores that are easy to do for her. I know she will always struggle with things and I try to just let her be helpful. But sometimes, shes more of a hindrance than a help

I have found that putting a list of chores she needs to do up on the board helps, especially morning times. In the morning, before the list I'd often find her at quarter to 9 still in her pjs playing with a tiny bit of paper on the bed. Now, she follows this list and as long as we get her up in time, shes all ready to go in time.

Its hard and exasperating... I can get so angry sometimes too but its not her fault really...She tries really hard, which is the main thing. She also gets so upset when things go wrong so I try to keep it simple for her. She will get there soon, there is no rush. But I know how you feel about them being independent, mind I get to keep my little girl a bit longer

 

[mum's the word]

Repetition, repetition, repetition.... thats all I can say.

Its hard and exasperating... I can get so angry sometimes too but its not her fault really...She tries really hard, which is the main thing. She also gets so upset when things go wrong so I try to keep it simple for her. She will get there soon, there is no rush. But I know how you feel about them being independent, mind I get to keep my little girl a bit longer

This is very true, being a clumsy child myself, I know how it affects your self esteem when adults get frustrated with you, although the frustration is there with me as I don't like seeing Liam doing things I used to do because I know how other people react.
I'm still very clumsy at times, esp when I'm nervous-if I go to someone's house who is very houseproud you can GUARANTEE I'll spill my tea/drop something and break it (OH mum is very houseproud and I hate eating there!).

I will take it slowly with Liam, he tries hard too and never complains when I ask him to help me out, fair play to him!

 

[Nicola g]

Hayley helps with the laundry by keeping her clothes in the drawers/wardrobe. She helps put what ever food she wants in her lunch box and also makes herself her breakfast whether it's toast or cereal.

She also helps a lot with Dafydd, like getting his clothes/nappies for me. Keeps him occupied if i need the loo

I wont let her go near the kettle/ cooker or iron.

 

[lea m]

Joseph can do things that I ask just most of the time doesnt! He is on the lazy side! When I pull him up about things he apologises and does them correctly for instance I fold up his clothes and put them in a pile in his room for him to put away, he would gladly just put them all in one drawer and go and play etc!
He can make toast etc but wont let him near the kettle, iron or over as Nicols G said, he does clean up his mess after him!
Im pretty clumsy myself but luckily Joseph isnt!

to your son!

 

[chickadee1976]

Joseph can do things that I ask just most of the time doesnt! He is on the lazy side! When I pull him up about things he apologises and does them correctly for instance I fold up his clothes and put them in a pile in his room for him to put away, he would gladly just put them all in one drawer and go and play etc!
He can make toast etc but wont let him near the kettle, iron or over as Nicols G said, he does clean up his mess after him!
Im pretty clumsy myself but luckily Joseph isnt!

to your son!

Sounds like CAmeron he is very capable but just cant be bothered. Ryan is capable but wont try its like having two babies. Ive got to tell them to do everything. Life is ne long get dressed. Have breakfast brush your teeth. Put your washing in the basket.
Im going to try making a list for them as i feel when the baby comes im not going to have time to chase after them.
They do make ther own breakfast and drinks. Ive just started not putting there clothes away , they can shove everything in one drawer if they like hopefully they will ventually realise its easier to know where things are.
They tidy there own room its not great but good enough i tell them anything left lying about will be binned, it works.