How do you get through the second one

[To scared]

So two years ago I had a beautiful baby girl in my belly, no complecations through the whole of my pregnancy then on the day she was due her heart stopped beating I can honestly say I never truly understood loss till that day. Anyways determend not to give up my partner and I have been trying for a year and finally became pregnant, I found out three days ago and after about two hours of happiness the fear took over and since then it's been hell I don't remember the last time I was so afraid and I have no clue how I'm going to do this for nine months I'm a wreck I can't go through the loss again and everyone keeps telling me it will be fine but I can't stop thinking what if it's not 😢
If anyone has gone through this and has some pointers on how to stop freaking out please help me 😥

 

[Phoenix85]

Congratulations on your BFP.
That's awful about your baby girl. I'm so sorry.

It's not the same, but I had two healthy pregnancies and then my third ended in miscarriage at 6 weeks, and this is the first time I've been pregnant since, and I am so paranoid. I never was with either of my children. Maybe I was naive, but I really didn't worry about not getting my baby. This time I am though, one minute I'm excited about the pregnancy and baby, the next I'm scared I'm going to miscarry again.

I can't even begin to imagine how much harder this must be for you.

I'm not sure what could help, if anything, but I'd look into some grief counseling maybe, could you ask your hospital or midwife if there is any service to help support you through this pregnancy whilst dealing with your loss and the fear due to that?

Also, meditation may help, though I'm not sure. And antenatal massage. Anything to help you relax.

Good luck x

 

[To scared]

Thank you.
Congratulations 😊
Sorry for your loss and I really feel awful asking but it would help put my mind at ease to know the signs of a miscarriage? I didn't feel anything with my baby girl and the doctors said it was because I was so far along so I really have no idea what to be worried about so I'm freaking out over every thing I feel. I understand if you don't want to talk about it and again I'm so sorry for your loss 😔💕
I think I can get counselling but not sure yet as I don't have a midwife and don't get one till after my first ultra sound 😕
Thank you for your reply honestly at the moment just having a way to vent is helping.
How far along are you?

 

[Phoenix85]

Hi.

I'm 7 and a half weeks now.

With my miscarriage the first I knew was when I started spotting at some point during my 6th week (from my LMP).
It started, then stopped, then a few days later it started again. I went to the EPU the next day and it was a proper bleed but not heavy. They scanned me but couldn't find a baby, just the sac, so then I had bloods done which showed my hcg had gone from 2000+ to 200 over 4 days (dropped). Around the time I got the blood results I think I finally got the pains from the miscarriage, but it was a long time ago (2009) so I don't remember it all that well.

Did they ever find a cause for your loss?

When I had my first baby I remember a woman on the pregnancy board I was on had a baby boy who was stillborn at term. She went on to have a healthy little girl and then another baby, but if I remember correctly they induced her early with the next babies.

 

[To scared]

That's great 😊 when do you get your ultra sound?
Thank you for sharing I'm sorry to bring up a sore subject.
The autopsy was inconclusive 😔 I know I made mistakes though so I'm going to be stupidly cautious this time.
I have heard a few stories of people in my situation having normal pregnancies after and it gives me hope 😊 thank you x
I was told by my doctor that they will probably induce me early but I really don't mind I just want my baby to be okay.
I plan on buying a Doppler at ten weeks so I can hear it's heart beat when I'm stressed, Do you plan on getting a Doppler? It may help you too 😊

 

[Cherrybelly]

I've had three losses, but the latest was 11+4 and that was bad enough. I can't even begin to imagine the pain you went through. I'm so sorry. I wish you the best of luck and hopefully we'll all get our beautiful babies to take home this time xxx

 

[Cherrybelly]

Oh, quick word about a Doppler.. I got one when I was pregnant with my daughter after my mmc and I never found anything on it until 16w! I found it caused me more undue stress xxx

 

[Gayle30]

A good friend of mine on here lost her son at term and she went on to have 2 beautiful babies who are the absolute world to her.

I'm sorry your feeling this way and I can only imagine it's only natural.
Is there anyone you can turn to? Your midwife should be able to help guide you to some professionals. Or how about getting in touch with SANDS?

So very sorry for your loss xx

 

[kaz1983]

So sorry for your loss hun i cant imagine wat that must have bn like

Ive just had our 2nd baby after a mmc in late 2015 and i worried constantly in fact i wasted my pregnancy worrying the turning point was 20weeks for me i started to calm down a bit but this only lssted 4weeks then i got hip pain then from 28weeks i had alot of protein and high blood pressure so was seen every week sometimes more than once i also had numerous trips to mat unit and a couple admissions due to this which made the last few weeks a huge worry as they mentioned delivering at 30weels if bp hadnt came down

Wen i saw my consultant at 34weeks i put ma foot down and demanded an induction date so i had an end point to fo us on

Induction day came and honestly it went quicker than me and medical staff expected an quite honestly im so glad its over i have no regrets saying that it was a horrible pregnancy and birth yet at the same time i was extremely happy to have bn given the chance so many women dont or struggle to get

I would spk to a grief counsellir i fid and it did help getting everything out xx