Hey I'm Shell, I found out i was pregnant about 2 weeks ago and I'm terrified 
I'm about 6 weeks gone and I'm filled with uncertainty, I've only been with my boyfriend for a couple of months (although we've known each other for years).
I'm only 19, a university student and I was literally on the first week of my gap year when I found out. I had a job in the Austrian Alps for the year and had to travel back to my hometown when I found out, I've had to stay here because I've had a series of hospital appointments and I've literally been stuck in limbo ever since I got here, not knowing if something was wrong with the pregnancy, what my options are and basically just waiting at my boyfriends all day while he's at work.
Well today i had a scan and luckily everythings okay, But all the talk of due dates and prenatal care has really scared me, it sounds silly but it's made it all so much more real and I'm terrified. I've always wanted to be a mother but not until i was older, I'm halfway through a degree and was travelling to get some research for my dissertation, I've always dreamed of eventually becoming a professor in my field and moving to scandanavia, and I dont know how I'm going to juggle everything. I've help take care of younger relatives before and I know it's incredibly hard but honestly I have no idea how to even begin looking after a baby, or how to fit it into my life. I really need even the most basic advice on what I'll need to buy and what to do, even what to expect with pregnancy and giving birth etc because I'm pretty sure I'll have to do most of this on my own, I've only told my mum and she's made it clear she doesnt want me to keep it.
Also I know its a delicate issue but I've thought adoption, because at the end of the day if someone else can provide a stable, loving life that I'm not sure I can surely that would be the better option? I would definately love my child but if I'm miserable from not acheiving my dreams, a single mum and bone poor surely that love would mean I would scarifice my rights so they could have a better life than that. I grew up in an unstable household with no father, a mother who drunk heavily and a string of abusive step fathers, and while i would certainly provide a better situation than that I still believe it wouldn't be the best I could provide if say this was 5-10 years in the future. It really upsets me because I always wanted to be married, with a stable job and house before i thought about having kids and now I'm just not sure what to do :/
I'm really just looking for any advice from people who've already had kids and know what to expect, or thoughts from anyones whose gone through something similar are really welcome, I just don't know what to do :/
Thankyou and sorry for rambling
I'm about 6 weeks gone and I'm filled with uncertainty, I've only been with my boyfriend for a couple of months (although we've known each other for years).I'm only 19, a university student and I was literally on the first week of my gap year when I found out. I had a job in the Austrian Alps for the year and had to travel back to my hometown when I found out, I've had to stay here because I've had a series of hospital appointments and I've literally been stuck in limbo ever since I got here, not knowing if something was wrong with the pregnancy, what my options are and basically just waiting at my boyfriends all day while he's at work.
Well today i had a scan and luckily everythings okay, But all the talk of due dates and prenatal care has really scared me, it sounds silly but it's made it all so much more real and I'm terrified. I've always wanted to be a mother but not until i was older, I'm halfway through a degree and was travelling to get some research for my dissertation, I've always dreamed of eventually becoming a professor in my field and moving to scandanavia, and I dont know how I'm going to juggle everything. I've help take care of younger relatives before and I know it's incredibly hard but honestly I have no idea how to even begin looking after a baby, or how to fit it into my life. I really need even the most basic advice on what I'll need to buy and what to do, even what to expect with pregnancy and giving birth etc because I'm pretty sure I'll have to do most of this on my own, I've only told my mum and she's made it clear she doesnt want me to keep it.
Also I know its a delicate issue but I've thought adoption, because at the end of the day if someone else can provide a stable, loving life that I'm not sure I can surely that would be the better option? I would definately love my child but if I'm miserable from not acheiving my dreams, a single mum and bone poor surely that love would mean I would scarifice my rights so they could have a better life than that. I grew up in an unstable household with no father, a mother who drunk heavily and a string of abusive step fathers, and while i would certainly provide a better situation than that I still believe it wouldn't be the best I could provide if say this was 5-10 years in the future. It really upsets me because I always wanted to be married, with a stable job and house before i thought about having kids and now I'm just not sure what to do :/
I'm really just looking for any advice from people who've already had kids and know what to expect, or thoughts from anyones whose gone through something similar are really welcome, I just don't know what to do :/
Thankyou and sorry for rambling
