He's cheated?? feeling v-different about the baby HELP

[sarahk]

Before Friday, everything was fine, I was happy and looking forward to having my baby. On Saturday night though I went through my other halfs phone. He has been calling a girl at funny hours. He's been out a few nights with 'the boys' and left me at home alone. I'm gutted. I dont know what to do. We have been together for 8 years.

I confronted him about it and he said it wasnt him and someone must have taken his phone. The next day though, he admitted speaking to her and that she is just a friend.

I took the girls number and sent her a text, she replied saying she was actually seeing someon and she understands why i'm concerned that there were all these late night calls, she said they are just friends.

The thing is, he's cheated before, 4 years ago with a friend of mine. It took a while to forgive and forget and I was just starting to trust him again. Now trust is broken.

Since the weekend, ive not stopped crying. I feel very differently about life and its scaring me. Whenever I feel the baby kick its a reminder of him and how could he do this. Its terrrible thing to say, but I feel like I wont be able to cope now. I feel differently about being pregnant and feel like a terrible Mum for thinking this way. Its not the babies fault.

Please help me, I dont know what to do??????

 

[tattybear85]

Sorry i dont have any advice but think your in need of a few of these

 

[BeckyJ]

i dont no wat 2 say hun, i wud definately feel the same tho

 

[xrachx]

aww... ...i wouldnt be any good to give advice as i wouldnt put up with cheating at all and there would be NO second chances with me, hope you make the right decision.

 

[debecca]

I think the biggest worry here is that he initially lied about the late-night calls... which means he must be feeling guilty to start with. Eejit.

I really really feel for you hun; this is NOT a nice situation to be in. I think you need to have an honest conversation with him and see where the land lies. Please try to be calm for your baby

 

[Nicola g]

 

[Tegala-7thMarch08]

 

[tots hope]

 

[muppetmummy]

Even if the girl is just a friend he shouldn't have lied about it. I'm not sure I'd trust him either. Maybe you should try talking to him about it again

 

[Sherlock]

Sorry you have found yourself in such a position. Hopefully you can have a talk with your OH and try to work out what's gone wrong and put it right. It may be he isn't having an actual sexual affair, but that he is just talking to this woman for whatever reason. I know its still not nice as he kept it quiet. Talk with him, see where things stand and if he is wanting to be with you ask that he not contact this woman again.

 

[floppit]

Sorry that you're going through this.

I don't know what to say really - except I hope you manage to get it sorted, or at least know what's happened.

 

[Natural mamma]

With my first child i ended up on my own as he cheated when i was about 5 months gone.....

It ripped me apart. We hadn't been together for as long as you have. I creid for weeks and felt completely alone.....terrified. It would cheer me up thinking of how i'd soon have a child MY baby not his as he'd made the decision to hurt me like this.

When Jake was born i was completely smitten...gorgeous i couldn't believe the love i felt. I realized i'd never loved til i gave birth to him. I didn't let him near the baby for the first 3 months. Then would let him see him when his mum was around. Jake is now 13 and has a wonderful relationship with his Dad... and i by the time Jake was a year old had moved on.....and had the veiw what doesn't kill ya makes you stronger...shit happens.


I know its hard to imagine now but when that babe is in your arms you will be on cloud nine..NOTHING ELSE will matter. Keep your chin up shoulders back and look the ******* in the eye....

 

[Babylicious]

It must be so hard to trust again after that

 

[abcd1234]

Unfortunatley i know how you feel we havnt been together as long but i caught him cheating and as far as im concerned he's gone now and thats his fault, he never seemed very interesting in baby anyway and im not gonna give him a chance to be around baby unless he proves he cares about him.
TBH im so mad right now i cant even talk to him, i want him to move back down to london with that girl shes originally from there) and then i never have to see him and i can still have a relationship with his family, but i know that wont happen.
It's ultimately up to you what you do and i know i've forgiven many a time, trust needs to be adressed if you do decide to try, but as everyone else has said on here you have got a wonderful baby to look forward to regardless of who you made it with

 

[jue]

No wonder you are feeling so horrible,

Have you got someone you can talk to or even have stay with you for a few days while you get you head a bit clearer.

Maybe you are going to have to face facts that he just isnt the faithfull type, and as hard as it sounds make a decision as to whether to stay with him or leave.

If you stay the harsh reality is that he is likely to do this to you again and again.

I hope you find some strength to deal with everything

 

[sarahk]

Thanks for the replies.

I hope I can find a way to deal with all this. This should be a happy time, but now I feel crushed and the future is uncertain. I dont know how to pick myself up. I love him so much and was just starting to trust him again.

I just wish i'd never met him, ive never felt so much pain before, he's completely broken my heart. I dont know how i'm going to get through the next 12 weeks.

 

[abcd1234]

you'll find a way hun, we always do. I guess you gotta decide what your going to do and stick to it, having said that i know thats easier said then done

 

[kalia]

 

[loz]

He shouldnt be calling another girl whether a friend or not without you being aware. Ask him why he needs her company? Hope you get through this hun and your baby will mean everything no matter what the father is like. x

 

[jue]

You WILL make it through the next 12 weeks, and you will come out of this stronger.

There is loads of support to be had on here, so keep your chin up