Help with sleep needed please

[NickyB]

Sorry, I don't get to post much but will grab a few minutes to post this and ask for help.

Lucy's always been a great little sleeper, she doesn't want much sleep through the day but is happy to sleep at nighttime

We didn't know what to do at first, and being a laid back sort of person, I would let her feed and nap in my arms in the evening, and just take her upstairs with us at bedtime. The main reason apart from this, was my HV only said "the WHO recommends baby always sleeps in the same room as you" when I asked about putting her to sleep in another room, so I've been a bit anxious about putting her upstairs before I go to bed.

It's worked fine basically, she'll snooze downstairs in the evening, then every night, Daddy takes er for her last change, and pops her in the sleeping bag, and gives her to me in the dark of our bedroom for her last feed, she knows this by now and sleep well from 11 - 11.30ish until the morning, about 8am.

The last week, shes been noticably tired in the evenings but she wont sleep in the moses basket downstairs, I guess the noise/lights from the TV are a bit much. I'm happy to let her lead me, so I took last weeks grumbly hints and we tried a 'routine' last night. We did bath, booby and bed, with Daddy doing the change and bringing her to me for booby like normal (but this time at about 8.20). She fell asleep in her basket and I crept out.

Only she woke, and started making noises, not crying, but sort of whinging I guess. I went upstairs and held her hand shusshing for a bit, but she just started crying instead. I picked her up and cuddled her, it just opened the flood gates, we had full on sobbing, she was so upset. I eventually brought her downstairs and we did what we've always done and took her upstairs at bedtime (grown up, not hers!). She slept straight through again, like normal.

So, I hope this was a coincidence and that something else upset her, not her new bedtime. I don't know how she would know it was different, except that she couldn't hear us asleep.

So, in your opinions, what next? Do I keep doing the routine?
And if it happens like that more often, how are you supposed to make a baby go to sleep? I thought we knew how, but clearly not! lol

Oh and back to my HV's remark, I am ok to put a near-3month old to bed a couple of hours before me right? She'll still be beside me most of the night.

Sorry that's so long!!

 

[Chrissy1]

Rather than moving her bedtime from yours to a much earlier one straight away you could try to bring her bedtime earlier by 15 minutes at a time and only move it another 15 earlier when she's used to the new time.

It would probably take a while and not be the instant result but it wouldn't be as much of a shock to her and would help her to get used it going to bed earlier a lot easier.

 

[NickyB]

I did think of that, bringing it forward to 10, then when she's happy, bring it to 9 and so on.

Thanks for your help, I'd be happy to go with that in the long run if it'll help

 

[Sherlock]

That's what we did, moved LO's bedtime a bit over the course of a couple of weeks.

And we left him in his basket in our room then also. This was from about 12 or 14 weeks iirc. We went to check on him on a regular basis and then got a baby monitor also. We'd go to bed a few hours later and we were happy with that.

FWIW I'd maybe not go to her straight away if she stirs but give her a few minutes to see if she settles herself back to sleep. I used to find going to my son would more often than not cause him to wake and yell and cry. Once I learnt to just wait a few minutes he would normally nod back off to sleep. I also kept the room very dimly lit, made no eye contact and didn't speak. Just kept it quiet so he recognised nighttime better.

 

[NickyB]

That's what we did, moved LO's bedtime a bit over the course of a couple of weeks.

And we left him in his basket in our room then also. This was from about 12 or 14 weeks iirc. We went to check on him on a regular basis and then got a baby monitor also. We'd go to bed a few hours later and we were happy with that.

FWIW I'd maybe not go to her straight away if she stirs but give her a few minutes to see if she settles herself back to sleep. I used to find going to my son would more often than not cause him to wake and yell and cry. Once I learnt to just wait a few minutes he would normally nod back off to sleep. I also kept the room very dimly lit, made no eye contact and didn't speak. Just kept it quiet so he recognised nighttime better.

Righto, that's what we're going to try then. I've read lots of your sleep posts Sherlock, and have totally adopted what you say regarding bedtime feeds so we've done that from day 1.

Hopefully I'll be able to update with some great news in a few weeks!

 

[Redshoes]

Just wanted to post that Ophelia stopped liking her moses basket and so we now put her in a swinging crib in the living room and she sleeps fine, might be an issue with not being able to see out, as they get very nosey as they grow Cannot help more as we co-sleep, she doesn't have a bedtime. I would say that leaving her to cry a little while longer may well sort things, its not something I'd ever do with Isaac as a baby but I've had to a couple of times with Ophelia and as I'm almost ready to go pick her up, she's fast asleep Sometimes babies cry simply because of a change in location/position, so stay strong with the leaving her a minute or two, very best wishes

 

[Sherlock]

Righto, that's what we're going to try then. I've read lots of your sleep posts Sherlock, and have totally adopted what you say regarding bedtime feeds so we've done that from day 1.

Hopefully I'll be able to update with some great news in a few weeks!

I've made a fair few I guess

I don't know, what we did worked for us but it hasn't always been easy. I guess with my medical problems after giving birth I just had to find some way to get LO to settle and sleep on his own. I kind of fell into the settling to sleep and sleeping overnight thing, but it was a bit hit and miss in the early days.

O we did use a mobile also, one that played for about 20 minutes over LO's cot (we moved LO into his cot at 6 weeks iirc as he got huge in his basket). That used to be his little signal that it was 'bedtime' and he loved watching it and nodding off to it playing and moving above his head. He's gone into his cot awake since day one which has been brilliant as it means either one of us can put him to bed now.

What did I say about bedtime feeds btw? Are we talking dreamfeeds later on or feeding then putting into basket etc?

Anytime you want to drop me a PM about things feel free. I'm happy to try to help if I can. I have a few bits of blurb from other PM's I can easily copy over to you if you want, goes into a bit more detail iirc. Fingers crossed something works for you Key is patience and to give things a few nights to start taking effect.

 

[Mildly]

We have a slightly odd bedtime routine but it works for us currently. We did the slowly bringing the bedtime forward and now he starts sleeping after his last feed at 8.30 and sleeps through til 7am ish (well actually it can be anything from 6am to 8am). Very occasionally he wakes for a top up feed at 11am or so but I think we are very lucky really.

We actually feed him downstairs and because he takes over 10oz of formula we leave him to self settle in front of his light show propped up against his V cushion - just a bit worried about him bringing his feed back up again. Then when I go to bed at around midnight I pick him up and take him upstairs to his moses basket. He rarely stirs as I make sure I take him up in the middle of his sleep cycle. I know that everyone says always put a baby down to sleep where they will wake up but it doesn't seem to unduly upset him and we have been doing it for so many weeks that he is used to it. I have bought a monitor though in readiness to getting him to sleep upstairs from the last feed but I'm worried the change in routine will mess everything up. He is fast growing out of his basket and so we will either put the travel cot up in our room or move him into his own room, not yet decided though.

Good luck with gradually bringing forward Lucy's bedtime. I'm sure she'll get used to it soon