Help I don’t know what to do :(

Lucy84

New Member
Joined
Jun 9, 2019
Messages
3
Reaction score
0
So a bit of background, I have a nearly 3 year old, me and her dad (my then husband) split when she was 1 years old. I met my current partner 1 year ago and a couple of months ago we decided we wanted to try for a baby, I didn’t want to wait too long due to my age however after 2 months of trying our relationship had turned terrible and still is, so 3 weeks ago I decided I don’t want to have a child with him and started taking my pill again. Our relationship has got worse and worse and this morning it was as good as over...I did a test as I had the most painful boobs and I can’t believe it I’m pregnant! He’s happy and saying we can make it work etc but I feel so sad that this has happened :( our relationship is so bad and I really wanted it to be over so that I could just focus On being the best mum to my little girl and now I feel like I’m a failure as I’ve just made mine and my little girls situation worse. She is my world and I just want the best for her.
I don’t know what to do and I’ve got no one to talk to!
 
Your world is not over, but your relationship can be if you want it to be. Nobody should stay together just for a baby if they're not otherwise happy.
Is there any chance the pressure of trying for a baby caused tension and you could move forward together? If not, just cut the ties with him and break it off. There's nothing to stop you doing this without him. You can get support as far as housing, etc. Once you've registered with a midwife you will be able to chat to someone about that.
There's lots of support here, don't feel like you have to be alone.
 
Your world is not over, but your relationship can be if you want it to be. Nobody should stay together just for a baby if they're not otherwise happy.
Is there any chance the pressure of trying for a baby caused tension and you could move forward together? If not, just cut the ties with him and break it off. There's nothing to stop you doing this without him. You can get support as far as housing, etc. Once you've registered with a midwife you will be able to chat to someone about that.
There's lots of support here, don't feel like you have to be alone.
Thanks for your reply. I don’t know, maybe the trying did cause more tension but we have lots of problems mainly stemming around him acting childish every time there’s an argument or disagreement. We do love each other and he is completely over the moon about this and says this will give him the kick up the arse he needs to be a better person as its the best news ever. I guess I have nothing to lose by giving it a try it’s just so hard because this morning I had decided I’ve had enough and wanted it to just be me and my little girl again.

Then I do a test and my whole world seems to of been shaken. I’m hoping once the news sinks in I might think clearer
 
Well I'll be honest with you, there have been times where I've said to my hubby, right what you just did was unacceptable, we're done, see yourself out. But then we've sat down and talked it out, he's acknowledged that his behaviour was unacceptable and it's a recurring habit (it was about housework, not his lack of housework but our differences in opinion and how he speaks to me about it etc) and I've acknowledged my own failings in that area and then we both work harder.
The bottom line is, as long as there's no abuse in a relationship, if you think you can work through it it's always worth trying. We've been to counselling before and it really helped us. Maybe think about that?
 
That’s a good idea, thank you.
Ours is also over silly little things but like you I don’t like the way he speaks to me about things etc and I can’t stand his over the top reaction to problems, hopefully we can work through it and this time he will try harder
 
It’s not a nice situation to be in, I feel for you. I wouldn’t stay with someone just because of a baby if I truly wasn’t happy. If you can make it work and be happy then that’s obviously the ideal situation, I think it’s a case of time will tell. Really hope it works out for you. X
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Members online

No members online now.

Latest posts

Forum statistics

Threads
473,596
Messages
4,653,911
Members
110,081
Latest member
monicurka
Back
Top