Help - Dilema!

[mandspice]

A friend is getting married at the beginning of October and she's invited me and OH. Thing is, it's a 3 hour train journey away and means paying for a hotel, train tickets etc as well as leaving Dexter with OH's mum & I don't really want to be apart from him unless it's for something I really want to go to!

So although we'd accepted I'd decided to cancel soon and just send her a pressie. However, before I got the chance to cancel she rang yesterday and left a voicemail asking me to be her bridesmaid! To be fair I think it must be because one of the other bridesmaids has bailed out, as she told me she had it all sorted.

We're not that close but have known each other a long time and she doesn't have many girlfriends so I feel bad.....what to do? How can I explain to her that I can't go / any ideas for "excuses" I could use??!

Thanks x

 

[Sugarhigh]

You could be honest with her and basically say that you dont want to be away from LO but a wedding aint really the right place for him either!

Good Luck hun I'm sure the other ladies will have more suggestions

 

[Jade&Evie]

why can't you take him?

Surely if she wants you to be a bridesmaid she'd happily want Dexter there too!

 

[Hazel]

Take him. We've got an engagemant party to go to when Connie is 5 weeks. It's a 4 hour drive and an overnight stay but I've got to get used to doing these things with a baby otherwise I would never leave the house. Taking her to her Nanny's 50th birthday party tonight .

 

[debecca]

Connie (the other one, not Hazel's clearly as I'm not some kind of mad baby stealer) is coming to my friend Kelly's wedding in October and I am dreading it so not really thinking about it

What really gets to me is the annoyance of her being out of her routine

 

[mandspice]

I'm with you on this one Debecca, we are taking him to another wedding at the end of Sept but it's local so much easier. For this one it'd mean leaving the house at 8am, getting to Kings Cross, a long train and then straight to the wedding.....OH and I don't know any of the other guests and also it's the expense of the whole thing I want to avoid......tbh, even if it wasn't for Dexter I'd still hesitate to go! xx

 

[dannii87]

I personally would go (I've never been a bridesmaid and agree with Hazel about me developing agoraphobia if I didn't still do stuff )

But, I understand your reasons so could you say

"Oooh we are actually planning a weekend away in Oct with another set of friends and their LO. It's pencilled for that weekend but unconfirmed. But, keep me pencilled in for coming for the moment and I'll let you know nearer the time. Thank you SO much for the offer of being bridesmaid though, that's so lovely! But I'd hate to let you down right at the last minute so is there anyone else you could ask?"

The reason I say "another set of friends" is because you have the excuse of not being too flexible because there is the other couple to consider...

I don't know! Hope you manage to get round it somehow! xxx

 

[Snuggle]

I personally would go (I've never been a bridesmaid and agree with Hazel about me developing agoraphobia if I didn't still do stuff )

But, I understand your reasons so could you say

"Oooh we are actually planning a weekend away in Oct with another set of friends and their LO. It's pencilled for that weekend but unconfirmed. But, keep me pencilled in for coming for the moment and I'll let you know nearer the time. Thank you SO much for the offer of being bridesmaid though, that's so lovely! But I'd hate to let you down right at the last minute so is there anyone else you could ask?"

The reason I say "another set of friends" is because you have the excuse of not being too flexible because there is the other couple to consider...

I don't know! Hope you manage to get round it somehow! xxx

Me thinks Dannii has made excuses to get out of things before

 

[dannii87]

Me?! Never!!

 

[mandspice]

Hehe, yep, you sound like an expert Dannii!

Well, I made an excuse which was mostly true....my Nan had a stroke recently and hasn't met Dexter yet so I said we have to go up to Norfolk and visit her that weekend, which we are doing now. I said it was her birthday which was the only white lie - you know how when you're lying you start to embellish a little too much?! It just slipped out