Help and advice
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Akua
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I think you’ve kind of answered your own question at the end there. If you’re trying to make the decision that’s right for you, not for anyone else, you need to decide yourself, not asking strangers on the internet.
I am not asking what to do-- rather I am trying to get perspectives about what it's like to have a kid at 42, have a kid with a stranger (or non-traditionally), to date over 40 with a newborn, and to understand some of the things I may not have considered about early termination and subsequent pregnancy. This is called information gathering, to make the right and informed decision for me. I'm sorry but I KNOW not a soul in my life who has been in this position-- so strangers on the internet is the best I got.
please keep your unhelpful comments to yourself.
please keep your unhelpful comments to yourself.
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Shanivy
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Completely unnecessary reply from you imo toolate. Nobody on this forum will give you a straight answer after a reply like that. Akua wasn't deliberately being unhelpful. Abortion is not allowed on the forum so nobody will probably comment there. I'm unsure how any of us can really help you. Your opinion here is really the only one that matters, like you have said.
To answer some of your questions, Fertility wise, getting pregnant this time doesn't mean it bodes well for you in the future. Especially with your age. Everyone is different. There are plenty of older women in the long term ttc section, and plenty who conceive without issue after 40. There isn't any way to know right now unless you were to explore your fertility.
Also I've had a history of depression anxiety and a bad childhood. Bad mother etc. Having depression previously increases the risk that you will have it in pregnancy or develop PND. But doesn't mean it's guaranteed. I am also the complete opposite of my mother with my children.
As to being a single mother, and an older mother, that's really a matter of if you want that. A million older single mums could give your their opinion but ultimately it's all down to if that's a path you would want to take.
To answer some of your questions, Fertility wise, getting pregnant this time doesn't mean it bodes well for you in the future. Especially with your age. Everyone is different. There are plenty of older women in the long term ttc section, and plenty who conceive without issue after 40. There isn't any way to know right now unless you were to explore your fertility.
Also I've had a history of depression anxiety and a bad childhood. Bad mother etc. Having depression previously increases the risk that you will have it in pregnancy or develop PND. But doesn't mean it's guaranteed. I am also the complete opposite of my mother with my children.
As to being a single mother, and an older mother, that's really a matter of if you want that. A million older single mums could give your their opinion but ultimately it's all down to if that's a path you would want to take.
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Akua
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That was a genuine answer. Sorry if you found it unhelpful.
Discussing terminations is against the forum rules, so you may not find too many people answering those questions.
My first pregnancy was a ‘miracle’ conception when I feel pregnant despite being on very reliable birth control. It ended in miscarriage, then it took over a year to fall pregnant again despite actively trying. That pregnancy also ended in miscarriage. So whilst I can’t comment on fertility after termination, I can say that sometimes falling pregnant easily once is no indicator of your ability to have children later on.
Discussing terminations is against the forum rules, so you may not find too many people answering those questions.
My first pregnancy was a ‘miracle’ conception when I feel pregnant despite being on very reliable birth control. It ended in miscarriage, then it took over a year to fall pregnant again despite actively trying. That pregnancy also ended in miscarriage. So whilst I can’t comment on fertility after termination, I can say that sometimes falling pregnant easily once is no indicator of your ability to have children later on.
