Has ur OH changed?

[positivity :)]

just thinking about a post i made in loopylou's thread in tri 1.

i went crazy yesterday (for the first time since bfp) at my OH coz he came home from a mates house 1 hour later than he had told me (we needed to go to tesco!)

anyhoo, it got my wondering how everyone's OH has been since ur BFP?

mine has been so good, i couldn't ask for more (except that he doesn't come home an hour late when we are meant to go to tesco!)

he's researched everything, given me an unlimited amount of money to spend on myself for food so that i eat and drink the right things. he now cleans the flat.. even though he does overtime every saturday to save for the baby while i have the weekend off!

we've been together a very bumpy 7 and a half years and he has turned into a man i have so much respect for in the past 14 weeks, it makes me so happy!

so how have ur OH's reacted? one of my friends OH has just kind of ignored her pregnancy completely and expects her to continue doing everything!

xx

 

[Princess81]

Erm mines not changed much really. He's slightly more attentive I guess but his attitude is that I'm pregnant not sick!!
He is sorting out the cats litter tray but cleaning/cooking whatever is still down to me - but then he's away all week so I have to do it for myself anyway x

 

[domestichuman]

Mine is definitely helping more, although not as much as I sometimes need. We have a battle though because he will look at what I consider to be a messy house and thinks it is just fine! I feel like I am always pointing out what is messy to him, he just sees it differently than I do. But he does do more than he used to, which is good. I still do a bit more than him though

 

[positivity :)]

ha, we are the opposite, my OH is always pointing out what is messy and i think its fine lol! xx

 

[i.love]

that's an interesting one...

sometimes I think maybe he has changed a lil bit. But it's not just pregnancy, it's many things - I finished Uni and have much more free time, and he gets very tired at work. So he spends more time playing computer games now, which he didn't used to do before... But that's a tiny thing really. Apart from that he has been wonderful - always supportive and so caring. He cleans the house regularly and cooks dinners, he goes maternity shopping (or any shopping really) with me, he is always ready to talk about any baby-related things... Though I am now trying to restrict myself and not to talk babies all the time to him. Because however good he is, guys can't be as excited about all the baby-related stuff as we are! And I just don't want to drive him mad one day

Apparently my dad changed loads when he found out that I was on the way. He became much more reserved, and would not talk about babies to my mum. He would not even touch her tummy to feel the baby kick!! Very weird. And, of course, there wasn't any question about him being there while my mum was in labour.

And now my dad is the most caring and loving dad in the world! I think it's partly a generation thing. And partly a nature thing. Because if you think about it, men lose interest in pregnant women for a reason. Men are supposed to try and spread their genes, and a pregnant woman is not available for any gene spreading anymore, you know what I mean? So I guess they start treating pg women differently, and it is normal.

My mum adviced me not to stress out even if my husband does change towards me. It's temporarily, and it's normal. The main thing is not to put too much pressure on him. We girls are already with child, we are not alone, we can feel those kicks and constantly think about the lil one. But our OHs are still alone, their world hasn't change as much as ours yet. Forgetting about this led many families to big problems...

Anyway, sorry about the long post I just found this question really interesting

 

[pinkyprincess]

Hmmm I don't think mine understands just how challenging it can be to be pregnant. I have suggested he flicks through one of my baby books so he has an idea, and he just looks at me like i'm mad. We were looking at cot's on Saturday and I’m going to buy one of those baby sleeping bags (my brother and sister both had them and I think they are fantastic) and I was explaining how it can help reduce the risk of cot death etc and he told me to stop being so pessimistic!!

He also has no clue about my hormones being up and down and thinks I fake my aversion to smells so I don’t have to take the bin bag out!
BUT when I had my procedure last week he was a diamond and wouldn’t let me lift a finger for 3-4 days and went shop whenever I requested! He does have his good points!

 

[TiffanyJaynexo]

I agree with PinkyPrincess. I don't think my OH has a clue just how much I'm going through/will be going through..

Saying that though, I think that's just a man thing as my OH has been lovely and caring since we found out.
The only thing I can fault him on is he's been going out a lot more, but I think that's because he's got back into his skateboarding and I bought him parts of his new skateboard for Fathers Day (which some of my family aren't happy about might I add)

I wish he didn't go out as much but at the same time I should let him have his freedom whilst he can because once baby is here, there will be no going out every day to go skateboarding on the park.. xxx

 

[positivity :)]

i.love, what a level headed logical appraisal!

pinky ur OH sounds normal and he is stepping up when it really matters so thats great! xx

 

[positivity :)]

yeah tiff, i agree, i think they need space too. my OH and i were invited out this coming friday, i'm the only 'girlfriend' going though as most of the blokes are single so ive decided not to go and let OH have the evening with his mates to be stupid, speak about all the things he will avoid if i'm around lol!

also, like i.love said, my OH is a playstation and call of duty addict but i suppose he works so hard and cleans the house etc, he needs an outlet! xx

 

[Sarah13]

My hubby hasn't really changed, he still does no chores unless I tell him lol! He's never here anyway as he works offshore not back til mid july now so I have to just get on with it anyway! He does ask how me and baby are every day when he phones though and tells me off for going to the gym (only cos its a swear word to him!). Like you Pos I can spend what I like just now too, and he don't question it, it's great!

However my teenage daughter has changed, shes a lot more helpful and always concerned about me which is sweet, shame she forgets once a month though and we have our usual hormonal rows over nothing of importance!

 

[pinkyprincess]

I agree with PinkyPrincess. I don't think my OH has a clue just how much I'm going through/will be going through..

Saying that though, I think that's just a man thing as my OH has been lovely and caring since we found out.
The only thing I can fault him on is he's been going out a lot more, but I think that's because he's got back into his skateboarding and I bought him parts of his new skateboard for Fathers Day (which some of my family aren't happy about might I add)

I wish he didn't go out as much but at the same time I should let him have his freedom whilst he can because once baby is here, there will be no going out every day to go skateboarding on the park.. xxx

I was reading your post on the relationships board on saturday (not sure how old it was) I meant to message you as my OH has behaved similar to yours except his vice is a beer! lol

 

[pinkyprincess]

Pos at least you get invited! In the 4 years i've been with OH i've only met his mates 3-4 times. To be honest I wouldn't want to go out with them but its the principle!!! lol!

 

[positivity :)]

well pinky i went many years where he had LOTS of 'boys' nights so i now how frustrating it can be! on this occassion it was his brother that invited me, not my OH! xxx

 

[TiffanyJaynexo]

I agree with PinkyPrincess. I don't think my OH has a clue just how much I'm going through/will be going through..

Saying that though, I think that's just a man thing as my OH has been lovely and caring since we found out.
The only thing I can fault him on is he's been going out a lot more, but I think that's because he's got back into his skateboarding and I bought him parts of his new skateboard for Fathers Day (which some of my family aren't happy about might I add)

I wish he didn't go out as much but at the same time I should let him have his freedom whilst he can because once baby is here, there will be no going out every day to go skateboarding on the park.. xxx

I was reading your post on the relationships board on saturday (not sure how old it was) I meant to message you as my OH has behaved similar to yours except his vice is a beer! lol

I remember a post you made about that hun, in Tri1 I think it was?
Me and my OH don't drink (and I certainly don't now!) so I guess the only thing my OH can do is go out with his friends skating PM me if you like xxx

 

[Bella2]

Mine's not really changed dramatically, he's always been pretty good cooking meals and doing the washing - although I do all the housework. One thing he is really strict on is not letting me carry ANYTHING no matter how light lol! He had a go at me the other day for lugging the dyson up the stairs but I'm normally so independent I hate asking for help all the time. He's not really read much up on baby stuff, I think partly because he doesn't want to get too attached after we had a MMC last year. They say women become mums when they fall pregnant and men become fathers once the baby is here. I definately think there's some truth in that! x x

 

[Nat26]

Wow its really interesting hearing how everyones other half is different. Its so true bella that men don't become fathers until babys here. We're having our first and its almost like he hasn't really acknowledged that I'm pregnant....to be fair baby wasn't planned so its taken us both a long time to get use to it. I do absolutely everything...including carrying heavy things, climbing up ladders - you name it I do it and think I will right up to the birth....its not like anyone else is going to help me..
My OH also says im pregnant not ill, I think its going to be really interesting to see how he is when baby arrives xx

 

[Bella2]

Wow its really interesting hearing how everyones other half is different. Its so true bella that men don't become fathers until babys here. We're having our first and its almost like he hasn't really acknowledged that I'm pregnant....to be fair baby wasn't planned so its taken us both a long time to get use to it. I do absolutely everything...including carrying heavy things, climbing up ladders - you name it I do it and think I will right up to the birth....its not like anyone else is going to help me..
My OH also says im pregnant not ill, I think its going to be really interesting to see how he is when baby arrives xx

Argggh "You're pregnanct not ill" that has to be the most annoying phrase ever!! Being pregnant can certainly make you feel bloody ill at times what with morning sickness, dizziness etc!! Bless ya hopefully he'll become a bit more understanding once he gets more used to the idea, I think half the problem is it's not their bodies it's happening to so they tend to forget/not be as considerate x x

 

[roxane 1985]

mine is an angel sent from heaven, he too waits on me hand and foot, whenever i need him he is ther, is helps me look after my daughter fom another partner, i couldnt ask for anything more

100% perfect and we've only been together 10 months