Gutted

[TaffyRose]

So my bad weekend, just got worse ....

My SIL just texted me with a picture of a digi stating 'Pregnant 3+' and the doctor reckons she's about 10 weeks but has had light periods so she assumed she wasn't. I know it'll be a niece or nephew for me and my OH and I'm over the moon about that but I'm also gutted. I confided in her a few months ago we were trying and next thing you know she's pregnant. My OH doesn't understand at all, in fact he's just picked another fight with me and now is refusing to talk to me so I'm sat on my own crying, I really have had enough

Sorry bit of a depressing thread but it's the only place I can say how I feel at the moment xxx

 

[Jaxx01]

Hun it's completely natural.

I had a miscarriage in July 09 and then promptly after my sister announced her pregnancy, not very tactfully...I was in tears for weeks and couldnt face her

It's soo hard sometimes for people to stop and think what others are going through xxx

 

[cosmicgirl]

That's hard isn't it, I'd hate someone to send me that pic xx


Sent from my knackered iPhone

 

[ab11]

awww i kno how u feel, a couple years back wen we decided to start trying.
i told mt sil as a friend as i needed someone to talk to.
next thing she was pregnant, her lil girl as jus turned 2.
now she keeps goin on about them tryin afor another next year.
she knows what were goin through, but doesnt seem to care about how i feel.
i talk to my hubby about it, he jus says are time will come.
men dont seem to understand do they?
xx

 

[kirstymichelle]

The pic was a bit insensitive , but i cant blame someone for being excited . You know when things happen to ourselves we get swept away in excitement etc and dont stop to think and esp with something like a pregnancy it just feels like the excitement when you test and get the answer you want is just too much to contain. I just know how i will feel, if and when i get my bfp i will just want to tell the world lol but i wont incase something goes wrong . I know its hard but other peoples lives dont revolve around ours , and sometimes its quite a selfish thought to think 'well they know what we're going through' . Hugs though cos i know how it feels to want it to be you so much x

 

[lisey27]

Totally understandable, I had a miscarriage and a month later my best friend was pregnant. I am so happy for her but haven't seen her yet as I think I will found it difficult.
Men, don't seem to get it-my OH says 'it will happen for us soon'. xx hope you're ok

 

[kanga86]

Men really don't understand how someone's great news like a pregnancy can be so heartbreaking for us. One of my oh's friends knew about our mc and they got pregnant a few weeks later, they didn't tell my oh until after their 12 week scan, and i got to see the pic flashed all over facebook. the hard thing is, is that they weren't even trying until my oh told them i was pregnant a few weeks before my mc.

We had to go round there to collect payment for my oh working on their car, but i couldn't bring myself to get out the car to speak to them, so totally get it. xxx

 

[In Dreams]

*big hugs hun*

 

[TaffyRose]

Cheers girls, I don't think it helps that my OH has been so nasty the last few days, getting that picture message just tipped me. I am genuinely chuffed for her though.

However if I don't get a bfp this month I will be moving to wtt as I don't want to bring a baby into this world with the way my OH is behaving. He's had me in tears the last 3 days and I don't want my child ever feeling like I'm feeling.

Seeing it as a positive though, build my business, get rid of my debt and I'm starting to think it hasn't happened because of all the stress I'm under so I need to remove that.

FX for all of you xxx

 

[blondy13]

Oh Hun I know exactly how you're feeling. I'm sending massive hugs your way. It's so hard and people never understand just how hard until they have struggled to conceive themselves. I know I didn't until we started trying and found problems.
Do you know why your OH is being so harsh to you? Could it be TTC stress also?
Hope you're ok xxx

 

[Sunbeam638]

Hey taffy, I had a similar thing recently with my brothers oh announcing her pg with what would have been a day apart with my not meant to be due date.

I fell out with oh about it because I was so devastated that I had mc'd and It would have been great to be pg the same time. Oh didn't get it and told me to stop comparing and what ifs didn't make any sense to him. I was cross at first that he was so insensitive but he sees things so differently, their baby their life, our life is totally different....etc

I could have received the news better from my bro&oh but such is life, just good job I have been on holiday to put it out of my mind...got there after my first strawberry daiquiri and couldn't be happier for them now!

Sending you a big hug!xx

 

[TaffyRose]

No blondy13 not ttc stress. OH is very much of the opinion no one is good enough and until recently I believed I wasn't on that list, this weekend he's confirmed I am. Nothing I do is right and it's getting to the stage in my life where I'm fed up of making excuses for him and putting up with it. I give everything and get nothing in return.

Lots of decisions to be making at the moment xx

 

[EmmaN27]

Taffy Rose xxx

 

[CARNAT22]

Hugs OP!

I totally get where you are coming from. Had I not miscarried in May I'd have been due on 4th Jan. I have two friends due on 28th Dec and 31st December respectively - talk about a constant reminder hey?

For the most part I am happy that they have both had healthy pregnancies I just wish the timing coud have been a litte better. I am never going to be able to ignore the fact that when these two bubs come into the world, my baby should have followed.

I try not to think about it like this very often and when I say stuff like this to my OH he just doesn't get it (He tells me to stop'looking back' and tells me I cannot change things, it wasn't our time etc..) I know he means well but it doesn't change how I feel..

xxxxxxxxxx

 

[TaffyRose]

Well after a very good cry and swimming until my lungs hurt I'm starting to feel a bit more myself. I think the stress of how my OH is at the moment didn't help my reaction to my SIL's announcement. But I'm good friends with her and I know she'll rely on me for support so I will definitely be there for her and my niece or nephew. I genuinely am over the moon for her, I just need to sort out my OH now!

My MIL also emailed me today to ask if I was ok as I think she had guessed we were ttc which was very sweet. She also offered to take me for a large glass of wine this week

Thank you all for your support xxx

 

[itisbabytime]

oh taffy, i totally know how you feel hun. Sorry Ive been away for a while...

i started spotting at the weekend and have done 3 tests all negative GOD DAMN IT and spent all of saturday feeling sorry for myself and being weepy and then the phoen rings and I find out another relative is pregnant, she has only been married for 2 months and is religious so i know she wasnt dtd before the wedding.

WHEN IS IT OUR TURN!!!!!!!! FX crossed for you hun I realy hope we move to Tri 1 soon!!!!

 

[charliebear]

Hope you enjoy that large glass of wine.

I should have been 9 weeks when my sister gave birth, if I hadnt had my early miscarriage. I was dealing with it as best I could and went to visit her in hospital, to have my BIL constantly ask me if I was pregnant! (I was just under 5 weeks when my last nephew was born) Kick in the balls eh? x

 

[Tara1985]

Sorry to hear you are having a tough time Taffy. It is completely understandable, the problem with most men is that they simply don't think. Hope you are feeling better soon xxx

 

[CupcakeMummy]

My heart goes out to you Taffy, I know exactly how you feel.

Time's a good healer, and just think, one day they'll have a bugger of a toddler and you'll still be in the sweet phase!!!
(That's what gets me through these types of things!)