Grrr!!! My latest m/w appointment

Hooray!!! The www.spinningbabies.com exercises must have paid off because the baby is now head down, over my pelvis (although of course not engaged this early), bum in the air. Well done baby!!! For those of you who didn't know, my baby was transverse for a while.

The m/w couldn't remember commenting that the baby's position might have been a problem so early on (though she did admit that she was menopausal at the moment and apt to be a bit silly and forgetful ). I was all chuffed, thinking I was all set for my homebirth, when she declared that if I went into labour before 39 weeks, I'd have to go into hospital.

I told her that both of my other two babies were born before 40 weeks and that I expect to go at least 4 days early with this one (I always thought my "official" due date was a bit late on anyway as I have a short mentrual cycle). This means I'll be lucky to get a homebirth if I go any earlier than a week before this intended due date. I know they don't change due dates by later scans (they just assume it's a bigger baby for dates), but the latest scan gave an estimated due date of 21st October, yet my offical due date isn't till 8th November (a difference of two and a half weeks!).

I tried to discuss this with the m/w and said I thought they would deliver a baby at home from 37 weeks (if it was an issue of safety due to the baby being term or not), but she said it was their "policy" to only put m/ws on call from 39 weeks as they had so few people go before due dates and couldn't guarantee the staff. Then she said that she (one of the m/ws who was supposed to be on-call in my area) was going on holiday the fortnight before my due date so it was less likely they would spare a m/w!!! And, as she mentioned before, another woman in my area, due the same time, has requested a homebirth. My m/w is a supervisor.

I also said that I had thought that if I refused to go in that they were legally obliged to send me a m/w to attend to me, but she said, "No, you'd just be advised to come in". Is this correct? Obviously, I won't jeopardise my baby's safety, but I don't want to be forced into a hospital birth just because of a staffing issue!

This is giving me stress I don't need. I just looked up fees for an independent m/w there, but the fees quoted were £2,500 and as I'm on a low income, so there's no way I can afford that. I know, I might get to 39 weeks and have the baby at home with an on-call m/w, but the uncertainty of this is going to have me worried.

I'd best subscribe to homebirth.org quickly, eh?

 

[nikkif]

Glad baby is head down!!

 

Yes, if I (with my legal qualifications and interest in medical law) can't get a homebirth, then who can?

It's been ages - over 10 years now! - but I had a similar fight to be attended at home with my first baby. I've just visited:
http://www.aims.org.uk/homebirth1.htm

for some up-to-date advice. I'm going to fight this. I know that they say that they can't/won't provide cover in the hope that you'll back down and change your plans, but I'm going to let them know now, in no uncertain terms, that if I decide on the day to have a homebirth (whilst keeping an open mind, of course), then I shall bloody well have one

What was it old Thatcher used to say (not that I was a big fan of her politics)? 'The lady's not for turning'

Well Midna, see? YOUR baby has plenty of time to turn too.

xxxx

 

[trixipaws]

glad baby is head down. i hope u get ur home birth

 

[Jendon]

Its mad the way "policies" differ between areas. My MW was positively trying to encourage me to have a homebirth at my last appointment but we have a lot of renovation going on so I dont feel it is appropriate. After this converstaion I told her that I was a bit worried about leaving for the hospital too late and getting caught short (my frist labour was only 5 hours long) and she said that if I felt things were progressing too quickily to phone the hosp and ask for a MW to come to me as it would be safer than delivering at the side of a road!!! She really, really wants me to go for a homebirth. And if mum and baby are both healthy I think you should absolutely have the option to do it.

 

[Redshoes]

As long as it's a normal, healthy pregnancy and baby is positioned correctly, ANY woman has the right to have a homebirth from 36wks. Having just fought the medical staff myself, I do know a bit about their current 'not allowed' lines, and most of it is rubbish.

If they have no MW's in the area they HAVE to pull others in, and I understand that some people may think that 'unfair to other labouring women' but like I said ALL women have the choice and it is not one individual persons responsibility to consider every pregnant woman, it is the medical departments job, so do not let them make you feel bad, they DO have staff, it would just cost them more, I can believe your MW said what she said but she is wrong also.

I know you'll make the right choices for you Wendy, you're a blooming clever and lovely lady

http://www.homebirth.org.uk/

http://www.nmc-uk.org/aArticle.aspx?ArticleID=1970

 

Thanks for all your words of encouragement, ladies and for the links too, Redshoes. I'm a bit childish in my rebellion - if someone says I can't do something, it just makes me more determined!

The funny thing is that I can't imagine having a home birth after all this time...I really wanted one 10 years ago (and was so depressed it didn't work out) that I've tried not to get my hopes up again since. I would just like to be laid back about the whole thing - try it, see how it goes and, if I felt too anxious or if things went wrong, then to go into hosptial. You have to be so determined to have a home birth though (in order to have any chance of getting one) that there is no room to try and be "chilled out" about it. That's the sad part. Perhaps that's why ladies feel like such a "failure" if they have to go in to hospital: the poor things have fought so hard to even be "allowed" to have the home birth that it's no wonder they feel like they've "failed" if they don't manage it.

We are so vulnerable when we're pregnant, eh? Not just because of hormones, but by the emotional blackmail that others can use on us. No wonder homebirth is seen as a quirk of the middle-classes! Perhaps exceptionally, I'm not middle-class, but I am well-educated (and you'd need to be to exercise any kind of "choice" about how you give birth in this country). I'm dismayed that things haven't improved in the last 10 years since my first child was born. Or perhaps they have in the South of England, but not here in Scotland?

Well, at least Scotland has a breastfeeding law....

 

[Clydesdaleclopper]

I'm really glad LO has moved for you - it's a fab website isn't it.

The situation is that the MW owes a duty of care to the mother that overrides her contractual obligations to the NHS trust so that even if the hospital say that there are no midwives available a mw should not refuse to come out to you - at least that's the theory.

Good luck.

 

[mrs_tommo22]

woohoo!!!!!