Grandparents rights?

[Miss.Monroe]

my mother is an alcoholic, and drinks everyday.(when she worked at the hospital she used to drink alcohpops so that patients wouldnt smell cider on her breath)

i moved out when i was 14 because she beat me up, although she never refered to it or aknowledges it. she already thinks shes going to be present at the birth of this little one, which she is defiantly not going to be! and is intimidating and manipulative.

when i see her in the day its fine, but when evening comes, her voice slurrs and she gets intimidating. and i do get scared because she just changes even my friends are scared of her!

i had my ears pinned back in october and she said i could stay there for the week while i had the bandage on, well the first night i was there she went out got drunk and came home ranting and raving making me cry and i ended up leaving and going back to my flat at like 1am!

i text her and said she really let me down and i thought we were all over this sort of thing now.but as normal things go back to how they were and we kinda forget about what happened.

even now you can tell what sort of mood shes in and you can kinda guage when somethings going to happen.ive always said to my friends if ever i got pregnant me and my mum would fall out. and it seems its going to happen again

my mum seems to think when the baby is born she will be having it to stay over at the weekends and doing all sorts with it, without me there!

i dont ever want my baby to see how horrible she can be, she scares me so i certainly dont want to put my baby in that position.
if im being perfectly honest i wouldnt mind moving away just so it wasnt as easy for her to get in touch. but i dont think thats going to happen.

shes the sort of person who will fight for grandparents rights, and probably convince the courts, seeing how shes sober during the day!

i was just wondering if the courts would ever allow unsupervised access to our baby without me being there?

 

[beanie]

well there is obviously the welfare of your baby which the courts have to take seriously. I wouold talk to the CAB or someone similar for legal advice, they will tell you who to talk to, what to do etc.

Hope you get it sorted

 

[Craig]

Theres no law on grandparents access (yet anyway), and whether access is allowed is upto the parents, even if it goes to court iirc - she can try to convince the court but im not sure if it can be enforced, i dont think so. the kids own opinion is allowed when they reach 10, but until then its parents' choice.

As beanie said, kids welfare will be taken into account anyway, and obviously being around an alcoholic, and also with your statement on her, she wouldnt have a leg to stand on legally anyway.

 

[Strangeness]

I'm not aware of any law giving grandparents rights hun so I wouldn't worry. She wouldn't have a leg to stand on if she took it to court.

 

[Miss.Monroe]

ah thats great news! that she cant enforce anytihng legally! thats really cheerd me up, because i know she would and obviously if its done through court theres nothing i could do! big smiles from me now!

 

[lfc_sarah]

I'm not aware of any law giving grandparents rights hun so I wouldn't worry. She wouldn't have a leg to stand on if she took it to court.

^^

 

[MissSara]

Awwww bless, i'm sure she won't get near to your baby without you being there. Even if there was a law they wouldn't give her un supervised visits if she drinks.

 

[Sherlock]

Ditto what Craig has said above. There is no law for grandparents rights to access with their grandchild. Some grandparents have tried in court, but I don't think got very far with it.

Also with regards to your mother being present at the birth, you have the right to choose who you want with you. If you inform the hospital you don't wish your mother to be allowed access during labour, they will respect your wishes. I'd include in your birth plan who you wish to attend. And make it quite clear to your mother your wishes. Worse comes to worse, don't tell her when you go into labour, wait till LO is born.

Hopefully between now and then you can sort things out with your mother to the point where she is clear on how you feel and where she stands with regards to seeing and having LO to stay. Start as you mean to go on I reckon.

A couple of links for you to read

PDF docu, right click 'open'

Grandparents help site So you can read what is what exactly.

Loads more if you Google something like 'grandparents rights to access of grandchild UK'

 

[Miss.Monroe]

thank you sherlock. thats what we planned to do, just not tell her when i go into labour, but then it would be all my OH fault for not phoning her! she said to a mutural friend of ours that i asked her the other day if she would be there and that i really hope she would be there with me! what a lie! the mutural friend knew what i thought of it. so you can see what were dealing with here!

shes a nutcase!!

i think im going to say nearer the time that ive been devising my birthing plan and decided that i want it to be just me and my OH. i mean im not close to my mum we have a volatile relationship i moved out when i was 14 and to be honest i cant think of anyone worse to be with me!

 

[cloud9]

I had to look into this when i was pregnant for different reasons and grandparetnts have no rights.

At DErby anyone not naamed on the birth plan won't get into the labour room

If it going to cause probs for your oh not telling her you are in labour maybe tell her you want it to be just you and OH at the moment of birth

 

[Strangeness]

They always ask names to get into the delivery and post natal wards and if you put down a name and say you don't want them to be allowed in then they won't let them in. They are really good with who they let in because there are lots of people who have violent partners etc who they don't want there and they never let them through.

 

[Adele]

I am in a similer situation, apart from its with both of my parents. Its my responsability to protect my children, and I have decided that neither of my parents will have any contact with them. When it came to going into labour with Paige I had the same worry as you, if they tried to visit me. But I had anyone in contact with them e.i my sisters, swear not to tell them until after I was back home and it was fine. I've received post off of them but as they live down in devon im not too worried about them being stupid enough to try and come up to see me and the kids (my dads bail condition is to stay away from me anyway and hes most likely going to prison soon). But even when he does, I still wont see my mother. Its completely our rights as parents to decide who our children see/spend time with, so don't feel pressured into letting your mom see your baby just because 'shes your mom', if you'd prefer her not to.

 

[Miss.Monroe]

sorry to hear about that adele. hugs to you. its a shame isnt it when the people who bring you into the world arent the people your closest to. i do feel manipulated and preassured by my mum because i know if she doesnt get what she wants she will start something and i dont want any hassel... grr