WendyWandy I completely understand what you're saying, and I know it's not really an event you can plan, and I too would urge mothers to recognize this, I did too, but it still doesn't make the shock of such a change any easier I'm sure you'd agree?? Hypnobirthing really helped us feel better about our choices throughout the labour, we worked as a great team, the 3 of us 
I loved being pregnant and also loved feeling the labour, if it all went a bit too medical at the end and the experience changed (I didn't feel pain from my contractions until after I was oxytocin induced 
)I do not regret anything except my decision to admit myself to hospital, I will never know if Isaac would have been born at home the friday night or saturday because of that, I don't regret any other choices but that one, and I hope it goes away eventually but like you say, "de-brief" by talking/writing about your experience is the best way, it really helps me
I really hope you get your homebirth this time too, 3rd time lucky as they say
and we both prove that just because you really want a homebirth, you never compromise your baby's safety, which I found some people accused me of for choosing home above hospital 
Sorry to witter on
Very best wishes, I look forward to following your pregnancy and hearing all about your birth too
